The image of him forcing himself on me didn’t send as many rescue flares off as I thought. He’d entered me, but he hadn’t fucked me. If someone had that much willpower—to be inside a woman and not move or seek a release—then threats like the one he’d just given weren’t nearly as scary because he’d already revealed he had morals he refused to break.
He hung his head, his shoulders weary under immense pressure. “Look, I’m sorry for kissing you. I took advantage again. It won’t happen a third time.”
My voice that’d been silent now blurted with no censorship. “You didn’t—”
His eyes snapped to mine.
I withered beneath his stare, swallowing before continuing. “You didn’t take advantage. I—” I didn’t have the courage to talk about feelings and strange desires, but I had to force myself if I stood any chance at claiming normalness. “I like kissing you.”
My cheeks impersonated a burning building as Elder made a weird grunt as if he’d been told everything he believed was a lie.
Once again that signature awkwardness we seemed to dance around returned—a nasty third wheel. He moved toward me slowly, stiffly, keeping his body under strict control. “You’re playing a dangerous game, Pim.”
I sucked in a breath at the blazing desire on his face.
“You should’ve left when you had the chance.”
I turned soft while he glittered hard. I turned meek while he glared power.
I turned breathless. “The moment you found me, I didn’t stand a chance.”
His lips turned down, his eyes becoming sad. “I hate that that’s true. For both of us.”
We stared without words until he murmured, “Do you remember the pickpocketing lesson? How I taught you to creep up and steal my wallet?”
Did I remember? Of course, I remembered. How could I forget the thrill at being so close to him—of inserting my hand against his ass and pinching his money? How could I forget the joy of playing with him?
“I remember.”
“Good.”
I didn’t like the gleam in his gaze.
“Put what you learned into practice. Steal me something of value and bring it to me. You don’t want to accept this yacht? Don’t want to accept what’s rightfully yours? Well, too bad. You still owe me for other things, so consider this task the first instalment.”
“Instalment for what?” I cocked my head, schooling myself not to stare at how regal he looked. How sharp jawbones and elegant cheekbones made him so handsome but so untouchable.
“Instalment for your room and board, of course.” He gave a half smile, even though it shimmered with challenge rather than amusement. “Hunt my staff, Pimlico. Patrol my warehouse. Pick your victim. Steal something for me before I finish my meeting. Otherwise, I’ll make the task a lot harder.”
“I don’t steal.”
He chuckled. “Oh, yes you do.” He leaned forward, his cheek brushing mine as he murmured, “I should know. You’ve stolen more from me than anyone.”
My blood turned into confectionary, making me shiver from a sugar rush knowing, in some small measure, that I had gotten to him the way he’d gotten to me. “I have?”
What did I steal?
Tell me.
He nodded. “I hate it.”
“Why?”
“If you’re lucky, you’ll never find out.” He pressed a swift kiss to my cheek then pulled away. “If you’re unlucky, you’ll learn why and then all this will seem so trivial.”
“Trivial? How?”
“You and your damn questions.” He scowled. “You know? I almost miss your silence.”
Was that a compliment or a complaint?
Before I could figure it out, Elder commanded, “Steal something, Pim. Show me you can steal from others and not just from me. You have two hours.”
He left before I could refuse.
Chapter Nine
______________________________
Elder
I COULDN’T CONCENTRATE.
During the entire meeting, all I could think about was Pim.
About that kiss.
About that fight.
About every little thing about her.
Her hair.
Her smell.
Her body.
Her smile, for Christ’s sake.
I hated it.
I hated that she’d not only stolen my thoughts and infected them with all things her but she’d also stolen my willpower; my never ceasing authority over the one thing that I could never win.
Charlton passed around another folder with the next four projects in the works that would take the design team almost a year to render, scale, and create exclusive naval creations.
I ought to be focused on mathematical equations, price approximates, and building overheads. But all I could think about was how pissed off I was that Pim had refused her gift.
That yacht out there was hers.
It had always been hers.
The moment it was completed, I’d hand her the keys, drop it into the bay, and it was up to her to do whatever she damn well liked. She didn’t want it? Fine. It could float anchorless around the ocean with no purpose or home—just like her.
My hands balled.
Just like her.
She had no purpose or home.
Just like me.
Wait, I did have a purpose—a long-standing promise to do to those what had been done to me. And my home was the Phantom.
But you can never go back to your real home, can you?
I shut that thought up immediately.
I had enough on my mind with Pim let alone the past making an appearance.
While the rest of the staff shot ideas about wood blends and chandelier styles, I subtly rearranged three pencils on my notepad.
Three horizontal.
Three vertical.
Three into a triangle.
Three pressed together.
Three far apart.
Always three.
While I kept my hands busy, my thoughts deliberated over whether she’d obey me. Would she steal for me? Or would her nerves prevent her?
Selix reached out and stole the three pencils, giving me a curt look.
I wanted to pummel him for taking them, but with gritted teeth, I nodded in acknowledgment. He knew what it meant when I started twitching. He knew as well as I did that I needed a joint and to be back on the open seas where society pressure, peer expectation, and every nasty memory couldn’t find me.
Checking my watch, I suffocated my groan to find only an hour had gone by. A long, interminable hour.
Having Selix’s presence beside me was the watchdog I needed to keep myself in check. He wasn’t there for protection but to be the barometer to see how far I could fall before I couldn’t climb back up.
However, with him here, it meant Pim was out there…on her own.
She could leave.
She should leave.
I’d given her that freedom deliberately.
I’d wanted to send her home, and she’d refused. Alone down there, faceless and free, she’d have every opportunity to walk out the front door and never return.
I wouldn’t know which way she’d gone.
I’d never be able to find her.
It fucking hurt to think I might never see her again, while at the same time, relief tried to claw inside. I wanted her gone but didn’t. I wanted her close but feared it.
I was a goddamn mess.
Charlton droned on about monthly projections, shipments of walnut and marble, and housekeeping of the warehouse.
I forced myself to pay attention. To give my chaotic brain something to latch onto.
Facts and figures slowly replaced slaves and slow romances, drawing me back into a world I could conquer and control.
Chapter Ten
______________________________
Pim