He needed to be untouchable, in case my mind decided to finally heal. In case my white knight became a pansy and ran in the opposite direction of my inner fight. In case my brain was finally released from its hellish prison.
“You ladies have a nice afternoon,” he said before he turned to leave the store, happy with the outcome of his visit.
It was then, and only then, I turned away from my task and took another look at him.
His back muscles flexed with his stride, and when he reached up to put his shades back on, I could see the intricate network of veins bubbling from his tan, muscled arms.
He turned back and grinned at Lilly, the tilt of his luscious lips sending another wave of chills across my flesh, and then he was gone. The bell above the door chimed with his exit, and finally, I was able to breathe again.
BY THE TIME SATURDAY NIGHT CAME, and we were getting ready for Lilly’s birthday party at her mother’s house, I still hadn’t gotten the guy who came into the store out of my mind. I hoped I would have, but it seemed I went to sleep every night with his grin and dimples playing on repeat.
It was sickening.
Thinking of a total stranger that way literally nauseated me, but I couldn’t shut it off.
I tried everything to get out of going to Lilly’s birthday party for several reasons. The main reason being I was apparently a terrible friend since I was even considering skipping her party, but also because I didn’t want to see Matt, her date; the guy who branded himself on my memory without even speaking to me.
Pathetic.
Of course, there was also the prospect of spending the night with her mom’s rich friends. It was next to impossible to be comfortable around those people. They had a tendency to look me over like I was a piece of trailer park trash waiting to be tossed.
Our other friends would be there as buffers, but nothing was worse than old hags dripping in diamonds looking me up and down in disgust because I was financially beneath them or, as I had heard one say once before, “A little too curvy for my own good.”
Whatever the hell that meant.
I was fat.
Get over it.
I tried not to think about that remark or the weight I seemed to be gaining on a weekly basis no matter how much I watched what I was eating. If I even looked at something fattening, I gained a pound, and I looked a lot. Since I refused to be weak for anybody, food was my weakness.
I was in the middle of checking out my thickening waistline in the mirror in the living room when the doorbell rang. My breath hitched, and I waited quietly in hopes that Lilly would come out of her room thinking I was still in the shower and answer the door.
I wasn’t that lucky.
Even though it was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, I strode across the room to the door and pulled it open with a tight smile that made my cheeks ache.
Matt was standing there, leaning his shoulder against the doorframe with a knowing grin on his thick lips. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew he was handsome. He was aware of what his presence did to women. He relished in it, enjoying their looks and shivers and bathing in their attention like the filthy man he was.
His suit looked expensive, and his dark hair was carelessly tousled into the perfect amount of accidental sex appeal.
God, he looked tasty.
Like chocolate and caramel and all things crave-worthy.
I bet he tasted as succulent as he looked.
Not good for you at all, but magically delicious.
The kind of delicious that caused weight gain and diabetes. Except instead of doing bad things to my body, he was making all my senses go into overdrive. My heart rate went up, ripping into my ribs until I felt its beat vibrating my entire center.
He looked around me, not even paying me a bit of attention, yet he had the nerve to say, “Hey, gorgeous. Is your girl Lilly here?”
Gorgeous.
Yeah, right.
How would he know what the hell I looked like, considering he had never really looked at me?
I didn’t even attempt to respond to his rehearsed flattery.
“What’s your name again?” I asked, even though I already knew his name.
I felt like he needed a knockdown off his high horse, and I could tell by the widening of his eyes that he wasn’t accustomed to being unmemorable.
He chuckled, the sound sending yet another wave of vibrations across me. I found myself shaking as if a cold breeze slid over my skin.
Icy.
Shocking my system with shivers.
“My name’s Matthew, sweetheart.”
“I’m not your sweetheart,” I deadpanned.
His grin lifted, the dimple punching me in the gut and pushing the oxygen from my lungs. “Noted.” He chuckled.
The door creaked when I tugged it open all the way and made space for him to come inside.
A night with him at Lilly’s mom’s house, which would be full of rich, snobby people, meant I was sure to have the most uncomfortable night of my life.
“Lilly! Matt’s here!” I called through our small apartment.
Thankfully, she appeared in the living room within seconds, looking just as beautiful as usual. Her makeup was perfection, and her hair curled just so. She was breathtaking and clueless to her beauty.
Matt’s eyes lit up when Lilly came into the room, and I was happy to see him so engrossed in her. As long as he was interested in Lilly, I could never be interested in him.
He was off limits and far away from me.
Exactly how I liked my men.
TWO
MATTHEW ELLIS
CHUBBY WOMEN SUCKED DICK like they were starving. At least that was what my friend Daniel told me. He was a complete asshole, but he was hilarious about it.
All jokes aside, though. He’d once dated a heavy girl, and I’d never seen him so content. He said the sex was incredible because plump girls were more willing to satisfy. He said their low self-esteem made them grateful for anything they could get.
Basically, from what he was saying, overweight women were low-maintenance fucks.
Always giving.
Never worried about receiving, which sounded like the ideal situation for a guy like me.
It was fucked up to even consider a woman that way, but I craved the simplicity of that kind of arrangement.
My usual hunting game exhausted me. Lately, the women I’ve found were hard to please and egotistical as fuck. Since I myself tended to be a bit on the self-centered side, it never played out well. Two selfish people trying to enjoy a night of sex was a bad state—one where neither walked away completely satisfied.
I couldn’t remember the last time I left a woman’s bed impressed. A night of being treated like a chunky girl’s tasty treat was exactly what I needed, and something about Lilly Sheffield told me once I went fat, I’d never go back.
She had good blowjob lips—thick and cushioned, begging to be probed—and while I wasn’t really into chunky girls, even I had to admit her ass was sweet and round. She looked capable of handling a hard fuck, and I was ready and willing to test that theory out.