I gave him a small smile and wondered if he was right. He was my best friend. Maybe he did deserve to know the truth, where I came from, what I’d been through. I was speaking before I even realised words were coming out of my mouth.
“I was raised very firmly within the Catholic church,” I began. Trev didn’t let up stroking my back and it helped to soothe my tension. We lay side by side on the bed, facing each another. “My dad owns a restaurant where I grew up in Enfield, so my parents have always been involved in the community, especially the church. I was actually taught to play piano by a nun, believe it or not. Anyway, my childhood was very regimented. I was the youngest of four children and my parents ran a tight ship. I always had to conduct myself in a respectable manner. Like, if I wore a neckline that was too low or a top that was too tight, my father would literally ground me for a week. Not exactly easy when you’ve got a body like mine. My boobs make everything look too tight.”
Trev gave me a tender smile and I paused to swallow, because talking about it always upset me. Trev didn’t say anything, but I could see I had his full attention.
“There was a businessman in my parish, my father’s acquaintance, who came to our house for dinner one evening. I’d always gotten a sketchy vibe off him, but when he came to dinner I was seriously on edge. There was just something creepy about how he looked at me. I was eighteen and had just started university to study music. My mother was bragging proudly about the program I’d gotten into and how competitive it was, how I’d be playing solos with the London Symphony Orchestra one day. He was impressed and offered for me to play at an upcoming company event he was hosting at my father’s restaurant. I was wary of the offer, but my parents were over the moon.
“A couple of weeks later the night of the event came. The restaurant was full of people and I sat by the piano playing instrumental pieces, pre-approved by Mum and Dad. By midnight everybody was tipsy. I finished up and went out back to use the bathroom when I bumped into him.”
“Reya,” Trev breathed. I could tell my story was agitating him by the way his pulse ticked in his throat.
“It’s hard to t-talk about the next bit,” I whispered.
Trev’s jaw tensed. “Did he hurt you?”
I nodded. Trev swore profusely, saying how he was going to find this guy and kill him, break every bone in his body. I knew he didn’t mean it. He was just angry. Angry like my parents should have been.
“I was in shock for about a week after. Mum thought I had the flu and that’s why I wouldn’t leave my bed. In the end, she realised I wasn’t sick so she dragged me out of my room. I was so upset that I told her everything, and then she . . . she looked me right in the eye and told me I was lying. She said I was trying to bring shame on the family. I shouted at her and ran to my father, thinking he might be more sympathetic, but I only got the same response. I still can’t tell whether they truly thought I was lying or if they were just so frightened of a scandal and the attention it would bring that they’d rather choose not to believe me.”
“Pair of bloody wankers,” Trev grunted, his expression furious. “I actually want to hurt them.”
I let out a sad sigh. “You shouldn’t. I just feel sorry for them. They’d rather shun their youngest daughter than face the fact that she’d been raped by a man they welcomed into their home.”
Trev pulled me into his arms and hugged me tight, like he couldn’t stand to hear it put into words so bluntly.
“I went to my brothers and my sister after that, hoping they might believe me. My sister Paula did, and my brother Samuel, too. But my oldest brother, Lucas, he was too much like my father. He didn’t want to believe. He went to my parents and told them how I was trying to stir up trouble. They tried grounding me but I’d already packed my bags. I couldn’t live in a house with people who refused to believe the truth, so I went to stay with my next-door neighbour, Mrs Finnegan.” I smiled sadly, remembering how fierce that old bird had been. “I used to call her my English granny because she always looked out for me. She was the only person I ever saw tell my parents exactly what she thought of them. They basically told me not to bother coming home. They weren’t going to pay for my uni fees anymore, and as far as they were concerned I was no longer their daughter. It hurt like I’d been stabbed in the gut. They’d never been particularly loving parents, but I still couldn’t believe they’d cut me out of their lives so callously. All to avoid judgement from the community.”
When I finished speaking, we were both quiet for a long time. Trev held me so tight it was on the verge of being painful.
“I want to ask you something but I’m afraid to hear the answer,” he said finally, his body tense.
“Just ask,” I whispered, my face pressed into his warm shoulder.
“What happened to the fucker who did it?”
I exhaled heavily. “He didn’t get away with it, if that’s what you’re wondering.”
“Then what?” he grunted, like he wished he’d been the one to dole out justice.
“After I told Karla, she was just as angry as you. Without my knowledge, she looked into his background and found a bunch of charges for sexual assault, but all of them had been dropped. She suspected he’d paid the girls to drop them, or maybe their parents. When she came to me with the information, I was so upset to hear there had been others. Then I got angry. Karla wanted my permission to contact these women and see if they’d be willing to give new statements. If it turned out that they’d been coerced into changing their original statements through bribery or other means, they could be struck off the record.” I paused to take a breath. “So, that’s what we did.”
“And he got sent away?”
I nodded. “It took over a year, but he finally got what he deserved. Fifteen years. The bribery charges on top of the sexual assault and rape upped the sentencing. But the public nature of the trial made my parents even more resentful. That was the final nail in the coffin for them.”
“Jesus Christ, they don’t fucking deserve you back in their lives, Reya. They never deserved you. I can’t,” he paused, raking a through his hair in frustration, “I can’t believe you went through all this and I’m only hearing about it now.”
“Don’t hate me for not telling you. It’s the hardest thing to talk about. And I just want to put it all behind me.”
Trev stared at me for a long moment, thoughts flickering behind his eyes. “I know I can be unreliable and flighty sometimes, but I honestly can’t help it. I want to be there for you and I’m gonna try harder. I want you to know you can trust me. If you ever need someone, I’m here.”
I mustered a smile for him, because he was being incredibly sweet. “I know, and thank you. I guess you deserve that first-best-friend status, after all.”
Seventeen.