On those days, Devin would blow my phone up from his job, constantly calling and checking on Lilly until I contemplated flushing my cell. Yet, at the same time, I was relieved she had someone who obviously cared about her. I was happy knowing Lilly was enjoying a relationship with a man like I never would.
Matthew had shown me a fun night, and I was shocked by how much I enjoyed his company. He wasn’t anything like what I expected. He was honest about his flaws and blunt without a care. While that might not be appealing to some, for me it was refreshing to know everything he was thinking made its way to his lips.
Still, even with his absolute honesty and the enjoyment I found in spending time with him, I couldn’t let my guard down. Men lied, and I’d seen for myself over the years they pretended. Matthew was a man through and through, which meant I expected those faults in him.
He was the perfect gentleman at dinner, not even once trying to touch me, and we had gabbed like old friends, finding comedy in the same things and enjoying a lot of the same movies and music. But the fact remained I wasn’t okay. I wasn’t positive I could go through with my original plan with Matthew, which was having sex and getting it over with.
He scared me, and I didn’t trust myself around him because when he was near, my brain turned to mush, and my physical urges gained full control. I didn’t like that. I thrived on control. It kept me balanced and staved off the insanity that threated. Which meant it was wise to stay away from him. At least until I could come to terms with the recent turn of events. At least until Lilly was healed and no longer needed me. At least until I could no longer see the proof of what man was capable of all over her face.
“How are you feeling today?” I asked, creeping into her room to check on her before I left for work.
The swelling in her face was down, and she could smile fully again. She was leaning up on her pillows and pointing the remote at her TV.
“I’m great. You guys have to stop worrying about me. I don’t like causing a fuss.”
It was just like her to worry about us when she should have been focusing on herself.
“Stop it. We love you. It’s our job to worry.”
Sitting on the edge of her bed, I struggled as more words danced across my tongue, begging to be released. I wanted to talk to her about Matthew. She was my friend, and I trusted her opinion, but I knew the timing was terrible. Not only had she just gotten better, but I had a feeling the fight between Matthew and Devin was still too fresh.
We chatted a bit before I left for work, and as I walked out the front door, a thought occurred to me. Matthew had tried to get with Lilly, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. He had tried to date my best friend, but I supposed, in the long run, it didn’t matter. He would never be more than sex for me, and that was only if I decided to continue with our agreement.
Life went on. The dark clouds of Lilly’s predicament slowly faded away, and Devin became a permanent fixture in our lives and in our apartment. She was busy again, getting back on her feet and getting herself prepared to return to work, which meant I was stuck at Franklin’s alone a good bit with too much time on my hands and way too much silence to think in. I was lonely, which was why when Matthew called my cell phone, I couldn’t help but answer it.
“Hi.” His deep voice rumbled through my phone.
“Hi.”
It was awkward as if something weighted had settled on top of us. We were acting as if something had already happened between us when that wasn’t the case at all.
“How are things?” he asked.
I filled him in on everything going on with Lilly and explained why I hadn’t responded.
“Damn. That sucks. I bet Devin was losing his shit.”
“Yep. What’s the deal with you two anyway? Lilly tells me she thought you guys were friends, but then you were trying to get in her pants.”
He chuckled. “You’re so blunt sometimes.”
“Is that okay? I mean, you were trying to get with her, right?” I asked.
“Something like that.”
“You’re not using me to get to her or anything like that, are you?”
That thought hadn’t occurred to me, but now that it had, it made a great deal of sense.
“No,” he simply said.
No excuses.
No other response.
It bugged me that he wasn’t opening up without me having to push him to.
“Are you attracted to Lilly?”
It wasn’t until the question came out that I realized my words were tinted with a hint of jealousy.
I wasn’t an envious person. Not even a little. Plus, I wasn’t into Matthew that way. Nothing was between us except I was tremendously attracted to him. Yet for some reason, the thought of him and Lilly together sent a little tear across my heart.
“Lilly’s a very pretty girl,” he responded, not giving me an answer.
My heart dropped, waiting for him to divulge his feelings for her.
“She is,” I agreed.
She was much prettier than I was with her long dark hair and clear skin. Meanwhile, I had freckles and red hair. She was short and cute, and I was tall and well … not cute.
“But,” he started, “you’re much more than pretty.”
“I am?” The surprise by his words was evident in my tone, and I curbed it quickly, trying to remain as confident as possible.
“Oh, yeah,” he breathed.
His voice melted me.
The slow, assertive way he spoke to me. The deep vibrations of his tone. It was like he was touching me through the phone.
It seemed I was wrong. It didn’t matter if I saw him or not. Hearing his voice made my mind turn to mush, and my body pulled in the lead of the race to control me.
“Lilly’s nice to look at, but it’s different with you. You’re gorgeous, and you don’t even know it. There’s something steamy about you, Red. You’re like humidity. You make everything hot and wet. When I look at you, all I see is lust ... desire ... thirst. I want to drink you in.”
I swallowed hard, feeling the wetness and desire he spoke of between my thighs.
Dear God. If he could do this to me through the phone, what was he truly capable of?
“I want to see you,” he stated. “When can that happen?”
“I don’t know, Matthew. Now’s not a great time.”
He clicked his tongue. “You know how much I hate the word no.”
“I do, but …”
“But nothing. I always get what I want, and I want you, Shannon.”
“Now who’s being blunt?” I scoffed.
“Meet me somewhere tonight.”
Again with the demands, but somehow, this time it was different.
This time, I liked his domineering tone.
“I—” I opened my mouth to tell him okay, but the door chimed, letting me know I had a customer.
“Shit. I have to go. I’ll call you later.”
I hung up quickly, knowing how much Mrs. Franklin hated it when we were on our phone in front of customers.
My customer was a young man buying an engagement ring for his girlfriend. We went through cases of rings until he decided on the perfect one … a princess cut diamond in a gold setting. When the door chimed with his exit, I picked up my cell, ready to call Matthew back, but before I pressed the call button, I decided it was a bad idea.