“Yes! Joe, what the fuck is going on?”
A lady in the row next to me sent me a hateful look and put an arm around her child. I rolled my eyes. My voice carried farther than a megaphone, but there was no way in hell I was censoring myself on public transportation.
“Gavin will explain himself. I’m not speaking for him.”
Well, that was . . . different.
“Why is he coming out now? What happened?” A thought occurred to me, slicing clean through the mix of nerves and excitement that had welled in my chest for the past two hours. “Is he being forced to do this or is this his choice?”
“Somewhere in the middle. Once he’s off the phone with Spence, I’ll tell him you’re on your way.”
The call ended with as little ceremony as it had begun, and I was left reeling. I had no idea what it meant, but I knew above everything else there was a large chance it wouldn’t end well. And part of me hoped, prayed to the higher power my parents believed in that he wasn’t doing this because we’d parted ways. The very notion that he’d walk into this shitstorm for me made me want to throw myself over him to protect him from the flames. But there was also a smaller part that wished his feelings were that strong, even if I didn’t want him to ruin his career for me—someone who was starting from scratch at a youth center downtown.
I got off the train at the station and found a black Lincoln waiting for me. Goddamn Joe and his fancy shit—he’d hired a car. It was more spacious than I’d expected, but I couldn’t enjoy the luxury. I chewed my nails to the quick and stared at my phone during the drive. It didn’t take long, but even twenty minutes was enough when my guts were twisting into painful knots. A gentle snow began to fall outside, but my turmoil prevented me from enjoying a sight that normally brought me peace.
I’d half expected Joe to meet me in front of the mansion, but my heart swelled when I saw Gavin. Gavin in jeans and a black hoodie with the Barons logo on the front, his blond hair longer than I’d ever seen it and stubble shading his jaw. He was gorgeous. I threw myself out of the car in my rush to get to him.
It occurred to me too late that the driver was watching, and I walked right into Gavin’s personal space to wrap my arms around him. He wasn’t shy about returning the embrace. Strong arms encircled me and squeezed so tight. His lack of regard for the audience was made apparent as he kissed me.
With his large hands digging into me and his tongue in my mouth, everything I’d been craving since Thanksgiving came rushing back. All the missed moments had been replaced by a raw ache for his touch on my skin.
We pulled apart as the Lincoln drove away. I didn’t take my eyes off Gavin, and tilted my forehead heavily against his.
“Why are you doing this?”
He walked backwards towards the house, still carrying me, as if my weight was inconsequential to him. I may as well have been one of the drifting snowflakes.
“Max is outing me. I figured I’d beat him to it, on my own terms, since I already regretted choosing another sixty-million-dollar contract over this big-mouthed kid from Queens who I’m in love with.”
Outrage warred with relief warred with a supernova burst of happiness. We didn’t make it into the house before I kissed him again.
Chapter Nineteen
Gavin
Sex hadn’t been part of the plan for the night, but having Noah in my arms with his lips against my own couldn’t lead to anywhere else. Not after weeks of being unable to touch him.
We wound up in my bed within a minute of getting in the door, and the hours that should have been spent with me pacing or working out until I got sick ended up being enjoyed with Noah pressed against me. Skin to skin, heartbeat to heartbeat, and our bodies connected in every possible way. When the clock chimed to announce it was eight o’clock, the time when the hastily thrown together article was set to go live, I was coming off the high of an orgasm so powerful my toes were still curled and my body was tingling.
“Damn,” Noah breathed, rolling onto his side. “We’re a mess.”
“Figuratively or literally?”
“Both. You came so hard I’m surprised you can still see straight.”
I snorted. “Someone’s feeling himself.”
“After that greeting, I sure as hell am,” he said with a laugh. “Part of me wondered if you were over all this.”
The words caught me wrong and took me out of the warm glow of my contentment. I rolled onto my side so we were facing each other.
“Tell me something.”
Noah’s teasing smirk sobered, and he propped himself up on his hand. “What?”
“What do you think all this is to me?”
“I don’t know. You’ve never been straight with me about it.”
“You mean we’ve never been straight with each other.”
I could see an automatic denial getting ready to pop out of his mouth, but Noah cocked his head. After a moment, he nodded.
“Yeah, that’s fair,” he said. “We let it happen and never talked about it. I know you care about me. I know you want me in your life. And I hope you know the same is true for me even though I left.” A trace of a smile reappeared on his face. “Marcus came by with Jasmine, and he acted like I’d broken your heart into pieces. Dead serious talking about how him hanging out with me was against ‘Bro Code.’”
This was a story I hadn’t heard, and it brought a hoarse laugh bubbling out of my throat. Marcus was one of the most loyal guys I’d ever met, and I could perfectly picture him giving Noah the business about leaving me cold. Except, he hadn’t left me cold. I’d let him go.
“I think they both know I want you here with me, and that I never want you to leave.”
Noah slowly nodded, but otherwise his expression was still. “When you say never, you mean . . .”
“I mean I want to be with you. Be the Lois to your Clark, as Simeon said.”
“I love the fact that you’re Lois.”
“I knew you would.” I kissed the corner of his mouth, and loved how his eyes slid shut at the contact. His little sigh of happiness. This was how it should have been all along. “Seriously, though, I want us to be together, Noah. No fitness models. No mechanics. No paparazzi or media scaring me off and making me doubt us. Just you and me, and our nosy-ass opinionated friends.”
Noah’s mouth twitched, but he kept searching my eyes as if looking for a sign that this wasn’t for real. That I’d change my mind, or I wasn’t one hundred percent sure about what I was saying. There was a time when him not automatically buying into my claim would have pissed me the hell off, but now I wondered if he was being cautious because he was worried about whether he’d be safe with me. Maybe, like Marcus’ ex-girlfriend, wondering if there would come a point when I’d inevitably break his heart.
“I wouldn’t say this if I wasn’t for real,” I said. “I’d have just let you go. I wouldn’t lie to you.”
“Then why did you change your mind? Why now, of all times, did you choose to come out?”