Sloane moved forward and slid his leather jacket over Jason’s shoulders. It was old enough that Jason might be able to keep it for a bit before it was stolen by someone else on the street. He didn’t dare give him something better in case someone thought it was worth Jason’s life. He’d done that before and hated seeing the cuts on Jason’s lip from the fight. He also could take Jason in or force him off the streets. He’d tried that and had only ended up watching Jason walk away again. His friend needed to stay where he was and Sloane could only help so much.
“You need to stay warm, Jason. Have you eaten today? Let me get you something to eat.” He wouldn’t take him to Taboo, though it was the closest. He didn’t want to bring Hailey into this. Or bring this to Hailey. She’d see the darkness beneath his skin and know the truth.
“I can still hear them screaming.” Jason faced Sloane fully. “Why did we live? Why did I have to be in the truck behind you guys? I should have been in your truck like normal. But I got in the other one when we ran out of that last building. I got into the wrong one. And now they’re dead and I’m here and it doesn’t make sense.”
Sloane clenched his jaw and put his hand on Jason’s shoulder. “Let’s get you something to eat, Jason.”
The other man shook his head. “I’m okay.”
He wasn’t. But then again, neither was Sloane. “Let me give you some money for later, then.” He pulled out his wallet and took out the rest of the bills he had in there. It wasn’t much, but it was something. He stuffed them into the pocket of the jacket he’d given Jason and squeezed the man’s shoulder. “Be safe, Jason. Please.” Tears pricked at his eyes and he forced them away. He didn’t have a right to cry. Not anymore.
“I always am, Sloane. That’s the problem. Isn’t it?” With that, Jason shuffled off, his hands in his new pockets.
Sloane stood there for another few minutes, watching Jason walk away and knowing he hadn’t done enough. He never did.
“Sloane?”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, breaking inside once more. Hailey’s voice broke him into a thousand pieces, and yet he knew he couldn’t show her that. Wouldn’t. She’d seen it. What had she heard? What would she do?
“Go inside, Hailey.”
He heard her move toward him, but he kept his attention focused on the direction where Jason had disappeared.
“No. I won’t. You’re cold out here.”
“Then you’re cold, too. So go inside.”
“Sloane.” So much depth, so much emotion in that one word.
He wasn’t good enough for her. He was too dirty. Too unclean. He’d let the others die. He hadn’t been enough. Their deaths slid over his skin as if it owned him. He wasn’t what she needed. Regardless that he loved her. He was too rough, too on edge. Too full of guilt and sin.
She wouldn’t leave him, not unless he pushed. And if he didn’t push, he’d shatter her more. He’d have to break her right then.
“It’s over, Hailey. I can’t do this anymore. We had our time and it was fun, but I can’t do it. We’re just too different.”
“Look at my face when you say that. Look at my face when you try to end it without telling me anything at all.”
He turned then to face her. They stood in the middle of the sidewalk, though it was too cold outside for many people to be out and about. The others in the shop stood at the windows, staring, but he had to get this over with. He had to protect her from him.
“We had what we had, but I’m not made for long term. You’re made for so much more than me. So it’s over.”
She pushed at his chest and growled. “Stop it. Stop acting like this. This isn’t who you are.”
“I’m exactly this, Hailey.” He gripped her wrists and pushed her back. “I’m nothing. Don’t you get that? You don’t know me at all and that’s my fault, but fuck, everything’s my fault. So just walk away now.”
“You’re the one walking away. Not me.”
“Then let me walk.”
With that, he turned on his heel and headed to the alley that would lead him to the parking lot. He had his wallet and keys and didn’t need anything else from the shop. He’d just broken the one woman he’d promised to never hurt, but he hadn’t had a choice. If he’d have stayed, she’d have been marred.
He’d let those close to him down before, let them burn and die and scream.
He couldn’t do the same to her.
Hailey watched him walk away and wondered what the hell had just happened. How could he do that? How could he leave her standing in the middle of the sidewalk as if nothing had happened?
Oh, she’d known he’d do something like this soon, she’d felt it, but she hadn’t known it would hurt this much. It shouldn’t hurt this much. Right? She rubbed her breastbone and tried to keep the tears from falling. She would not cry. If she did, then it would be final, he’d really be gone and she’d have done nothing about it.
For a moment, an agonizing moment, she thought him leaving was truly about her. Maybe it was about her scars, maybe it was about what he’d seen when he’d traced her. But then she mentally hit herself upside the head and pushed those thoughts away.