“Good. It’s been made clear to me that sometimes in an effort to be polite, I might not be as transparent as I think I am, and I know that at this stage of our lives, there is enough to annoy us without having to spend a moment worrying about whether we have made the connections we hoped we would.”
This feels like perhaps Shawn has been sharing some of his truths with her as well, most likely including my nervousness at meeting her, and that feels really good. “Thank you for that. You’re right, there is plenty to navigate around, and open communication makes things so much easier!”
“Well, then, we will make it our ongoing habit. Shall we go see what those rascals are up to out there?”
“Yes. And, Cheryl? Thank you for Shawn. He is a rare and extraordinary man.”
“Yes, he is. Thank you for seeing that and making him a happy man. Happy is harder than extraordinary.” And she takes my hand and smiles, and we head back to the table.
? ? ?
Oh, sweetie, I’m so happy for you. What a wonderful way to start off with them,” Teresa says, handing me a coffee.
“It was amazing. They were just so warm and welcoming, they made me feel totally comfortable.”
“As well they should!”
“So, I’m ready for the lecture. Let’s get it over with, lay it on me.”
“No lecture. Just some truth.”
“Bring it.” I’ve been readying myself for this all week. Teresa has some big plan to get Lynne and me back together. But I’ve been practicing having a spine these days, and I’ve come to the conclusion that while I don’t want to dismiss the idea of Lynne and I staying friends out of hand, I am strong enough to let it go if she can’t be supportive of my life and my love. Not just tolerant; actively supportive. Not fake and digging at me, but acknowledging the person I have become.
“Good. Think back to high school. What were the things you liked most about Lynne?”
I think about this for a minute, remembering the Lynne I knew back then. “She was fierce. She was fearless. She was a natural leader. She was funny, when she wanted to be. She’d be the first person to tell you privately that your outfit was horrible, but if some bitch in the hallway made a comment about it, she’d take her out with one of her quick, cutting remarks. She always had your back.”
“True enough! What else?”
“She was the first person who showed up at my house after my surgery to decorate my cast.”
“I was in church. But the rhinestones were my idea!”
“I know.”
“Anything else?”
I think back. “It always felt like she was real with us. Like she was herself with us. She was always Miss Perfect with everyone else, but remember some of our slumber parties? When she would sing and dance along to all the Madonna videos? It was like when we were together she could let her hair down and be silly and not worry about how it might look.”
“I remember that too.”
“T, I just don’t know that she still has that girl in her. I think the other one has taken over completely.”
“And if she has?”
“Then I don’t know that it’s worth it to try. Maybe if we didn’t have the Shawn thing hanging over our heads, but this is a serious thing. We really love each other and unless there is some shoe I can’t see that is going to drop, this might be it, I mean really it. What do we do with that?”
“What if she agreed to let the Shawn thing go?”
“I don’t know, I really don’t. She said she’d be good about it before, and look what happened! It would have been easier if she’d just say that it’s him or her, which is clearly what she thinks deep down. Then it could just be over.”
“What if she meant it this time?”
“Did you talk to her?”
“I did.”
“What did she say?”
The doorbell rings.
“Teresa! You didn’t.”
She shrugs. “We’re getting down to business.” She gets up to answer the door. I hear them greet each other, and Lynne say that yes, she’d love coffee, and then she walks into the kitchen and sees me. But instead of the daggers I’m expecting, the lower half of her face crumples and she comes over and throws her arms around me.
“I’m so, so sorry, I was horrible, you were right, I was being a major bitch.”
She sounds so sincere, and I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve seen Lynne cry, and it makes me cry too.
“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to say what I said.”
“No, you were right. You were really right. I don’t even know what I was doing.”
“You’re hurt and confused.”
Teresa comes over and grabs us both in her soft arms. “All right now, ladies, we are going to sit down and get it all out, all of it. You are going to tell each other the truth the way we used to. Eloise, you are going to go first and Lynne is going to listen and not respond or react or interject until you have told her everything that is in your heart. And then Lynne will have her turn. Neither of you are going to lie or omit or gloss over, and you are both going to agree to really hear the other person. We never had secrets, the three of us, we never held anything back, and it’s what made us strong and kept us together. So we are going to say everything that scares us, and then figure out how to move past it. Deal? Because I am not going to play monkey in the middle for one more day with you.”
I look at Lynne, my eyebrows raised in query. She meets my eyes and nods.
“Okay,” we say, and we follow Teresa to the couch.