“Hey, Schafer,” he said. “I was worried about you. I kind of figured you’d be in the library. But you’re doing okay?”
“Excellent, never better, thanks for your concern, pal. I don’t suppose you like girls as well as boys?” Elliot inquired.
“Uh,” Dale said. “No.”
“Lots of people do, you know,” said Elliot.
“Not me,” said Dale.
Elliot had further arguments to make on the subject, but he didn’t want to be offensive.
“That’s cool, buddy,” Elliot told him, and clapped him on the back. “Suit yourself. It’s always a pleasure. But I have to go talk to another guy about something.”
He rushed away from Dale, who wore the puzzled but friendly expression that was his default around Elliot, and almost crashed into Luke, who caught him before he hit Luke or the wall or anything else.
“Luke, I need bro advice,” said Elliot.
“Oh,” said Luke, looking startled. “Okay. Is this about—”
“So, have you seen my friend Peter?”
Luke blinked. “You have a friend called Peter?”
“Uh,” said Elliot. “Yes? He’s friends with my friend Myra.”
Luke was scowling now. “I don’t know a Myra.”
“I don’t have time to discuss the long list of things and apparently people you do not know,” said Elliot. “Gotta go, bye!”
Luke looked as though he had more to say. Elliot assumed that Luke had done something super heroic during the library attack. He spun Luke around by his elbow and had his faith justified when the person now facing Luke immediately begin to congratulate him. Elliot slipped away while Luke was still trying to escape congratulations.
Myra had been singled out by another member of the war-training class, who wanted to tell her all about his valor in today’s clash. Peter was actually sitting at a lunch table on his own, looking forlorn, which was sad for Peter but useful for Elliot.
“Peter, you like girls, right?”
“Uh . . . yes?” said Peter, looking very startled by this greeting.
A thought occurred to Elliot, briefly distracting him from his purpose. “Hey, do you like boys as well as girls?”
He knew it was unworthy of him to be so concerned about Serene when he should be thinking about the uprising against their commander. On the other hand, as every terrible day in the otherlands proved, life was short and elves were extremely foxy.
“No! Wait, why do you ask?” Peter asked. “Is this about Luke Sunborn?”
“Maybe,” Elliot said cunningly. “Would you go out with him if it was?”
Peter looked like he was considering it. This was typical of Luke’s life, absolutely typical: now boys who didn’t like boys wanted to be Luke’s boyfriend. On the other hand, Peter was a lot smarter than Dale, and Elliot thought he could talk Luke around on the subject.
“No,” Peter said at length. “I mean . . . well, I mean no.”
“Why don’t you think it over,” Elliot suggested. “Luke has many fine qualities.”
“I really don’t think . . .,” Peter said, and hesitated. “Did Luke say he liked me?”
He sounded equal parts disturbed and flattered.
“I can read Luke like a book,” Elliot told him evasively. “And I read books extremely well. Speaking of which, do you have any instructive pornographic literature?”
Peter looked like he was thinking of drowning himself in his pudding. “Oh my God.”
Again, Elliot noted, not a denial. Just like Luke not denying he liked someone. Once you watched out for what people didn’t say, everything became very clear.
“Great, I need to borrow it.”
“Oh my God. Elliot, don’t you—don’t you have some of your own?”
Elliot blinked. “For recreational purposes, do you mean?”
Peter looked around at the milling crowd. “Kill me,” he said, which was not something Elliot would have said to a riled-up bunch of people with a selection of various weapons.
“It wasn’t necessary for me to have any before now. I have a very vivid imagination,” Elliot reassured him. Peter did not look reassured. “But I need some now,” he continued. “I need to learn how to satisfy a lady. Really quickly. Let’s go get your literature. Can I borrow it right now?”
“Will you leave me alone if I give you some—some, not all—of my educational literature, Elliot?” Peter asked. “Seriously, do you promise not to say anything upsetting to me for like two weeks?”
“Deal. I really think you and Luke should date,” Elliot added. “I think you might be soulmates.”
“Um,” said Peter. “Were you actually in the library when the attack happened?”
Elliot nodded. Peter looked awestruck.
“People are saying that they recognized some of Colonel Whiteleaf’s men!”
If that was true, it was the father, then, trying to get the command for his son.
“Are they?” Elliot asked. “Are they indeed?”
Peter’s pornographic literature turned out to be not very educational or instructive. The women in it were genuinely enjoying themselves, in Elliot’s opinion, about as much as the pictures and statues in the Elven Tavern were genuine elven warriors. Elliot wondered why people liked bad illusions so much more than reality.
It did, however, enlighten Elliot on several key points of mechanics. He dearly wished he had some access to the internet in this land, but this was better than nothing. He looked through them and made some notes in the five minutes every hour he allotted himself between his new task of reading every book in the library.
Commander Woodsinger had not stepped down from her post. People said that the attack on the library had been a mistake, the result of an order given in error, or a band of rogue guards striking out on their own. People said there would not be another attack. Elliot did not believe any of it, and he kept researching.
At one point Luke came and tried to get him to come back to class.
“I won’t,” said Elliot. “Someone attacked this camp. And I remember reading something odd about Colonel Whiteleaf when I was doing further reading on 1,000 Leagues Across a Sea of Blood. We have to know more about Colonel Whiteleaf, if he’s the one who attacked us.”
“The library isn’t where you go to win wars!” said Luke.
“The library is where you go to learn more. By the way, what do you think of Peter?” Elliot asked. “To go out with, I mean?”
“For me to go out with?” Luke asked, and looked badly startled. “I don’t even know who he is!”
Elliot waved a hand. “He’s great. You’d like him!”
Luke began to blush, which was mystifying until he muttered out: “I told you I like Dale Wavechaser.”
“I know, I’ve taken that onboard too,” said Elliot. “You can go out with him whenever. I just thought you might like another option. Peter knows four languages and is probably going to be top in the class in mapmaking!”