Why did memories hurt so bad? I had a lot of good ones, but at times, the bad ones overpowered them. My mother’s room was the last place that needed to be cleaned out before I put the house up for sale. It was secluded, with twenty acres of land in the small town of Franklin, North Carolina. My parents used to share it before they got divorced and it went to my mother. One day on the market and it’d get snagged up.
I’d piled all of the boxes into her room, so it wouldn’t feel so lonely now that she was gone. I could still smell her perfume lingering in the air. She was a fighter until the very end, but eventually, breast cancer took her. My sister and I stayed by her side the entire time. It was nice having Madison here with me, but her job was pretty demanding. She was a sports reporter and traveled all over the country, interviewing famous athletes. The only time I ever saw her was on TV.
It’d been a month since my mother passed, but the pain was still raw. I hadn’t hurt that bad in eight years.
“Kass, you okay up there?” Levi called.
I didn’t realize I’d been crying until I felt the warm tears sliding down my cheek. “I’m fine. Just looking through some things,” I shouted back.
Levi and Sean had moved all the bedroom furniture to my house, but now all I had were the boxes full of her things, mixed in with some of the junk I’d left behind many years ago. There was one box in particular, with a giant X on it, taunting me from across the room. I hadn’t looked at its contents in years.
Getting up and sitting on the hardwood floor, I pulled it over and stared at it. Why did I have problems opening it? It wasn’t like any of it mattered anymore. Opening the box, I reached in and pulled out the photographs.
“Kass?”
I jerked around and dropped the pictures on the floor, scattering them. Levi rushed over and knelt down to help me pick them up. His eyes went wide. “Holy shit, this was prom night.”
He showed me the picture of him and his date, standing beside me and Logan. My mother and I had found the most gorgeous midnight blue gown for me to wear. That was a good night; it also happened to be the night I lost my virginity. “Seems like such a long time ago,” I whispered.
His smile faded. “You’re not still hung up on what happened are you?”
I filtered through more pictures of me and Logan. “He hurt me, Levi. After his accident, he up and left us all.” He hadn’t just abandoned me; he left his friends behind too. No one had heard a word from him in years, not since I found out he had fully recovered and was back on his feet. I thought for sure he’d get back into racing, but he didn’t. I had no clue where he was, or what he was doing.
Levi put the pictures back into the box. “What do you want to do with these?”
I couldn’t stand to see Logan’s face, so I threw the pictures back inside. “Throw ‘em away, burn them. I don’t care. Just make sure I don’t ever see them again.”
Taking the box, he walked to the door and stopped. “I’m gonna head out to meet your dad at the garage. He wants me to test drive the new bike. You okay here?”
I nodded. “Go. Sean will be here to help me.”
“All right, I’ll see ya later.” He walked out and Sean came in, his concerned gaze meeting mine.
“What are you doing on the floor?”
I nodded at the boxes. “Looking at old memories. I guess we can load all this up in your truck and head to my house.”
He held out his hand to help me up. “We can do that. Afterward, you wanna get some dinner?” he offered.
“Sure. I just need to get changed when we get to my house.”
We loaded up all the boxes into the back of his truck and while he waited outside, I took one last stroll around the house. There were still crayon drawings inside my bedroom closet from when I was five. My mother never wanted to paint over them. She ended up drawing on the wall with me.
I had so many fond memories, but recently, all I could focus on were the bad ones. I remembered standing in the living room when my parents told me they were getting a divorce. It was one of the hardest moments in my life, especially when they gave me the choice to pick who I wanted to live with. I chose both and spent half my time with each of them; Madison did the same. The worst memory of all was watching my mom pass away in her bedroom. Her death wasn’t as peaceful as I’d hoped it would be. It wasn’t what she deserved. But she was in peace now, and that’s what I had to focus on.
Once I was done, I stopped on the front porch and locked the door.
“You sure you want to sell this place?” Sean asked.
I was prepared to say yes, but then I glanced at him over my shoulder, his concerned expression giving me pause. “I don’t know,” I answered honestly.