Kristin was more down-to-earth than I’d expected. Less starry. She didn’t treat me like I was a second-class citizen just because I wasn’t famous. She seemed humble and normal.
Sinclair could have picked someone worse. Up until last night, I would have been happy for Matt to sign a contract with Kristin. But now?
“Yes, I got your list, Kristin, thank you,” Sinclair said. “It works that you’re both in LA and neither of you have travelling commitments. But I think a trip over the holidays would be a good idea. Maybe Cabo. Or even Europe.”
Kristin and Matt were nodding but I couldn’t help but wonder why the hell a vacation was necessary. And would I be going to Cabo with Matt and Kristin or would they be going alone?
“Any functions or trips other than home to see your family, please ensure you keep your team informed,” Sinclair said. “We just need to know what to say to the press if you’re not together and we get asked.”
Sinclair slid a piece of paper across the polished wood table to Matt and gave another to Kristin. “Everything should be set out there.”
“I have the charity gala lunch at the Beverly Hills Hotel that should be on the list for next month,” Kristin said.
“Yeah, I had that down anyway. I did it last year,” Matt said.
“Will that be our first public appearance?” Kristin asked, looking up at Sinclair.
“Yes. We have a lunch planned for next week at the Ivy. We expect press interest to start then and then the gala will be your first official public appearance.”
Matt had spoken to me about the gala. It was being held to raise money for the children’s hospital. It should be me going with him to that event. Not Kristin, however sweet she was.
As they talked, I found I was watching rather than listening, trying to figure out if this really was what I wanted. Could I encourage my boyfriend to put his arms around another woman, even if we all knew it was pretend?
I’d been hiding since New York, denying myself my hopes and dreams, but I’d sacrificed enough.
That I might lose Matt because I wanted to hide might actually be worse than seeing my naked picture all over campus. At least back then I’d been able to go back to Worthington and lick my wounds. But if Matt and I split? Maine was where I’d met him. How would I be able to heal if we broke up if he was everywhere I looked, everywhere I slept? He was in my heart.
The conversation with Ruby and now watching him in the same room as Kristin, seeing a glimpse of him with someone else, solidified my decision. If anyone was ever going to be worth fighting for, worth risking everything for, it was Matt Easton.
He was worth a picture in a magazine.
Worth enduring the internet’s scorn.
Worth risking getting hurt for.
Worth loving.
“I’m going to start working with your team on the following six months’ itinerary,” Sinclair said. “We just wanted to get the big things noted down before we signed.” He pulled out a small bundle of papers from his bag. “And so if everything’s in order with the schedule, then we can sign and we’re done.”
Kristin reached out for the papers, but before she could pull them toward her, I slammed my palm down on top of the bundle, stopping her. “I’m sorry, but no,” I said.
This couldn’t be our lives for the next twelve months. Despite thinking it might be for the best, I couldn’t let this happen.
Matt squeezed my hand. “It’s okay. I’ve seen the contract and so has my lawyer.”
My gaze flickered from Kristin to Sinclair and landed on Matt. “I should have told you before now, but I don’t want you to do this.”
Matt sighed. “I thought this was what you wanted.”
I shook my head. “No. I want you. I want you no matter the circumstances or consequences. I’m sorry, Kristin.” I glanced at her and she was staring back, wide-eyed and smiling. “I didn’t realize this was so far advanced.” I turned back to Matt. “I want to be with you. And the tabloids can go to hell.”
“What are you saying?” Matt asked.
“I’m saying, it’s time.”
“Time?”
“For lunch at the Ivy.”
I stared at him and he didn’t say anything for the longest time. “You want to go public?” There wasn’t much enthusiasm in his voice.
I lifted my shoulders. “I just thought that maybe we could try. You don’t seem so sure.” Had he changed his mind? Kristin was definitely the easier option in many ways.
“I would love that. You know that.” He shifted in his chair, his whole body turned toward me. “But, it’s going to be difficult to try this. I mean, once we’re spotted together, there’s no putting the genie back into the lamp. You get that, right?”
I nodded. “Yeah, I get it. But I want to do this. And if you’re by my side, I think it can work. I want to be with you.”
Matt’s smile lit up his face, but before he could speak, Sinclair cleared his throat. “This isn’t something to make a snap decision about. Maybe take some time—”
“This is all I’ve thought about for weeks,” I said. “And after last night, I realized this is what I want.” I nodded.
“Last night?” Matt asked, turning to me and holding my face in his hands. “What happened last night and why have you waited until now to say anything?”
“I wanted to tell you in person. And you kinda sprung this meeting on me. I didn’t realize—”
“I’m really sorry about this, Kristin,” Matt said, pulling me toward him. “And whatever I can do to make it up to you, let me know. But if Lana’s happy going public—”
She put her palms up facing us. “Of course. I wouldn’t dream of standing in the way of such a cute couple. No hard feelings.” She stood and picked up her purse. “I was on my way to a dinner engagement anyway.”
“I think we should discuss this,” Sinclair said. “I’m not sure you’ve thought of all the consequences.”
“Come on,” Kristin said, pulling at Sinclair’s arm. “This is done. You saw that look in his eye when she told him she was ready to go public. There’s no faking that. This is what he wants.”
Kristin pulled Sinclair out the door, leaving us alone.
“You’re sure?” Matt asked, cupping my face again.
I nodded. “I want to be with you.”
“I want to be with you too.”
“I figure we can get through it together. I’m strong enough to do this with you if you’re by my side.”
“There’s no place I’d rather be.”
He slid his tongue along the seam of my lips and then pushed into my mouth. My body sank in response. Then without warning, he pulled back. “What changed your mind? You’re not just jealous of Kristin, are you? Because, I’d never—”
I pressed my fingers against his lips. “No.” I paused. “Well, yes, I’m jealous of Kristin, but not because I think you’ll cheat.” I paused again. “But I don’t want the world to think you’re hers when really, you’re mine.”
I glanced down and fiddled with the button on his shirt. “And I talked to Ruby last night and she made me see that if you and I are going to have a shot at being serious, then I can’t hide. That you’re worth not hiding for.”