I drive Eva back to her place in uneasy silence. The mood has shifted. She’s quiet and withdrawn now beside me in the passenger seat, all our earlier laughter forgotten.
Fuck, I hate myself for pushing her back there. But I couldn’t help it. I’ve been patient these last days, waiting for her to confide and share whatever’s on her mind. I thought maybe after that night together, she’d relax and show me some of that old spark again – and she has. Alone in the dark, stripping back all her inhibitions, I’ve seen the old Eva come blazing through. Passionate and wild, a force to be reckoned with.
I thought if we could just talk, if she’d let me in, then all those walls would come tumbling down. Well, I got what I wanted. She told me everything she’s been hiding, but instead of bringing us closer together, those walls are higher than ever and I don’t know how to break through.
I pull up in her driveway. Eva reaches for the door handle, but I catch her other hand, tugging her back to me. “Sure you don’t want me to come in?” I ask, trying to sound casual again, like that tense scene at the beach didn’t just happen. “We could take a shower, get all that sand out.” I wink, and she softens, just a little.
“I have a ton of chores to do. But I’ll see you later.”
“Sure. Later.”
But I’ve still got one weapon in my arsenal. I tilt her chin up and kiss her before she has a chance to leave. Just like always, Eva melts at my touch. This much is simple at least. My hands around her waist, her curves crushed against me, her lips parting to invite me in. I kiss her all out, like I used to those teenage nights in the backseat of my car, breathing heavy and hard for more. I slide one hand over the lush curve of her breast, leaning to nip at her neck and kiss that spot just below her ear that always drives her wild.
Eva shivers against me. “About that shower,” I murmur, teasing her nipple through the cotton of her shirt. “I saw your fixture’s adjustable. We could have some fun with that.”
Eva bites her lip. I’m close to winning her over again. I know she wants me to stay, but today, it’s not enough. “I’ll call about tonight,” she says, sliding out of my embrace and scrambling from the car. “Bye!”
I watch her hurry up the front steps and slam the door behind her.
Damn.
I head home, but I can’t shake the memory of her expression back there on the beach, so brave and forlorn.
I should have been there. Fuck, I never should have left her alone.
But there’s no changing it now. I went off running from my own demons. I thought it was the best thing for both of us, and I guess I couldn’t have been more wrong. But that’s what this town does to you, boxing you in tight with your secrets and fears, until you can’t even breathe anymore.
I look around at the quiet streets as I head back to the rental, and feel that furious itch under my skin. I’ve been pushing it down ever since I got back into town, all those memories I tried to cut loose and move on from. But it’s easy to put the past aside when you’re a thousand miles from the place it happened. Up close, there are ghosts on every corner: the bars I carried my father out of when he was too drunk to stand, the woods I’d go escape to when he was looking to give me another beating again. All over this town there’s nothing but pain for me, but now I see, it’s the same for Eva.
Except she stays.
Fuck. Why is she sticking around after all this time? I don’t understand it. Lottie and Kit are one thing, but she’s put her whole life on hold and doesn’t even seem to realize it.
What will it take to show her there’s a different life out there, if she’ll only take the chance?
I make a sudden decision and wrench the wheel, U-turning right there on the street. A car behind me blares its horn angrily, but I’m already speeding back through town, towards Eva’s place. I know she wanted some space, but I can’t let her retreat back and close up all over again. I need to show here that I’m here for her now, and that whatever she’s going through, she doesn’t have to face it alone this time.
I pull up in the driveway again and knock on the door. Eva opens it, smiling, but her smile fades when she sees it’s me.
“Finn.” Her voice is reluctant. She looks away. “I said I’d call you later.”
“I know, but I couldn’t stay away.” I stride forward. “Not with things like this.”
She takes a deep breath, but I still can’t figure out the expression in her eyes. “Things are the way they are.”
“Fuck that,” I curse, and her eyes widen in surprise. “Things are however we want them to be. So don’t land that bombshell on me, and then just shut me out again. We can talk about this.”
“Why?” she shoots back. “It won’t change anything. What’s done is done.”
“How can you say that?” I demand in disbelief. “I’m here now, Eva. I want you to let me in again. I want to be there for you, if you’ll just talk to me.”