“Sounds charming,” I interject with mockery, and when I do, I can feel Declan’s eyes hurling daggers at me, but I don’t engage.
Davina continues to wear her pretentious smile, adding, “The shortbread and jam reception wasn’t all that elegant, but it still makes for good memories.”
“Well, as much as I’d love to hear more about that humble reception of yours, you’ll have to excuse me.”
As I walk away from the both of them, I wonder if the feelings swarming inside me are anything like what Declan feels, because if I could put my mark on him like a dog claiming ownership, I would. I want to lock him up and pretend he never had a life before me.
And then I have to question how friendly they’ve been, because it was only a few weeks ago she was on his arm as his date.
Red heat slithers up my neck, and before I explode, I rush out the doors and into the chill of night. Clouds of vapor escape me with my heavy breathing. Never in my life have I felt threatened and jealous over a man, but then again, never in my life have I been in love. I loved my brother, but in a very different way. I knew he fucked other women—lots of other women, but never did I care. And just to know that this woman has had more time with Declan than I have is enough to ignite this thrashing inside me.
“What are you doing out here?” Declan asks from behind me.
“Did you fuck her?” I seethe quietly so passersby won’t hear.
He takes me by the arm and nearly drags me around the building to the parking lot in the back, pushing me against a random car. He isn’t happy about my question, but I ask it again.
“Did you?”
“Would it make you mad?”
My anger grows.
“Hmm? Answer me.”
“Yes,” I spit in hostility.
He presses his chest against mine, fury roiling behind his eyes when he asks, “Tell me how it makes you feel to think about my dick in another woman’s *.”
In a sudden flash, I slap him hard across the face, but he barely flinches.
“Go ahead. Hit me again.”
“Go to hell.”
“That outrage you feel,” he says through gritted teeth. “That rage mixed with passion and jealousy could never amount to what you made me feel. You let me fuck you, fall in love with you, all the while knowing you were fucking your husband. And then I find out you were also letting your brother fuck you. And you have the nerve to question me!” He takes a pause, pinching his eyes closed before opening them again and continuing. “Do I need to remind you of all the fucked up ways you destroyed me?”
“No.”
“I didn’t think so. And to answer your question, no, I’ve never fucked her. Never wanted to.”
“She was your date.”
“Yes,” he responds. “She was. Like I told you, she’s an old friend. Our families were close and we grew up together. She’s attended many events with me in the past so I didn’t have to go with random women. But now I have you.”
Guilt eclipses jealousy.
“I’m sorry.”
“There should be no doubt in that heart of yours that you belong to me. Everyone in that room knows it. My cum is all over your skin, and yet you feel threatened by another woman.”
“You just . . .”
“You want to know my past? Because it isn’t that interesting. I’ve never been in love. Not once. I’ve dated less than five women in my life, but I never loved any of them. Did I fuck them? Yes. Have I fucked others? Yes, but not many. Casual sex isn’t really my thing. I’ve spent my life working hard, trying to live up to my father’s expectations. Work was always my main focus. And then there was you. You came into my life and turned everything upside down.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I admit. “I hate that you’ve seen so many of my weaknesses. I love you, there’s no question, but I don’t know how to do this the right way.”
“You don’t fool me. You’re the strongest woman I know.” He cups my face in his hands, dips his head down to my level, and looks deeply into my eyes, adding, “But you’re weak too, and when you let me see that part of you, it only makes me love you more. You and I have been through hell and back, and this isn’t going to be easy for either one of us.”
I slip my arms around his waist and rest my head against his chest.
Declan presses his lips to my head in a tender kiss. “You have nothing to worry about, you hear me?”
“Yes.”
“Come on,” he says. “Let’s go home.”
“We can go back in.”
“I’ve had enough socializing for one night. Let’s get out of here.”
The drive back to the apartment is a short one, and when we walk through the door, I kick off my heels. Declan gets the fireplace going and we simply hold each other as we lie on the couch. We settle into the silence and darkness, too lazy to slip out of our formalwear. I soak in the heat from his body while he runs his fingertips along my spine.
After a while, Declan’s phone rings. I’m edging on sleep when he takes the call.