Heat Wave

Soon after, Kate and Nikki come up to see the ring, which I can fully appreciate now that my eyes have dried. It looks almost vintage, an asymmetrical pearl offset by diamonds that sparkle like the Hawaiian sky under these lights. Then they bombard me with questions about being bridesmaids and where the wedding will be held and all the things that I never dared to dream about but now is a total reality. The only person who is a bit stand-offish is Charlie, but I figure he’s drunk (still shirtless, too) and just needs some time to come around.

When it gets late and things start to wind down, the new day seeping into the night, Logan takes my hand and leads me home to his house.

There’s so much to discuss, so many things we’re going to have to face.

But we’re doing it together.

And for tonight, we’re the only people that matter.





CHAPTER NINETEEN




I wake up in Logan’s arms. I wake up with a gorgeous diamond and pearl ring on my finger. I wake up with this man’s love. A pledge for endless love.

And I wake up afraid.

I take in a deep breath, turning my head to see Logan sleeping soundly beside me, snoring lightly. He’s so beautiful, the perfect face at first glance, but the closer you look, the more you see the imperfections. The acne scars on his cheek, the way his nose twists in the middle, a surfing injury from back in the day. When he smiles you can see a few crooked bottom teeth, and his grin itself isn’t fully even.

But all these little flaws only make him more gorgeous. They make him more mine. In our flaws, outside and in, we see each other and understand each other.

And yet I’m afraid. Afraid of what’s about to come. I love Logan with all my heart but I know there’s a world out there that won’t see that love and won’t understand. And while I’m prepared to fight them, I’m prepared to turn my back on those who will judge us, I’m worried that they can fight back harder.

I’m going to be Logan’s wife. It’s everything I’ve wanted and then some.

But this isn’t going to be easy.

I have to tell my parents.

“Are you watching me sleep again?” Logan mumbles, keeping his eyes closed.

“Yes,” I say, voice creaky from sleep. “Can’t get quite enough of you.”

“You’re going to get a lot more of me,” he says, slowly opening his eyes, fixing them on me. “I can’t believe I get to wake up next to you like this for the rest of our lives.”

His love is intoxicating, banishing the dark clouds I have threatening my heart. I kiss him softly as he runs his hands through my hair and we are lost to each other.

Eventually we get out of bed. A new year, a new life. The restaurant is closed for the holiday but Logan does have to go relieve Kate from reception later. She’s getting paid triple overtime out of the goodness of Logan’s heart, but I’m sure she’s raring to go back to bed and sleep. Everyone has to be a bit hungover.

It’s weird not to hide it anymore, but it feels good. And with everyone being so happy for us, it puts an extra bit of pep in my step. In fact, as we walk back to the hotel together, I’m practically skipping, swinging on his arm like a schoolgirl.

While he heads off to do some work, I head back to my place. We have plans to meet later for dinner, which either means a spot in Hanalei if any are open, or I’ll just cook for him again. There’s no one else I’d rather slave over the stove for, and how much he enjoys what I make is just icing on the literal cake (coconut is his favorite).

But the minute the door closes behind me, the rays of happiness start to fade. The fear is back, lurking behind the dark clouds, threatening the happy little life we’ve built with each other.

I have to call my parents. I know their opinion doesn’t matter but this is different. I don’t care if my mother and father don’t approve – I know one-hundred-percent that they won’t. But my mother is in politics and she’s not just a bitch in a way that makes her strong, in the way she gets things done. She can be downright horrible and I can’t trust her for anything.

Don’t tell them.

I should listen to that voice.

Elope.

I should listen to that voice.

I should, I should, I should.

But what if they could just see it from my point of view?

What if they could understand?

I stick my phone underneath my pillow in my room, out of sight out of mind, and take a long shower, but my brain is being torn in half. There’s a moment of utter happiness that Logan and I are together, no more secrets, that I’m going to marry him.

Then there’s one of utter rage and despair. When I think there’s no way it will ever happen. That there’s no way I can feel this happy without having the rug pulled out from under me. Nothing has ever been this easy before – why should this be?

And it hasn’t been easy. It’s been a battle to fight the shame. But the love is the easy part. It’s free-flowing and never-ending and I feel it from him just as much as I give and that truly makes everything worth it.

Get married. Don’t tell them. Don’t let them ruin your one chance at happiness.

The thoughts again. Louder this time.

Would it be cowardly not to say anything?

Or is it smart to protect the one true thing I have?

Because I know the risk…it’s not just that my parents could disown me.

They could take away Moonwater.