His Alone (For Her #2)

“Then you better buy stock in ChapStick.”


I laugh at that, and he lets me go. He hits the button to our floor. The elevator opens and we step out, and both of us walk into the office like nothing happened. We take our seats. Only McCoy is here. Everyone else is out on duty. He glances up at us and raises his eyebrows. I wonder if my lipstick is all over my face now.

“I deleted the feed,” he finally says, and I groan. He totally saw what Captain and I just did in the elevator.

“Watch yourself, McCoy,” Captain growls, standing from his chair, suddenly angry.

McCoy puts his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Told you I deleted it, man. Not like I fucking watched it.”

“Cool it,” I snap to Captain. He takes a breath and then slowly sits down, his eyes still on McCoy, clearly pissed that someone saw our make-out session.

“Sorry, I’m a little on edge,” he tells McCoy. I have to fight a smile, because I know why he’s so on edge. Me. I know what he wants from me. A clear commitment that I’m in this for real. Not playing a push-and-pull game anymore. And I want to give him that so bad. The past few days have been some of the best of my life. The tension drains from the room, and we all go back to our computers.

I respond to a few emails, then check in on Mal’s schedule. I’m normally on her detail when she leaves the building, but she’s just been going from work to home. She doesn’t need me when her driver is our security, so I haven’t had much to do.

When I pull up my calendar, the floor drops out from below me. How could I have forgotten? The date stares back at me, and a cloud forms in front of my eyes. It’s the anniversary of the day I lost my mom.

“Fuck,” I whisper to myself, dropping my head and taking a few breaths. I get myself under control, because I’m not going to lose it here at my desk.

I told myself I was going to enjoy Captain while I could have him. That when he finds out what I want to do to my father, he’ll leave me. Hell, I don’t even know if I’ll get to stay around after. If I make it through, I might have to run. It’s why I kept him at arm’s length from the beginning, because we are two different people who come from two different worlds.

But somehow when I decided I would take what I could from Captain, he’d taken me. I’ve been living on this little fluffy cloud, forgetting all about my mother and how I have a duty to repay what was done to her. How could I do that to her? I owe her justice. It’s like I’m back in that room watching her die, standing there helpless all over again. Then the night flashes through my mind, playing scene by scene.

I close my eyes tightly. I don’t know how long I sit there making myself watch it over and over again in my head. Reminding myself of what I did.

Nothing.

I’d done nothing to save her. And what am I doing now to avenge her death?

I pull out my cell phone and text Mal.



I need a favor.





Chapter Sixteen


Ryan



* * *





SOMETHING IS WRONG with Paige. I’ve been watching her all day, and she’s not herself. I’ve gotten her alone twice to ask her, but she brushes it off, saying she has a headache. I’m not sure I believe her. A mask has dropped over her face, making her harder to read than normal. By the end of the day, she isn’t any better, and I’m starting to worry and feel completely on edge. Every muscle in my body is strung tight as I wonder what’s going on in that head of hers. She’s been playful these past few days as I pulled the real Paige out piece by piece, but that playfulness has all but disappeared now.

“Kitten, maybe I should take you to the doctor,” I say, putting the back of my hand on her forehead to see if she has a fever. She doesn’t feel warm, but this isn’t like her. I don’t like this shit, and something about it is eating me. It feels off, and I always trust my gut.

She glances around and then back at me, knocking my hand away more forcefully than I expect. The motion burns deep in my gut. The playfulness slips away even more. She’s slipping away. I can feel it. Usually when she bats me away, it’s a halfhearted attempt. Almost an invitation to keep touching her. But that felt different. “To put it bluntly, I started my period today. I get really bad headaches and cramps, so if you don’t mind I’d like to be alone tonight.”

Her statement surprises me. I didn’t expect her to say it, but it’s not like she’s got the plague. I don’t know what most guys’ reactions would be, but I don’t care. It’s just a period. Every other person on the planet has one. It’s not like she’s going to give it to me, and if I’m with her I can take care of her. Get her anything she might need.

“Look, let’s go home and I can rub your feet and you can rest. I’ll make us dinner.” I’m already thinking about what I can do to make her better. Maybe she’s irritable and needs to eat. That happens more than not. I can Google what helps with that time-of-the-month shit. I’m sure there is something I can do for her.

She looks annoyed and shakes her head as if shaking away the idea. “No, I’d rather be alone. I’ll see you in the morning.” Her words are final, and I’m shocked, pissed even, as I watch her stack those blocks back up around her. She thinks they’re going to stay, but I won’t let them.

“Hey.” I grab her arm, but she jerks it out of my grip. What’s happening? Why is she being so aggressive? She’s pissed, that much is clear. I can see it in the tight lines of her body. She’s rigid, almost breakable.

“Seriously, Ryan. I’m fine. Give me some space tonight. Is that so much to ask?”