“How’d it go?” she asks, worry clear in her voice. The whole situation made her really sad and uncomfortable when she heard about it.
“Okay, I guess. For now. We are going to move forward as respectfully as we can and take it a bit easy for a while. But I dunno, T, she sort of implied that she doesn’t really see the relationship being successful, so she’s just going to kind of ignore it till we break up. So she’s rooting for us to fail, which makes me sad. I love him, Teresa, he feels like home to me, and I know I can’t say that to Lynne, not right now, but I’m not seeing any red flags. I don’t know if we’ll be together forever, but I hate to think that she’s always going to be against us.”
“Just give her time to get used to the idea. Imagine if the situation had been reversed. I mean, Eloise, he wasn’t her crush or her short-term boyfriend, he was her husband, they took vows. It might not have worked for either of them, and she might have been the one to leave, but damn. That has got to be a lot. It’s hard enough when your ex dates anyone, but one of your oldest, dearest friends? Surely you get her side of things, even if she isn’t expressing them terribly well.”
“I know, I know, I keep trying to do that, otherwise I might say some stuff I couldn’t take back.”
“It’s still really fresh. Give it a few weeks to let the initial dust settle, and know that I’ll have your back when you aren’t around. But be aware, be careful. Because there are only two outcomes here: either she is right and he isn’t as amazing as you think, or you are, and he is perfect. If she is right, you are going to be devastated. And if you are, she will have to face the fact that maybe the failure of her marriage was more on her than on him. That’s shitty all the way around.”
She’s right, and I hadn’t thought of it that way.
“Just you be careful, of yourself and of her. And I’ll pick up whatever pieces anyone loses along the way.”
“Thanks, T, that means the world to me, and I know it would to Lynne as well.”
“In the meantime, maybe you and Shawn and Gio and I can go out one night? I want to meet him, and I’m falling behind on some of the spicing-up-my-marriage stuff. Let’s do some fun, silly, romantic thing—go to Geja’s for fondue or something.”
“Perfect. I’ll talk to Shawn later and shoot you some dates; we’ll get it on the books. I really think you’ll like him.”
“Any man who can make you as happy as you have been lately, I think I’ll like him too. Even if Lynne thinks he’s the devil in a man suit.”
We laugh, and I realize that Teresa makes me feel so much better, about me, about Shawn and me. I know that I’ll always have Teresa, and it makes me sad to think that, out of sheer laziness and stupid inconvenience, I let her be gone from my life for so many years.
? ? ?
I’m taking Simca on an extra-long early walk today, and then dropping her off at my mom’s, since I’ll be with Ian at the America’s Junior SuperChef auditions from seven thirty till God knows when, and I hate to leave her alone for so long. I’m rarely up at the ungodly hour of five thirty, but when Ian suggested in the most politic way that he would be much less nervous with me chaperoning him to the auditions instead of his parents, I couldn’t very well say no. I think Shelby and Brad were a little bit hurt, but they would never show it, and just made me promise to text updates throughout the day.
“How is my sweet grandpup?” My mom has answered the door in her robe, her mass of curls piled on top of her head in a loose bun.
“She’s excited to spend the day with you.”
“Can you come in and get warm for a minute?”
“Just a minute,” I say. The sky is just starting to lighten, and I still have to go pick up Ian and get downtown to the hotel where the auditions are happening.
“How is Shawn? We had such a lovely time with him last week.”
Shawn came to family dinner last week and he fortified his good standing with a night full of family photo albums and shared stories, and his grandmother’s recipe for homemade chocolate sour cream Bundt cake. It was a really fun and easy night, and I love how much he is himself with them, not trying hard or putting on a show, just comfortable in his own skin and letting them get to know him.
“He’s good. He had a great time as well.”
“We really like the two of you together. It seems like a natural fit.”
“Thank you. It feels that way to us too.”
“And Lynne is working through things?”
I told Mom about the whole debacle and my fears after Lynne and I talked the other day.
“I don’t know. I think only time will tell. In the meantime, I can’t let her feelings diminish my own, you know?”
“I do. For what it’s worth, someone who really cares for you wants your happiness more than they want their own comfort in situations like this, so hopefully Lynne will come around once the shock wears off.”
“Yeah, but still, I do get where she is coming from. It isn’t like they just dated a little, they were married. That’s a lot.” Ever since I talked to Teresa I do keep coming back to that. Trying to keep myself mindful of how much that means.
“Did you ever think that some of this is fear? That by seeing her through his eyes you might think less of her? Lynne has many fine qualities, and I’ve always believed her to be a good person and she has been a good friend to you. But she’s always been a little on the vain side, putting forward a very controlled and particular face and image. It’s probably why she’s so great at her job. But you have access to sides of her that she has no control over, that she can’t spin, and that must worry her.”
“I never thought of that.”
“I’m sure you girls will work it all out.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I check my watch. “Gotta go.”
“You have a great day and tell Ian that we’re all pulling for him.”