At the base of her throat, Rafe saw her heart rate flutter double time. It would probably be in both their best interests for him to shut the door…with her on the other side of it. As it was, it was going to take him until wheels up to get his head on straight. Having her standing in front of him in the flesh would make that deadline a million times harder, but not meeting it wasn’t an option. This particular operation was too damn important to fuck up.
Rafe stepped aside to let her into the room but kept as wide a berth as possible. “What’s on your mind, Red? If you’re worried about Rachel, all I can say is that if she’s there, we’ll get her out.”
She nervously wrung her hands together. “I know. It’s not actually about the op. I know you guys will get to her.”
He waited, eyebrows arched.
“I guess I just wanted to talk to you…before you left.”
“Why? Think I’m not going to make it back?”
She stopped fidgeting and tightened her beautiful mouth in a humorless scowl. “That is not funny.”
“Wasn’t meant to be.”
“You’re not making this easy,” she grumbled.
Her newly acquired boots clunked on the hard floor as she paced his small quarters. She started and stopped a few times before coming to a final halt close enough for him to smell the clean scent of soap. An errant strand of strawberry hair caught itself in her long lashes, and his hand automatically reached out to rescue it.
The entire room pulsed at the contact. Fuckin’ A. Keeping his damn hands to himself wasn’t possible. Before he knew it, he ran the backs of his knuckles up her cheek and savored the feel of her tilting her head into his touch—right until she started to pull away.
“You know what? Never mind. I made a mistake in coming here,” she mumbled, turning away.
“The hell you did.” He caught her arm and spun her around. She landed against his chest with a thump, and the second their bodies collided, heat spread through him from head to toe. “You came here to say something. Say it.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Have I ever given you the impression that I like to be ordered around like a Labradoodle? Stop. Stay. Talk. If you ever decide to hang up your Glock for good, you could have a very lucrative career in dog training.”
“Red,” he growled in warning.
He expected another smart-mouthed comeback, and instead, she wilted in front of him. There was no other way to describe the sudden stooped shoulders or the weary-eyed look fogging her eyes. At least when she was spitting venom in his direction, he knew to either give it back or fuck it out of her. But at the quiver of her lips, he didn’t know what to do…and that scared the ever-lovin’ shit out of him.
On reflex, he threaded his fingers through hers and held on for as long as he could. “You’d be doing us both a favor if you got right down to the point of your visit, sweetheart.”
Tears began welling in her eyes, but she held them at bay. “I just wanted to tell you that you have so much more to offer a woman than you realize or give yourself credit for. I hope that when you find that special one who completes your life, you’ll follow your heart first and figure the rest out later, because if anyone deserves to be happy, you do.”
Goddamn, it hurt to breathe. Each inhale stuck in Rafe’s throat, collecting until his chest threatened to explode. A voice inside his head screamed that she was that woman, the one who rounded him out, brought things out in him he hadn’t known were missing. She made him believe in things he hadn’t thought about since he was a child dropped into the foster-care system—a family to protect and cherish, and the support that came with it.
The only thing keeping him from purging his thoughts and acting on his hungry greed was knowing he couldn’t give her the long-term safety and security she deserved. “You’re an incredible woman, Penelope Lucky Kline. And you almost make me believe it.”
“Then I guess my work here is done.”
Done. Final. The fucking end.
Rafe’s chest fucking ached. Actually, an ache would’ve been welcomed. It felt like he’d been gutted and set on fire. Consumed by a rush of pain the likes of which he’d never felt before, he reached for the only thing that had the ability to take it away.
Penny.
He meant it to be a fleeting, chaste kiss. But he felt nothing innocent when it came to her. Or fleeting. When he dropped his mouth onto hers, one brush of his tongue against the seam of her lips was all it took for her to open to him—and to realize that he was goddamned tired of doing the right thing.
If she had even the slightest reservations about the direction in which they were heading, she’d have to be the one who took the initiative to end it, because he sure as hell couldn’t, not with the feel of her in his hands.
“You have no idea how bad I wish I could be the man you think I am,” Rafe murmured against her soft skin, diverting his mouth down her neck until he reached the sexy dip of her shoulder.
Penny captured his face between her palms and forced him to look her square in the eye. “I don’t think you’re him. I know it. And most importantly, you’re the man I need, Rafe.”