“You fuck me every night, and I come, and come, but I never get enough.”
Oh my god. I can’t believe I said that! And worse still, meant every word!
I shiver, feeling the imprint of his fingertips still branded on my skin. I see him. That passionate frenzy in his gaze, the look of slow domination as he unraveled me, piece by glorious piece. I want him, right here. I want to explore that strong body with the same relentless worship he showed me tonight.
A knock on the door breaks through my fantasy.
“Eva?”
Oh God. It’s Finn. His voice is low – and seductive. I’m frozen in place, on the floor just by the door.
He taps again softly. He wants to come in.
My heart beats faster. Fuck, wasn’t this just what I was picturing?
I slowly get to my feet, and reach for the door handle, but something makes me freeze up inside.
I can’t.
I mustn’t.
With super-human control, I yank my hand back, turn, and race up the stairs. I dive into bed fully-clothed and hide under the covers like a kid again. Except this time, the desire running through me is anything but innocent. I’m hiding from the force of my passion, and all the dirty, dirty things Finn could do to me.
Scratch that. Would do.
After a moment, I hear his car engine start, and see the headlights snake away into the dark. I try to ignore my disappointment. I did the right thing.
But damn, I want him bad.
Eleven.
When the man who broke your heart makes you come so hard you see God on the hood of his vintage Mustang, there’s only one thing to do.
Avoid him like the plague.
I manage to stay away from Finn for the next few days, practically moving in with Lottie to avoid being all alone in that big, empty house just waiting for the doorbell to ring and for Finn to stroll inside.
And push me up against the wall… Carry me upstairs… Take me to bed.
I focus on work and the shelter instead, filling every minute of my day with tasks and boring chores and doing my best to put him out of my mind. To his credit, Finn gives me my space. After a couple of calls I leave unreturned he doesn’t push it, but that’s almost worse. I know him, and I know he doesn’t give up so easily. If he’s staying away, it’s because he’s got a different plan in mind.
Or maybe he’s finally seen the light, and realizes that this is only going to end in heartache again, that for all the pleasure we could feel right now, it’s not worth the future pain. Either way, the week drags on with infinite slowness, my mind waging a bitter war. Every moment I spend away could be one I spend kissing him.
Or more.
Even Delilah has enough of my obsessive activity. “That’s it!” she declares, when she comes back to work after a viewing appointment to find me reorganizing the filing system. Stacks of paper litter the floor, and I’ve got my new label-maker out, marking everything down to ‘Papers, old, miscellaneous’. “You need to quit this, and get laid.”
“Dee!” I exclaim, glad that our boss is out for the afternoon and not around to hear.
“I’m saying this because I love you.” Delilah adds, walking over. She tries to take the label maker from my hand. I hold on tight. “Eva,” she warns me, wrestling it away from me. “This isn’t healthy. Come on, stop this madness before you do yourself a real injury.”
“I’m fine!” I let go suddenly, and the label maker flies across the room, knocking a framed photo off the ledge.
“Sure, this is what fine looks like.” Delilah snorts. “Look, I’ve got a gift-card to Babeland I was saving, but clearly you need it more than me. If you refuse to go for the real deal, let’s get you some toys before you explode.”
I give her a look. “That won’t help. Trust me, I’ve tried.” I add meaningfully. She laughs.
“Poor baby, all wound up and no place to go.”
“I do have somewhere to go. That’s the problem.” I set about cleaning up the broken glass picture frame. “I know exactly what’s waiting for me on the other side of town, with his sexy eyes and manly beard, and all those lean muscles…”
I feel a spritz of cold water and yelp. Delilah has the plant sprayer, and an evil grin on her face. “You need a cold shower,” she points out, laughing.
I can’t help but giggle too. “I need the whole damn ice bucket challenge!” I put the glass in the trash, then wander back over to her desk. Delilah’s browsing listings and slurping a Diet Coke. I linger, drumming my fingertips. “You understand why I’m doing this, right?” I ask.
Delilah rolls her eyes affectionately. “Sure I do. You’re turning down the hottest guy in the country because you’re scared of getting hurt.”
I feel defensive. “You make it sound like it’s no big deal, getting your heart broken like that.”
Delilah gives a wry smile. “I wouldn’t know. I’ve never loved anyone enough to get hurt when it’s over. Usually my relationships end when I sneak out the next day.”