‘He looks lovely,’ I said, trying not to sound wistful. God knows, I don’t want a baby, but there’s something about seeing someone else’s happy family unit that feels excluding, even when it’s not meant to be.
‘He is,’ Melanie said, her face soft. ‘I feel very blessed.’ She touched the cross at her neck, almost unconsciously, and then sighed. ‘I just wish there were reception here. I honestly thought I was ready to leave him, but now … two nights is too much. I keep thinking, what if something goes wrong and Bill can’t ring?’
‘He’s got the house phone number though, hasn’t he?’ I took a bite of toast and Marmite.
Melanie nodded. ‘Yes. In fact,’ she looked at the time on her phone again, ‘I said I’d phone him this morning. He was nervous about ringing early in case he woke everyone up. D’you mind if I …?’
‘Not at all,’ I said, and she got up, drained her cup, and put it on the counter. ‘Oh, by the way,’ I suddenly remembered as she headed towards the door, ‘I meant to ask, did you go out to the garage?’
‘No?’ She looked surprised, her voice framing the word as a question. ‘How come? Was it open?’
‘I don’t know, I didn’t try the door. But there were footsteps going out there.’
‘How odd. Wasn’t me.’
‘Bizarre.’ I took another bite and chewed thoughtfully. The footsteps were crisp, so they must have been made sometime after the snow had finished falling. ‘You don’t think …’ I said, then stopped.
‘What?’
I hadn’t thought through what I’d been about to say, and now, as I said the words, I felt an odd reluctance to voice them. ‘Well … I assumed it was someone coming from the house to the garage and back. But it could have been the other way round.’
‘What … like someone snooping round? Were there footsteps coming up to the garage?’
‘I didn’t see any. But the garage is so close to the wood, and I don’t think the tracks would show there – the snow’s too patchy and broken up.’
Plus, although I didn’t say it, if there’d been any tracks on the forest path my run had probably just effectively obliterated them.
‘Never mind,’ I said, picking up the tea determinedly. ‘This is silly. It was probably just Flo going out to get something.’
‘Yeah, you’re right,’ Melanie said.
She gave a shrug and left the room, and a minute later I heard the ‘ching’ of the receiver as she picked up the handset. But instead of the sound of the dial clicking around, I heard ‘ching, ching, ching’ and then a bang as the receiver was slammed down.
‘For crying out loud, the phone line’s down! Honestly, this is the last straw. What if something’s happened to Ben?’
‘Hang on.’ I put my plate in the dishwasher and followed her into the living room. ‘Let me try. Maybe it’s his number.’
‘It’s not his number.’ She handed me the receiver. ‘It’s dead. Listen.’
She was right. There was no dial tone, just an echoing empty line, and a faint sound of clicking.
‘It must be the snow.’ I thought of the branches in the forest, weighed down by their burden. ‘It must have brought down a tree branch and snapped the line. The engineers’ll get it back up I imagine, but—’
‘But when?’ Melanie said. Her face was pink and upset and there were tears in her eyes. ‘I didn’t want to make a big deal about this to Clare, but this was my first trip away and to be honest, I’m having a pretty shitty time. I know I’m supposed to be all like “Woo! Night out with the girls!” but I don’t want to do this any more – all this drinking and stupid pissing about. I don’t give a fuck who slept with who. I just want to go home and cuddle Ben. You want to know the real reason I woke up early? Because my tits were rock hard with milk and they were so painful they woke me up leaking all over the fucking bed.’ She was really crying now, her nose running. ‘I had to g-get up and pump into the sink. And now this is the l-last straw, I’ve got n-n-no idea if they’re OK. I don’t want to be here any more.’
I stared at her, biting my lip. Part of me wanted to hug her, the other part of me was recoiling from her tear-stained, snot-dripping face.
‘Hey,’ I said awkwardly. ‘Hey, look … if you’re having a shit time …’
But I stopped. She wasn’t listening. She was staring not at me, but out of the window at the snow-bound forest, turning something over in her mind, breathing slowly as her sobs subsided.
‘Melanie?’ I ventured at last.
She turned to look at me, and wiped her face on her dressing-gown sleeve. ‘I’m going to go,’ she said.
It was so sudden that I didn’t know what to say.
‘Flo will kill me, but I don’t care. Clare won’t mind. I don’t think she gave a toss about having a hen in the first place, it was all Flo’s weird obsession with being the world’s best friend. Do you think I can get my car down the drive?’