? ? ?
I stayed at Ren’s house for a couple of hours. I met her aunt and uncle, who were nice and kept offering me things to drink, and then we watched a movie in her media room. Kai, baked out of his mind, came in when it was almost over and announced that he needed some marshmallows immediately, but there weren’t any in the house and his license was suspended for another week. Ren told him that was too damn bad, but after a few minutes of negotiations, we took Kai to the store and ended up sitting with him at the fire pit in the Himuras’ backyard roasting marshmallows. Kai wandered off, but Ren and I kept sitting there in the dim glow, talking about nothing in particular.
“How can you eat that?” I asked as Ren pulled a blackened marshmallow out of the fire.
“This is how I like them,” she said, pulling the sticky thing apart with her fingers. “Don’t judge.”
“I would never.”
“Good, because I think accepting someone’s personal weirdnesses is the foundation for all good relationships,” she said. “I believe in unconditional love, you know?”
Unconditional. It was a nice thought, if it really existed. Maybe it could.
“Now what are you thinking when you make that face?” she asked.
I smiled and looked down at the fire.
“Mystery man,” she said with a sigh. “It’s okay. Someday you’ll tell me.”
It was nice, all of this. And it was mine now. Home, family, pretty girl. Everything a person could ever want.
? ? ?
I didn’t know it then, but it was probably the happiest night of my life.
Ren drove me home, and after I’d watched her headlights disappear around the curve in the driveway, I went inside, following the voices back to the kitchen. Mia was eating grapes from the stem at the kitchen island, Patrick was working at his laptop at the breakfast table, and Lex was wiping down the spotlessly clean counters. They didn’t notice me immediately, and I spent a moment just looking at them. Drinking them in. Loving them.
For a second I wondered where the real Danny was, if he would understand that it was better for us all, including them, that I was here.
Mia spotted me. “Danny!” She hopped off her stool and flung herself at me. I caught her and spun her in circles until she shrieked.
“Careful!” Lex said.
“Are you going to pass out?” I asked when I lowered Mia back to her feet.
She grinned and swayed drunkenly. “Maybe.”
“Then my work here is done.”
“Time for bed, Mimi,” Lex said. “Go brush your teeth and get changed. I’ll be up to adjust your brace in a minute.”
Mia kissed us all and headed upstairs. Patrick looked at Lex. Lex swiped at more invisible crumbs.
“What is it?” I said.
“The FBI called,” Patrick said. “They want to schedule another interview.”
I felt a hot flush pass over me. “So soon?”
He nodded.
“Why?” I asked. “I told them everything.”
The FBI didn’t buy my story. They wanted to prove I was a liar. I felt suddenly nauseous, the sickly sweet aftertaste of marshmallow sugar in my mouth turning my stomach. Lex was scouring a plate, even though she was standing right beside the dishwasher.
“I don’t want you to worry about this, okay?” Patrick said. “I’m sure it’s no big deal, just a routine follow-up. I know it’s going to suck having to go through it all again, but you did great today and you can do it again. After this you’ll be done for a while. I’ll make sure of it.”
I took a deep breath. I was sure Patrick was right. I still felt uneasy about Morales, but there had been no concrete signals that they didn’t believe me—hell, Lynch had practically wept—so this was probably just routine.
It was just that now I felt like I had things to lose.
“Do you want something to eat?” Lex asked. “I can make you something.”
“I’m okay,” I said. “I think . . . I think I’m just going to go to bed. I’m wiped.”
She nodded. “Whatever you need. We’re here.”
Despite my exhaustion, sleep wouldn’t come. I lay in bed, staring at the faded stars on the ceiling, buried deep under the covers to stay warm in the air-conditioning. I eventually got up to block the air vent and open a window to let the balmy night air in, but it didn’t help. The cold had settled into my bones.
My stomach rumbled. I hadn’t eaten anything for dinner but marshmallows, and there was an ache inside of me that was something like hunger but different. It was a lack. A want. One too complex for me to label. I threw off the covers and got up. I would wake up Lex and ask her to make me something to eat after all. She’d told me to wake her if I ever needed anything, and she was always trying to feed me. Take care of me. It would help.
I walked toward her bedroom and was a little surprised to see a dim light showing through the crack at the bottom of her door. It looked like I wouldn’t be waking her after all. I raised my hand to knock when I heard her voice, hushed but agitated.
“How are you so calm about this?” she said. I could tell from the way her voice moved that she was pacing the room. I dropped my hand and moved my ear closer to the door.
“Freaking out about it isn’t going to help anything.” Patrick was inside as well. “It’s probably nothing.”
“I hate this,” she said. “We never should have done this. We never should have brought him here!”
I frowned. What was she—
“Maybe you’re right, but it’s too late to second-guess things,” Patrick said. “He’s here now, and we just have to make it work. We have so far.”
“God, what were we thinking?”
“We had no choice and you know it. She was getting too close. It’s all going to be okay.”
“You don’t know that!”
“I’ll make it okay if I have to,” he said. “Come here.”
Lex made a soft sound, and the room went silent.
Or maybe I just couldn’t hear them anymore over the rushing of blood in my ears. Tiny black dots had taken over my vision, and I was nothing but a silent, blind, breathless gasp in the dark.
They were talking about me.
I backed away from the door, numb and plodding, almost tripping over myself in my effort to get away.
We never should have brought him here.
How could she say that about me? Her own brother?
She couldn’t.
? ? ?
She knew. They both did.
Lex and Patrick knew I wasn’t Danny.
? ? ?
When I came back to myself, I was . . . well, I didn’t know where I was. I was in my pajamas, barefoot, sitting on the grass of someone else’s lawn. I must have run from the house. I had no idea how far I’d gone or how much time had passed, and I didn’t care.
Because Lex and Patrick knew.
They knew I wasn’t their brother.
No. No, no, no. I pressed my fists against my forehead like I could jam the word into my brain and force myself to believe it. I didn’t know what they knew. The snippet of conversation I’d overheard could be anything. I tried to remember every word. Lex was freaking out, Patrick was telling her it would be okay . . .