This time is for us to get to know each other on a personal level, and this mission I’m about to discuss with her could fuck it all up. I’m not going to let it happen. No fucking way. If she’s not willing to comply, then I won’t try to convince her. She means too much to me. Whatever decision she makes, I will stand by her, but she needs to hear me out. She needs to understand why The President has asked this of us.
“Baby. Before you go all crazy on my ass, you need to let me explain. Remember these orders came from The President, this is not coming from me.” She doesn't say a damn thing, only edges past me with her horse, her head down. She climbs off of him, ties his reins to a tree, and sits down several feet away from me. Fuck. She’s distracting with her legs spread out in front of her, those boots on, and those fucking shorts that have my cock hard. I’m the biggest asshole to be thinking about fucking her up against a tree out here. Christ.
“Explain then. Tell me why I have to do this. Other than for the love of my country. Which I believe I’ve proven. This is our lives. It’s all Harris and I know. We’ll have nothing after this is over. The Army doesn’t care why you go AWOL. We’ll both be discharged. We’ll lose everything. I’ll have nothing. So you tell me why? Why would I want to do that, Kaleb?” I sit here watching her shake her head in exasperation. She looks defeated. Fuck, it kills me to the point I’m ready to say fuck it. I’ll take someone else. But damn it, I can’t. No matter what, she needs to understand.
I climb off the horse and pull him over to the same tree, securing him tightly. Then I go to her and kneel down directly in front of her, placing my hands on her thighs. Not sexually, but intimately.
“Like I said, these orders came from The President, Jade. He doesn’t want ties to the Army or to him. This man is dangerous. He also has information he needs. Is this request uncommon? Yes. What I do know is, there is no way in hell he would ask someone to give up what they’ve fought their entire life to achieve if it weren’t important for the safety of our country. Besides, do you really think he’d allow you to lose everything?” I sit back on my hunches and remove my hands from her silky skin. That same sullen expression on her face increases.
“If he doesn’t want ties to the Army, then yes, Kaleb, I do lose everything. This is what those strange looks you and Harris were giving each other earlier are about, isn’t it? He knows. You’ve asked him to do it too, haven’t you? What did he say? Is he willing to give it all up?” Taking a deep, long breath, I tell her.
“He is. He doesn’t like it any more than you do. Like I told him, the decision is yours. I’ll support you either way. One thing I didn’t tell him that I need for you to know is, whatever decision you make, it won’t change the way I feel about you.” Instantly, I dread her response. I watch her hackles rise. She recoils back in shock.
“I sure as hell would hope not.” She draws her knees up to her chest.
“Christ, Jade. I apologize. Hell, maybe I need confirmation from you that it doesn’t. Fuck, I don’t know. We finally work this out and decide we're going to give this a shot, and then I drop this on you. You have to know you mean more to me than this mission. You and I have a long way to go to build something strong and beautiful. I want a lifetime. I’m fucking falling for you, Jade. Falling so hard for you that it scares the living shit out of me. I’m not going to lose you over this.”
Her manner changes right before my eyes. I see it before she even has the chance to say it. She’s falling for me too. This is a fucked-up situation we’re in, starting with the way we met and my fucked-up infatuation to make her mine.
“I… I’m scared,” she whispers.
“Scared of what? Me? Us? Your career?” I ask honestly.
“All of it.”
“Jade. I’m not going to push you into making your decision. What I will push you on is us. You should know by now I’m a determined man. I don’t give up on a damn thing. Not when I want something or someone. I want you so fucking bad I can’t think straight at times. I want you in my bed every night. In my arms. I want to know what you want out of life. I want it all. And I want it with you.” Never in my life would I have dreamed I would say that shit to a woman. This indescribable feeling of seeing a future with someone. Like I said, we have a long way to go, but there isn’t a damn thing that will make me stop wanting or needing her. I don’t give two fucks if I sound like a fucking * right now. I’m a man who wants this woman. It’s plain and simple. One thing I do know is, when this mission is over, I’m not taking any more for a while. My first priority belongs to her.
Her features soften, and my fucking heart beats wildly in my chest as she stares out behind me. Her mind has to be racing. Christ, I can see the wheels spinning in her head from here.