I nodded, touching my heated lips with the tips of my fingers.
He slipped his fingers in mine on the way back to Franklin’s to get my car, and I didn’t pull away. It wasn’t as alarming as I had always imagined it to be, and even though I knew Matthew wasn’t a plethora of morality, something about him made me begin to trust him.
The only problem was … now I wasn’t sure I could trust myself.
ELEVEN
MATTHEW
I HAD THREE BOOTY CALLS IN TWO DAYS.
Getting fucked was not an issue for me. But I didn’t respond to any of the calls because those women weren’t what I wanted.
I wanted her.
I hadn’t been a one-woman man in years. I wasn’t one now, but I couldn’t focus on any other women, and I knew it was because I had my sights set on Shannon. Until I had her, no one else mattered.
The funny thing was, most of the time when I was with her, sex didn’t even cross my mind. We had such a great time talking and laughing. I enjoyed her company. Nothing more. Nothing less.
If I were prone to having lady friends, Shannon would have been my best one, but since I knew being friends with women never turned out well, I had to do the next best thing.
Fuck her.
That was my goal.
The reason I pursued her in the first place.
Then the kiss happened, and my motives shifted.
I was shattered, and I found myself getting lost in her taste, celebrating the moment she opened for me so sweetly. Knowing how rare her trust was. Not because she told me it was rare, but because regardless of how shuttered she was, I could see right through her. It was as if her body and mind spoke to me, telling me things that were supposed to be hidden inside her.
By the time we made it back to her car, my mind was flying through all scenarios. I was thinking of everything and not just having sex with her. I was thinking about her eyes and lips. The soft gasp that rushed over my lips when I deepened the kiss.
She was inexperienced. I could feel that in her kiss, and while it should have been a turn-off, I wanted to explore her more. I wanted to open her up and show her all the things her body was capable of—all the things I could make her feel physically and mentally. Yet at the same time, I feared being the man to introduce those things to her.
What if she became attached?
Shannon was a nice girl, and one day, some lucky bastard would have the balls to keep her, but I wasn’t in the business of keeping or being kept. I wasn’t sure I ever would be, but I knew if I were, she would be just the type I’d want.
She pulled her keys out and turned to face me. The smile in her eyes was different, teasing in a way.
“Well, that was fun,” she said. “I like pizza on a swing better than steak at a five-star.”
I laughed.
“One of these days, I’m going to take you to a nice place and feed you. I’ll show you the night of your life.” I grinned, my cheeks feeling sore from so much smiling.
She looked away and swallowed. “You already did that.”
A kiss.
A single kiss and she was content.
Most women wanted it all from me.
Money.
Gifts.
Vacations.
I lavished those things on the ones I spent my time with until they bored me.
Not Shannon.
Pizza and a kiss satisfied her.
Stepping closer to her, I wrapped my hand around the back of her neck and pulled her closer. Her silky hair brushed across my knuckles, and she shivered.
Moving in, I kissed her once more. No open mouth. Just a long press of our mouths, sealing our night and closing away the memory of our first kiss on the swing.
“Good night,” I whispered against her lips before pulling away.
She looked at me through her lashes. Her cheeks were flushed, and her lips were swollen.
“Good night.”
I stood on the sidewalk by my car until she was gone out of sight. Then I climbed into my car, drove home, showered, and fell asleep with thoughts of Shannon.
THE FOLLOWING DAY, I WORKED AT TWIN OAKS.
I probably could have gotten out of it, but I was beginning to enjoy working there. I was getting to know the people, and they were getting to know me.
My favorite of the patients was Miss Iris. I’d found out from a few of the nurses that she was suffering from dementia, which explained why she flirted with me like a twenty-year-old when I was sure she was over eighty. Still, she lightened the mood considerably when I was having a slow, aggravating day.
When it wasn’t Iris bringing out my smile, it was Shannon. A few times, I’d caught a glimpse of her walking the hallways of Twin Oaks, and I tried to catch her before she left, but sometimes she was gone before I finished my task.
Almost exactly a week after our kiss on the swing, I saw her walking down the hallway from the entrance. She was smiling to herself as if she had a secret and was twirling one of the curls resting on her shoulder.
She was wearing leggings and brown boots that worked their way up her calf. The shark bite shirt she was wearing was just long enough to cover her ass and thighs, but when she lifted her arm to run her fingers through her red hair, her shirt lifted as well, showing her curves in the tight leggings and making my mouth water.
“You’re still chasing after her?” Jermaine asked from my side.
I hadn’t even known he was there watching me, and over the weeks, I hadn’t mentioned Shannon much.
“Not chasing. I caught her.” I kept my eyes on her as she walked away from me, her hips shifting with each step she took.
“You’re so full of shit.” He chuckled.
I turned to him with a grin on my face. “Nope. We’re just hanging out. Nothing serious.”
Our situation seemed too personal, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t want to brag. I knew what I had with Shannon, and it was no one else’s business.
“Damn, man, I can’t believe you landed her.”
I couldn’t believe it either. After what little time I spent with her, even I had to agree with Jermaine. She was definitely a special girl, and she was definitely out of my league.
Smart.
Charismatic.
Beautiful.
She had way more going for her than I ever did.
“Am I seeing this shit right?” Jermaine asked, taking my attention away from Shannon right before she turned the corner and disappeared.
“What?”
He pointed at me. “The look on your face. You’re really into her, aren’t you?”
I stiffened.
He didn’t know what he was talking about.
“Get the fuck out of here, man. You haven’t known me long, but you should know better than that.” I laughed.
Jermaine’s face cleared, his smile dropping from his lips. He shook his head.
“Fight it all you want, bro, but I’ve seen that look on a man’s face before, and that shit’s no joke.”
“What look on whose face?”
“On mine when I looked in the mirror. It was about the same time I realized my wife had my ass by the balls.”
He chuckled and began to walk away.
“It’s like quicksand, man; the harder you fight it, the faster you sink.”
“What’s like quicksand?” I called out as he walked away.
“Love.”