“Fuck.” He closed his eyes for a second. “I wish you hadn’t told me that.”
“So, to answer your original question, no, I did not seduce you on purpose.” She picked up her cup and sipped her coffee.
“Why?”
She didn’t think he was asking why she hadn’t seduced him. “Why what?”
“Why were you a virgin?”
“It just never happened. But mainly because a lot of people know I’m married. It wouldn’t have felt right.”
“Did I hurt you?”
She frowned. “Of course not.”
“Jesus. A fucking virgin.”
Time to get off the subject. “Anyway, I was thinking after you left this morning, that we’re both reasonable people. As such, we should sit down and discuss why you need to be free so quickly. Then maybe we can come up with a plan that suits us both.”
…
Sounded good.
Problem was, right now he wasn’t feeling too reasonable. A goddamn virgin. He tried to remember back, but he hadn’t exactly been thinking straight at the time. She’d been tight…all tight and hot and wet wrapped around his dick… And maybe he’d better not go there because he was already semi-hard from the vibrator comment. Remembering what it had felt like being buried deep inside her was not going to help matters. But Christ, he’d been her first. That should mean nothing but it did. He just wasn’t sure what.
She was watching him expectantly. What had she asked?
“Sorry?” he said.
A flash of annoyance crossed her face. “Why do you need to end the marriage now? Is there someone else? Last night, you said you didn’t want to marry another woman.”
“Hell, no.” As soon as he spoke, he wished he’d not been quite so emphatic. Maybe he should have told her there was someone else. He planned on there being someone else as soon as he was free, but certainly not for marriage, and he had no one particular in mind yet. He didn’t believe in lying, though.
“So why? We’ve been…married for nearly five years. Why not wait another six months?”
Shit. He stood up, strode to the window, stared out. This was going to sound so fucking lame. Finally he turned back to her. “I want sex.”
“Now?” The word came out as a squeak. Her eyes were wide, and he realized what she thought.
“Shit. No. Not now, and not with you.”
Her face fell. He guessed that had been a little harsh. But really, it was a bad idea. It had been a bad idea last night and was an even worse one this morning. No way did he want her to get the impression that this marriage was in any way real. He did not want to go there. Had she been a different sort of woman, he might have considered it, and gotten this inconvenient attraction out of his system. They could spend the next six months having fun, screwing each other’s brains out, and at the end of that time, they could get a nice, easy divorce and say good-bye.
But she wasn’t a different sort of woman. She was the sort of woman who let homeless people share her house, who rescued chickens and three legged dogs. She was nice and probably wanted children of her own and who knew what else. And he didn’t do any of that stuff.
She looked hurt. He hadn’t meant to hurt her, but as she’d said, they needed to get things clear between them.
“Sex between us would complicate matters.”
“You should have thought of that last night.” She sniffed. “And for your information, if you had wanted sex now, I would have said no.” She sounded almost like her grandmother, haughty and upper class, and he had a really stupid urge to prove her wrong. He’d seen the way she looked at him earlier. She was aware of him as a man, and she wanted him. He could change her mind within minutes. He could have her flat on her back on that sofa. Or bent over his desk, her ass in the air. He hadn’t seen her ass yet. This time he’d strip her totally. He wanted to see her breasts as well. His dick twitched at the thought.
Down boy.
Not a good idea on so many levels.
“Good,” he said. “Then we’re on the same wavelength.” Of course they were. Only his dick was not quite in agreement.
Her brows drew together, her nose wrinkling. She was cute. “So you want sex. I’m not stopping you. I presume being married hasn’t stopped you over the last few years. What’s changed?”
He was silent for a minute, suddenly almost embarrassed that he’d been celibate. And he hadn’t even had a vibrator or whatever the male equivalent was. It was nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of men were celibate for lots of reasons. But in some ways, it made the marriage seem more real.
Finally, he spoke, “I don’t cheat.”
Her frown deepened. “It’s not cheating if we’re not really married.”
“I know,” he said. “But all the same, that doesn’t work for me. Call me old fashioned, but even if it’s not technically cheating, it’d still feel like it to me.”
She sucked on her lower lip as she thought through his statement. “So let me get this straight. You haven’t had sex since we got married?”
He gave a curt nod.
“Not at all?”