She ignored my spa question. “Your father called. He says it’s been nearly two weeks since he’s heard from you.”
“Yeah, I know. I need to call him. I’ve just have been so busy at work. We got a brand-new shipment in for the fall. Shannon and I have been killing ourselves trying to get it all set up. You should come by, Mom. We have tons of stuff I know you’d love.”
She looked up at me like I’d lost my mind. Her newspaper rattled to the table.
“Honey, no offense, but you know I don’t shop at those kinds of places. I wish you’d quit that awful job, or at least consider working somewhere more appropriate. Your grandfather’s probably turning in his grave at the thought of his angel working countless hours. You weren’t bred for that, Lilly.” She blew on her espresso, sending the scent of vanilla my way.
“I know, Mom, but I enjoy it there. Mrs. Franklin’s talking about making me area manager over all three stores. I hope I get the job.”
“If we’re being honest with each other, I hope you get fired from that pitiful place.” She sniffed.
A mocha latte was placed in front of me. Going to the same café almost every day had its benefits. They always knew what I wanted. I walked in, and they got it ready for me.
“Here you go, Lilly. Having a good day?” Joey smirked at me.
He was the only male worker at Mirabelle’s and a joker to boot.
“Oh yeah, today’s been a fabulous day. It’s getting better, too,” I said, sarcastically.
It was an inside joke between the people that work at the café and me. Since Mirabelle’s had always been my meeting place with Mom, they’d figured out how well our little meeting was going by how many lattes I ordered. One latte usually meant it was a pleasant conversation, quick and to the point. Two lattes meant things didn’t go so well. Three meant I was probably about three minutes away from pulling my hair out and hanging my mother by a makeshift napkin noose.
“Mom!” I said in a hushed tone after Joey left the table. “Why would you say that? You hope I get fired? I can’t believe you’d wish bad things on me like that. I have to have that job for sanity purposes. I’m so sorry that I refuse to live like you, but that’s no reason for you to say mean things to me.”
I rolled my eyes, nursing my latte and wishing I had told her I couldn’t get out of work.
Mom continued on and on about me not needing to work. I tuned her out. It was always about money with her. Normal families argued because the children constantly asked the parents for money. In my case, we argued because I refused to blow it.
There have been a few times when expensive name brand handbags and shoes would mysteriously show up at my door—brand names I couldn’t even pronounce. Normal people didn’t wear twelve-hundred-dollar shoes. Needless to say, Shannon had a pretty impressive closet.
As I continued to tune my mom out, I noticed a cute couple at a corner table. They were gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes. Their elbows were rested on the table for balance as they each leaned in to get closer to the other. It was adorable to watch as he smiled at her and softly rubbed her hand. Her cheeks were turning pink as he whispered sweet nothings to her from across the table.
I smiled secretly to myself at the love story that was unfolding in front of me. Their love for each other was evident. It was written in their smiles and seeped out of their eyes. I couldn’t look away. I hated myself for being a crazy, romance stalker, but the longing that crashed over me was paralyzing.
“Lilly! What’s gotten into you? Are you even listening to me?”
I snapped my attention back to my mom.
“Of course I’m listening. I have a lot on my mind right now.”
“Sweetie, you know you can talk to me about anything. Go ahead, exactly what’s bothering you?”
The couple in the corner caught my attention once more. “Mom, did you love Dad?”
She straightened her body as if reflecting the awkward question with her chest. “I loved your father very much. Unfortunately, my love wasn’t enough for the both of us. Why do you ask such a strange question?”
“No reason,” I said. “Just curious what it felt like.”
She looked at me sadly as she proceeded to pat my hand in an attempt to be motherly.
“Okay, enough with this nonsense. Let’s do something fun. Let’s go shopping! We can buy whatever you want, anything that’ll make you happy. Just tell me what it is and I’ll make sure you get it.”
Growing up, anytime some skinny girl at school would laugh at me or we had a school dance that I never had a date to—Mom was always the first one to blow it off as no big deal. She’d buy something fun and after a while, I’d get over it. It was her way. The only way she knew how to show affection was to buy things. Instead of the sweet words and motherly hugs, I got gifts.
“Money can’t buy everything, Mom,” I said, as I looked back to the cute couple now making out in their little corner.
Mom looked at them, too. She knew right away what I meant. “Are you lonely, sweetie? Because I’ll be the first to tell you that you do not need a man to make you happy. Trust me. I had one for twenty years, and I was miserable.” She laughed at her little joke.
I smiled at her, and then gave a forced laugh. “Just forget it, Mom. Let’s go shopping. I could use a few new shirts and a pair of shoes,” I said, hoping she would forget what she had just witnessed.
I hated shopping for clothes. Trying to find something decent to fit me was my idea of hell. I’d gladly go through hell if it meant my mom would forget the conversation we just had. The last thing I wanted was her trying any stupid matchmaking schemes with a bunch of idiot men who’d rather be celibate than touch me. Of course, it worked.
I listened as she went over all the stores she wanted to visit and the things she wanted to buy. I followed her out of the café, barely paying attention.
Today wasn’t my day. All the mushy love thoughts and the “no one wants me” whining was starting to get on my nerves. Aunt Flo was definitely knocking at my door, and she brought the bitch triplets P, M, and S with her.
I stood in the first store we went to and daydreamed of a hot bubble bath, candles, and Christina Perri on low volume. All this shopping for expensive crap that would never fit, when all I really wanted was a nice bath and a naughty threesome with Ben & Jerry’s. So much for that idea!
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PROLOGUE
Tyson Payne, age 12
THE MOTEL WE were living in let us pay by the week and was the nicest place we’d ever stayed. Sure, there were still bugs and rotting shag carpeting, but at least the towels and sheets were clean-ish, and the place didn’t smell like puke and old cheese.
We’d been there two weeks, which was a record for us, and in all that time, I’d only heard gunshots once. Most nights, I didn’t sleep, but at this motel, I knew I could since the door even had a lock that worked.