And he had. I roll to my side, still rubbing my belly. The only thing that has gotten me through his disappearance has been relieving moments like those. Every day with Thomas only got sweeter and sweeter. Like this place. He knew I didn’t want to go to college. So what did he do? He bought this place without so much as a question. Brought me here and told me he was going to make all my dreams come true.
He wanted me to have a little place to make the shoes I love to design so much. I’d even have room to hire more people if I need. He was making all my dreams come true. But now things have changed. Maybe he was right. He spent all that time handling me so softly, scared I might spook, and I did. I was so freaking scared.
When I heard his voice come over my phone line today, I almost collapsed. He could only talk for a second. Told me he loved me and would be home to me soon. I didn’t believe it at first. It was as if I dreamed it up. Then the landline rang, and I knew it was true. They were calling to talk to Maggie, to set up a call for her to talk to her father.
I also knew in that moment that he’d snuck away to call me first. It warmed me for a moment. I let the bit of sweetness take me until reality starts to sink in.
I can’t do this. I can’t go through this again—him going away and possibly leaving me forever. I’d always be worried that any moment he might have to leave. Then I’d worry even more when he was gone. The possibility of losing him would slowly eat away at me. I’m not sure I’m someone who can handle that. I also hate how weak it makes me sound. More tears fall. Thomas needs someone strong, not someone he has to handle with kid gloves. Or someone that he can be out in the open with.
Not that we can hide anymore. Soon Maggie will know the truth. She’ll know I wasn’t a great friend and that I’d betrayed her. And I’ll be all alone.
I feel a little flutter in my belly, and my hand goes to the spot. No, I won’t be completely alone.
Chapter 1
Thomas
I’d been missing for weeks, and the only thought that kept me going was my redheaded beauty. It’s not that I didn’t miss my daughter or want to get back to her. I knew Maggie was with Eli, and I didn’t have to worry. He would always care for her.
But my sweet girl, my reason to wake up in the morning, the reason my heart keeps beating… Alice was the center of my universe since the day I laid eyes on her. I knew she was too young for me. I shouldn’t be chasing high school pussy around like an old man. But damn if I didn’t see all that sugar she had to offer and want a taste.
She was so pure and innocent. I could tell that from the start. And then I found out her goddamn family treated her like shit, and I took care of business. Neither of them would come looking for her and would likely have a hard time looking me in the eye if they did. Nobody lays a hand on what’s mine. And Alice is mine.
I wasn’t able to tell Maggie and Eli what happened and why my plane went down. But I spent weeks in the jungle trying to get home. My sole focus was Alice. My mission was fucked from the beginning, and no way should I have even gone. I was their last chance to make this deal go through, to get information that could save lives. I knew I had to do it. I hadn’t been on a mission since I took over custody of Maggie, and even I didn’t have that kind of magic up my sleeve for what they needed done. I kicked myself once I got out there. It was a fucking waste. Worse, it almost got me killed, and I knew what that would do to Alice. That thought alone almost broke me.
When I could tell it was a lost cause, I immediately started my way back home. My plane was shot down, and I was able to eject before I hit. The impact nearly killed me, but I was able to get out.
But where I landed wasn’t much safer than where I’d left, so I spend days trying to get out of enemy territory. The thought of Alice, knowing she needed me, pushed me. Once I’d made it clear of the worst part, I had to somehow make my way back to civilization and get word back home without compromising my mission.
When I was finally able to get a message out, I was discovered by a local gang and then hunted for another few weeks. It was all kinds of fucked up, and I’m lucky to be alive. I hitched a ride with another crew that was sympathetic to my situation and got me stateside. My first call was to Alice before the military intercepted and gave me a safe channel to call Maggie. I was lucky to be alive, so they weren’t too excited about pressing charges for that.
After a long talk with my commanding officer we agreed that I’d more than served my country and done my duty on this mission. They expressed my paperwork and shipped me home, so now I’m no longer active in the military. No more missions, no more anything. I was retiring and I was damn happy about it. No more being taken away from the people I love most.
I got home, and seeing Maggie and Eli made me so happy. I was content they had both finally got what I’d known was coming. I knew Eli was perfect for her the moment he walked into her life. I was worried at first, but I knew Eli would always do the right thing. He wanted a family, and he’d do anything for the one we’d all been building together, even if at first we didn’t know that we had been doing it.
But there was a hole in my heart waiting to be filled, a missing part of me.
And it’s still waiting to be filled. I have to see her. I feel like I’m being ripped apart from the inside. I need my sweet girl to calm the feeling.
I’ve been driving all night, and I can’t find her. I went everywhere I could think of and still no sign of Alice. Panic is setting in, and it’s like nothing I had when I was in the jungle. The fear of losing Alice is far greater than the fear of something happening to me. I don’t know what I’d do without her. I push that thought away because I won’t be living without her. I will find her and drag her little ass back home, remind her where she belongs.
Fuck. I never should have left to begin with. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. I know the kid whose place I took would have never made it out of that jungle, but fuck, my girl is missing, alone somewhere.
I grip the wheel tighter, thinking about her not being alone. I’d murder someone if they touched her. I let my bad thoughts get the best of me. No, she wouldn’t do that. Not my girl.
Finally when I loop back through town, an idea pops in my head. I drive out to the little shop I bought for her, thinking maybe she went there. It’s late by now, and I don’t know why she’d be there, but it’s the only other thing I can think of.
When I pull up to the front, I can see the glow of a light through the front window. I growl as I get out of my car and slam the door shut. When I walk up to the door, I grab the handle and see that it’s locked. At least she’s keeping herself somewhat safe.
I stomp around to the back of the building to see if there’s another way in. I shake my head in disbelief. Why did she take off? I told her I was okay and I was on my way home.