Hold My Breath

She pulls back from me, but keeps her hands on my arms, squaring me to look her in the eyes.

“You and Will have been making each other happy. That guy has made you light up in a way I have never seen, and if he’s been keeping a secret from you about his brother, maybe it’s because he didn’t want you to feel the pain it may cause,” she says.

I breathe in deep, and her eyes stay open on mine, her face serious.

“Maddy, Will’s not the one who cheated on you,” she says, stepping into me and kissing my head.

My mouth twists, and I nod slowly. I know she’s right, but the fact that Will didn’t let me know any of this—that maybe he knew all along—still feels ugly. If the roles were reversed, and a girl he had been with for years was having a relationship with someone else on the side, I think I’d have to let him know. Especially if that girl was my sister.

I walk Holly to the front door and see her off. The rest of the house is quiet. The mess from the party is still scattered around the kitchen and the borrowed tabletops placed around the main room, so I go to work in the kitchen, opening a bag and dropping in napkins and beer bottles, doing my best to set them inside gently, avoiding the clanking sounds.

I’m so quiet while I work that the small tapping on the front door makes me jump. My hand clutches my chest, and my mind races to the obvious conclusion—it’s Will. I move to the door silently, still not sure if I’m going to open it and dive deeper into the gaping wound opened only a few hours ago, when the quiet knock comes again.

With a sigh, I set the bag down in the foyer and slip on my flip-flops, not wanting to talk about any of this inside. It takes my mind a second to catch up to the fact that it isn’t Will at my door, but instead, his uncle.

“Duncan, uh…hey; I’m sorry I kept you,” I say.

His head falls to one side, and his eyes crinkle behind his glasses with his gentle smile.

“I wasn’t sure if anyone was awake, even though it’s nine, and why waste away a day like this, huh?” he says, his arms stretched out to his sides, a small velvet box in one palm.

I step out on the front walkway to admire the blue sky. It’s bright out, a slight breeze tickling the crisp summer leaves of cottonwood trees that line our street. It sounds like the ocean. I turn back to look at him and smile.

“You’re right. It would be a waste to miss this one,” I say.

His eyes hover on mine for a few seconds, and I can tell he knows things. I get the sense that he and Will are close, so he’s probably known things a lot longer than I have. Uncomfortable with that thought, I flit my gaze to his palm, to the small box that’s held shut with a rubber band. I nod at it.

“Oh, yes. That’s the reason I stopped by, actually. I finished the watch your dad wanted me to take a look at,” he says, propping the package flat in one palm so he can slide the band away and open the lid. A golden pocket watch rests surrounded by chain, the hand moving in time around the face. I recognize it as my grandpa’s, so I look to Duncan for permission, taking it from the case and holding it closer when he nods that it’s okay.

“That one’s rare,” he says.

“That’s what my dad always said,” I say, holding it to my ear. I grin at him when the ticks reverberate in my head. “That’s why he’d never let Mom toss it or donate it.”

“Oh, God. I’m glad she didn’t. That watch there goes for about five or six thousand dollars on the auction sites,” he says, and my eyebrows react, shooting up my forehead as I hand the watch back for safekeeping. Duncan chuckles, but takes the box firmly in his hand, fastening the band around the lid before handing it all to me in one, safely packed piece. “It’s worth even more because of this box, actually.”

I chuckle, now holding the box.

“Anything else you want to make me afraid of holding over concrete?”

He laughs in response, and shakes his head.

“No, I think that’s about it,” he says, stopping with his head turned slightly to the side, his eyes blinking. He has more to say, and I know it’s about Will, but Duncan isn’t one to force his opinion into things. Where Will and Evan’s dad was always bold and loud—quick to brag and forceful with dominating conversation—Duncan is reserved.

“Well…thanks for the watch,” I say, holding it up between us. “I’ll put it somewhere safe inside and show my dad as soon as he’s up. He’ll be thrilled.”

“Glad to help. It’s kept me busy. Let him know I’d be happy to fix anything else, while I’m here. I’m going to have a few days on my own this weekend, but I guess…you already know that,” he says, his mouth curved the slightest amount.

Duncan knows things.

I look down to regroup, glancing back at my visitor through my lashes.

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