It will be OK though. Nina will come back, or Lamarr will. I’ll be able to get a message out to them.
I just have to wait.
I am still sitting, staring into space and biting my battered nails, when a nurse puts her head around the door.
‘Call for you, duckie. I’ll put them through on the bed phone.’ She gestures to the white plastic phone suspended on an arm beside my bed and then slips out.
Who can it be? Who knows I’m here? Could it be my mum? I look at the clock. No – it would be the middle of the night in Australia.
Then, like a cold hand on the back of the neck, a thought comes to me. James’s parents. They must know I’m here.
The phone starts to ring. For a moment I lose all courage, and I almost don’t answer it. But then I grit my teeth and force myself to pick up the receiver.
‘Hello?’
There’s a pause, and then a voice says, ‘Nora? Is that you?’
It’s Nina. Relief floods through me, and for an irrational second I wonder about telepathy. ‘Nina!’ It’s so good to hear her voice, to know I’m not stranded here. ‘Thank God you called. They might be chucking me out – and I realised I don’t have your number or anything. Is that why you’re calling?’
‘No,’ she says shortly. ‘Listen, I’m not going to beat around the bush. Flo’s tried to commit suicide.’
27
FOR A MINUTE I can’t speak.
‘Nora?’ Nina says after a moment. ‘Nora, are you still there? Shit, has this thing cut me off?’
‘Yes,’ I say, dazedly. ‘Yes, yes I’m here. I’m just— Jesus.’
‘I didn’t want to tell you like this but I didn’t want you to hear it from one of the nurses or the police or something. She’s being taken to your hospital.’
‘Oh my God. Is she … is she going to be OK?’
‘I think so, yes. I found her, in the bathroom at the B&B where we’re staying. She’s been pretty off the wall but I didn’t realise … I—’ She sounds shaken, and I realise for the first time the strain that she has probably been under. While Clare and I are in hospital, avoiding the brunt of the interrogations, Nina, Flo and Tom have presumably been questioned round the clock. ‘It was pure luck I came back earlier than I said I would. I should’ve noticed. It’s been horrible, but I never thought—’
‘It’s not your fault.’
‘I’m a bloody doctor, Nora.’ Her voice at the other end of the phone is anguished. ‘OK, it’s a while since I’ve done anything in mental health, but we’re supposed to remember our basic training. Shit. I should have seen this coming.’
‘But she’ll be OK?’
‘I don’t know. She took a bunch of sleeping pills, combined with some Valium and a hell of a lot of paracetamol, washed down with whiskey. It’s the paracetamol that’s worrying me – it’s pretty nasty stuff. You can wake up feeling just fine in hospital and then your liver packs up just when you’ve decided suicide really isn’t going to fit in with your spring calendar.’
‘Oh my God. Poor Flo. Did she say … did she give a reason?’
‘She just left a note saying she couldn’t cope any longer.’
‘Do you think—’ I stop, I can’t think how to ask this.
‘What? That she’s got a guilty conscience?’ I almost hear Nina’s shrug down the phone. ‘I don’t know. But whatever you think happened, she was holding the gun. I don’t think Lamarr and Roberts went particularly easy on her.’
‘How did she get the pills?’
‘She got prescribed the diazepam and the sleeping pills. She – we’ve all been under a lot of stress, Nora. She saw a man get shot. That’s PTSD kind of stuff.’
I shut my eyes. I’ve been safe here, wrapped in my cocoon of ignorance, while Flo has been falling apart.
‘She was so obsessed,’ I say slowly. ‘Do you remember, the way she kept going on about giving Clare the perfect hen.’
‘I know,’ Nina says. ‘Believe me, we heard a lot about that the last couple of days. She’s not done much except for cry and blame herself for what happened.’
‘But what did happen, Nina?’ I realise suddenly that I’m gripping the white plastic receiver so hard that my fingers hurt. ‘Lamarr thinks it’s murder. I know she does. They’re asking weird questions about my phone. They’ve given me a formal caution. I’m a suspect.’
‘We’re all suspects,’ Nina says wearily. ‘We were in a house when a man got shot and died. It’s not just you. Fuck, I wish this were over. I’m missing Jess so much I can barely think. Why the fuck did we agree to this, Nora?’
She sounds tired. Tired not just of this, but of everything. And I can see her, suddenly, her and Tom alone in their B&B rooms, waiting to be questioned, waiting for answers, waiting for news on Flo and Clare and everything else.