“Trying to find your mic. I bet that Jimbo is listening to everything we say. Nosy bugger.”
Trev didn’t argue and I found it tucked into the waistband of his jeans. He sat forward to grant me better access, and my fingers brushed the bare skin of his back. I noticed how neither one of us commented on moments like these. Like Trev could’ve easily switched it off himself, but he’d rather let me do it. I could’ve easily told him to turn it off, but I’d rather do it because that meant I got to touch him.
I was so far gone there was no use trying to climb back to where I was supposed to be. I planned to keep things platonic. I planned to focus on my music. But I’d barely written anything in days and all I could think about was him. When he walked into a room, my eyes instinctively followed.
“So,” I said as I sat back, my curiosity getting the better of me. “What exactly was all that about Callum sending pictures to girls on Tinder?”
Trev’s brow rose. “You don’t know?”
I shook my head. He exhaled heavily and let out a light chuckle. “It was all over the gossip sites a few months back. I can’t believe you never heard about it.”
“Well, I don’t really read gossip sites.” Not unless I’m having a particularly bad day and making the poor decision to google your name, my subconscious added.
His eyes traced the line of my jaw before coming to rest on my lips. “Guess you’re too classy for the likes of that, huh?”
“Too busy trying to make rent, more like,” I replied.
He stared at me for a long moment, then seemed to shake himself out of it. “So, like I said, this all happened a few months back. Callum was having cybersex with some girl he met online. She convinced him to send pictures, and I’m not talking about photos of his grannie’s seventieth birthday party. Dumb bastard goes ahead and snaps a bunch of shots of his wedding tackle. Then boom, the next day they’re splashed all over the Internet.”
My hand went to my mouth in shock. “Did they show his face?”
“Nah, he was clever enough to keep the camera downstairs at least. Our PR rep tried spinning it that they were fakes, but nobody really believed that since the girl had screen shots of their entire conversation. The scandal didn’t do him any harm though. It only had more girls coming onto him, since the pictures were a little too complimentary.”
I laughed at that. “Oh yeah?”
“I still say it was a lucky angle.”
“Well, he doesn’t need his ego stroked any more than it already is, that’s for sure.”
Trev cast me a considering glance. “You don’t like Cal much, do you?”
“I don’t not like him. I just find him difficult to warm to.”
“Because of how he treats Leanne?”
I shrugged. “That’s one part of it.”
“Reya, I know you look at them and see a younger version of us, but their situation is completely different. Trust me.”
“So Callum’s just misunderstood?”
“Nope. He’s a dickhead. But he’s a dickhead who has his reasons.”
“We all have our reasons, but there comes a time when we have to decide whether to keep letting them rule our lives or make an effort to change.” Like you’re doing, I wanted to add, but that was a whole other conversation I wasn’t quite ready to get into. A long few moments of quiet passed. Unspoken words drifted heavy in the air between us.
Trev leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he stared out at the city all lit up for the night. He seemed to be considering his words for a minute before he asked, “Do you get touched enough, Reya?”
I blinked, his question blindsiding me. “Um, touched as in—”
“Today when I held your hand you went off on that tangent about hand holding and how you wished adults did it more often,” he replied and turned to meet my eyes. His gaze was thoughtful. “So, I’m asking if you need someone to hold your hand. Or you know, touch you?”
I bit my lip, feeling peculiar from the way he was looking at me. “That doesn’t sound very friendly.”
“It can be whatever you want it to be.”
“I really don’t know what you’re getting at, Trev.”
He raked a hand through his hair and glanced away for a second. “I just don’t like the idea of you feeling lonely. I never did.”
That was funny because in the past he’d constantly left me on my own. “You don’t?”
“Remember the night when we went to that dine-in-the-dark restaurant and I put my foot in my mouth like usual? I said we didn’t need partners because we’d always have each other.”
I did. Too well. It was the first night we slept together. We didn’t have sex, but there’d been intimacy. “Yeah, I got pissed because you were condemning me to a life of spinsterhood.”
Trev’s expression grew pained, probably remembering how hurt I’d been. “It upset me so much to think of you feeling that way, alone and just wanting someone to love you. I felt like a piece of shit for upsetting you.”
“It was a long time ago.”
“I was still a fuckwit. Sometimes I can’t believe how stupid I was back then. I was too blind to see that I was fighting for all the wrong things.”
My chest squeezed. “You’ve got a pretty good life now, so some of the things you were fighting for must’ve been the right ones.”
He didn’t say anything for a few moments, just studied me like I was a storyboard full of thought bubbles. When he spoke his voice was soft. “Even now I don’t like the idea of you being lonely when I’m right here. So, you know, if you ever need someone to—”
“Touch me?” I asked archly. I couldn’t help the smile tugging at my lips.
“Okay, wrong choice of words but you know what I mean. If you ever need company, someone to hold your hand, just come find me, yeah?”
Butterflies fluttered in my chest. What he was offering was just so . . . romantic. Thoughtful. Empathetic. I could never imagine the old Trev offering me something like this, putting my feelings above everything else. It just never would’ve occurred to him. I hate to say it, but he really did take me for granted back then. Then again, can I really blame him when I was so willing to take any scraps he deigned to throw my way?
I stared into his eyes and saw the truth. He was acknowledging how he treated me in the past and he was trying to make up for it. This was his penance. It might’ve bothered me if I couldn’t see the sheer remorse in his eyes for his past actions.
“Okay, Trev, I’ll come find you.”
Happiness flooded his features as a slow smile spread across his lips. He looked thankful for the chance to simply be around me, and it was so bizarre. We sat in quiet for a little while before he spoke again.
“So, what did you want to talk about?” His voice was low and serious. He must’ve sensed this wasn’t going to be an easy topic.
A car horn honked from below; the noise of the city was all around us, even though we were situated in a private little bubble. It felt pleasant to just be alone with him. I turned my body to face him and clasped my hands together.
“I’m pretty sure Barry is trying to work our relationship into the show.”