I sighed. “She’s in Maine. And she’s not really talking to me. I’m trying to give her space.”
Life without Lana was empty. But the thought of her pain was worse and I hated myself because I’d caused it. I had just been trying to protect her from inevitable trauma, but when I saw what that had done to her, I knew I should have spoken to her. I shouldn’t have kept it from her. I’d made a dreadful situation even more appalling and she’d run. Maybe she always would have. Perhaps she was just looking for an excuse. But I shouldn’t have been the one to give it to her.
I was doing my best to give her what she’d asked for when all I wanted to do was jump on a plane to Maine and hold her, comfort her, tell her how sorry I was. I wanted to fight for her. For what we had. But that’s not what she’d asked for. I’d learned my lesson and I was listening to her. Waiting for her. But I wasn’t giving up. Not ever.
Still, I had to do something.
At least I could clean up the mess I’d made.
As much as was in my power, I needed to make things right.
Twenty-Six
Lana
I shouldn’t have done it, but three tabloids in the grocery store had Matt on their front cover, and I just couldn’t resist buying them. I missed him. Horribly. More than I thought was possible. I’d thought Bobby’s betrayal had hurt me in college, but this was far worse. Matt had deliberately deceived me, and I couldn’t recover from that. No one should make decisions about my life but me.
Maybe it was never destined to work out. He couldn’t make himself less famous. He was always going to be Matt Easton, and I was always going to be the girl from Maine who didn’t want to live with the attention.
I stuffed the magazines into my Kelly Jewelry tote. I’d have to wait until I’d dropped Mrs. Wells’ groceries off before I could scurry back home to read them. I didn’t understand why he was doing so much press when his film with Audrey had been open a month already. Wasn’t publicity supposed to have finished? I needed to stop caring.
Just as I got to Mrs. Wells’ gate, Polly Larch waved from across the street and headed toward me. I hadn’t been out in town very much since my pictures had been made public. I’d just wanted to hide away while people’s memories grew fuzzy. Despite her crazy lady appearance, Polly’s memory was as sharp as a tack, and I pulled my shoulders back, ready for her inquisition.
“I’ve not seen you in the longest time, Lana. I just wanted to tell you that tomorrow night I’m going to be throwing Molly a party to celebrate one year together. It’s a last-minute thing, but I hope you’ll come.”
“Wow, you’ve had her a year already?” The fact the cat was still alive surprised me more than the fact she was having a party for her cat. This was Worthington, after all. I stifled a giggle and wished I could message Matt to tell him. He’d get a kick out of the story.
“A whole year. Can you believe it? Say what you like, but that leash works. Will you come?”
“Sure, but Ruby’s back tonight. Can I bring her?”
“Of course.” She waved as she turned on her heel, her long, full skirt lifting slightly in the wind. “The more the merrier.”
I smiled and shook my head as I watched Polly bounce down the street. She couldn’t have been happier if she’d just been told she’d won the lottery. She hadn’t even mentioned the pictures. Maybe she hadn’t seen them, or maybe she just didn’t care. Either way I was relieved.
By some miracle, the photos of me had not made it into print, and I hoped it stayed like that.
It could have been a lot worse. To my surprise, Bobby selling my photograph to the tabloids took up less of my concern. Perhaps on some level, I’d expected it from him. What cut deep was Matt’s betrayal. And the loss I felt because of that.
I unlatched Mrs. Wells’ gate and pushed my sunglasses up to the top of my head as I took the stairs. As usual, I let myself in. “Mrs. Wells, it’s me, Lana.”
The TV echoed from the living area and her gray curls stuck up over the back of her easy chair. Without turning away from the screen, she waved. “Hello, dear.”
Ruby would be here in a couple of hours, so I didn’t have long to chat. I’d started work on another piece for Barneys, and I wanted to see if I could finish it before she arrived. I put all the groceries away in their familiar homes and headed over to spend a few minutes with Mrs. Wells.
As I approached, she moved her quilt from the chair next to her, and I took a seat. Twice I’d delivered groceries to Mrs. Wells since I’d come back from LA, and she hadn’t once mentioned Matt, the photographs or anything else about her prediction of storms and a man coming into my life. It was almost as if Worthington, Maine, was in a bubble, cut off from any of the less-pleasant aspects of life. It was why I’d come home after New York, and it had been just as healing this time.
“I hear Ruby’s home this weekend,” Mrs. Wells said, pointing her remote control at the TV and pausing the action in General Hospital. “She’s a good girl.”
“She is. We’ve been friends a long time.” I sat back in the chair. I couldn’t remember a time when I hadn’t known Mrs. Wells. She’d always been a part of life here in Worthington. I wasn’t sure she’d aged a day in the last twenty years.
“Old friends are important,” she said. “But new ones are, too. What happened to that handsome boy who rented the cottage from you this summer? The movie star?”
I stiffened. “I don’t know. I guess he’s back in LA.”
She turned to face me. “You know he’s the one for you.”
I stared past her at the TV. “Mrs. Wells. Please.” I wasn’t sure I could cope if she told me Matt was my destiny.
“I don’t want to interfere, but with your father gone, I think you might need someone with a little gray hair to give you a bit of advice.”
I hadn’t expected her to mention my dad. It had been four years, and I still missed him every day. But these last few weeks had been worse than usual. I’d just wanted him to tell me everything was going to be okay. He’d always been right when he’d said it before, and I needed that certainty right now.
I sighed but that didn’t stop Mrs. Wells. And anyway, a part of me wanted to hear what she had to say.
“Your father loved you so much. You know he and your mom didn’t think they could have kids.”
I nodded. My dad had told me I’d been an unexpected surprise. We hadn’t talked much about my mother. I’d been five when she died, but it was times like this that I wished I knew everything about her.
“Whenever I saw him in town, all he ever spoke about was you. Even when he got as sick as he did, he found his voice well enough to tell me what you’d been up to at college and how talented you were.”
I took a deep breath, trying to keep my tears at bay. He’d gotten so frail by the time I got back from college, but I’d always been grateful for the twelve months I’d had with him back here. As much as I hated what had happened to me in New York, it had given me that much, at least.