Tyson never had a girlfriend, but he did have girls. Everyone around school knew his reputation, and I hated when I heard him whispered about through the halls. I’d only seen him with a girl one time, and it was by accident at a party.
Still, seeing him pin some chick’s arms to the wall above her head while he plunged his tongue down her throat was enough for me. My heart had been broken since, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew girls wanted him. They wanted his dark looks and tall, muscular frame. They wanted him for sex, and he gave them exactly what they wanted.
It sickened me to think of him with other girls. I wondered if he let them touch him or if he pinned all their arms above their heads. It left a dark shadow on my soul every time the memory of that night at the party entered my mind, but thankfully, I’d never ran into something so heartbreaking again. Even if I knew it was happening every time he went out with his boys for the night.
It didn’t matter, though. Let him keep pretending nothing was between us. Let him act the part of the unattached playboy for a little longer. Soon, I’d be on a plane to New York, and I could grieve his loss then, knowing it would be a while before I saw him again.
Going to school and leaving it all behind was something I had to do. I couldn’t stay in Charleston and follow Tyson around like a lovesick puppy. I needed to spread my wings. Expand my mind. I needed to get away from everything that was holding me back from life and let loose. And I needed to do it without Tyson watching my every move. Without Tyson blocking every guy who looked my way.
He didn’t want to admit his feelings for me. He wanted to pretend he didn’t want me while making sure no one else could have me. That wasn’t going to be the case once I was in the Big Apple. I was going to flirt and date. I was going to live the life I’d missed while I spent my time dwelling over Tyson.
It was going to be great.
“I assure you I won’t get myself killed. Plus, Amber’s going to New York, too. We’ll stick together.”
Amber Goodwin had been my best friend since sixth grade. She was also the only person in the world who knew how deep my love for Tyson ran. Over the years, we would have sleepovers where we’d spill our hearts about the loves of our lives. Hers was different every few months, but mine was always Tyson.
We were total opposites. Where I was blond with blue eyes, Amber was a brunette with brown eyes. She was taller than I was and had an amazing extension in dance class, but while she loved dancing, her passion was science. She was the smartest person I knew, next to my dad, and I’d always known she was going to go amazing places in her life.
Growing up, we did everything together. From Barbies to boys—failed makeup attempts to new fads—we were inseparable, and the thought of ending up in two different states for college wasn’t something we ever discussed.
We’d received our acceptance letters on the same day—mine to Julliard and hers to Columbia University. After years of taking ballet together, we were moving into the world together. I wouldn’t want to share such an amazing adventure with any other person.
It worked out since Columbia and Julliard were only twenty minutes apart. We wouldn’t be alone in a big city since we’d have each other.
“Oh my God, Nicole. She’s worse off than you are,” he scoffed. “You can still change schools. There’s time. You’re staying here. Here, in this house, where I know you’ll be safe. Here, where I can—”
He bit off his words.
“Where you can what, Tyson? Where you can hound me and every guy who even looks my way? Where you can watch me like a hawk but never lay a finger on me?”
My heart was drilling into my ribs, slamming into the bone so hard it hurt.
“I have needs, too, Tyson. I’m so sick of feeling alone all the time.”
He huffed and shook his head. “You’ve never been alone.”
I noticed he didn’t mention my needs. He knew exactly what I was talking about.
We’d never spoken so freely before. Mostly because I’d always been kind of shy and quiet, but also because I had a deep fear of pushing Tyson away.
Well, I didn’t need to worry about that so much now because I was the one walking away. I was the one leaving, and even though he was never going to admit it, he hated it.
“I’ll tell you what,” I started. “I’ll stay. I’ll transfer schools and start next semester at some local university but only on one condition.”
His head popped up, his black eyes glittering with distrust. “What condition?”
I swallowed my nerves, the emotions choking me so hard I felt like I was going to gag. “Tell me how you feel about me. Tell me you want me and I’ll stay.”
His dark eyes widened, and his sharp inhale cut through the stillness around us. Everything went silent, and the sound of the clock on my wall at our side blasted through the room like it was in speaker.
I held my breath as I waited for him to say the words I’d always longed to hear, but instead, his lips crept up in a smug grin, and he started to laugh.
“This is stupid,” he said, leaning his back against the door and crossing his arms. “You know I care about you. You’re like a little sister.”
The air rushed from my lungs as if I’d been punched in the ribs. His words burned in my chest, leaving my heart feeling hollow and my stomach feeling nauseated. He’d never referred to me as his sister. Actually, it was kind of disgusting, considering how things had been between us over the years.
The secret glances.
The underlying emotions we dared not speak of.
His words were an insult to the feelings I’d spent the last seven years developing, and I wasn’t going to let him leave my room until he acknowledged his real feelings for me. Until he took back the words that had hurt me so badly.
I moved closer, and he watched me beneath long, black lashes.
I held my hand out to touch his arm, and his body went tense.
“Nicole,” he warned.
“Shhh. Let me,” I said, inching my hand even closer. “You know me, Tyson. You know I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
His eyes connected with mine, his tense jaw making the muscles pop in his cheeks.
And then I was touching him, and he wasn’t stopping me. My fingers looked pale against his dark skin when I pressed my hand to his arm. His hard muscle jerked beneath my touch, and I heard his deep inhale.
“I’m nothing like your sister. Take it back,” I said, letting my fingers work themselves cautiously up his inked sleeve.
Courage I’d never had before raged through me. I was leaving for a while. I wouldn’t have to see his face for a bit.
What was there to lose?
“Nicole,” he growled in warning.
“Yes, Tyson?” My words were slathered in innocence.
I didn’t stop.
The pads of my fingertips roamed up his arm until my hand was resting against his chest. His breathing accelerated, his chest moving up and down with his breaths. He was so hot against my palm. Hot and hard, and I wanted to remove the fabric between his skin and mine and feel all of him.