“Why not, Gris? You know you’ll have to eventually. You can’t keep me forever. Not against my will.”
“It won’t be against your will forever, Elle,” he said. “You’ll change your mind. You’ll love me again, like you used to. I know you will.”
“I never loved you, Gris. I thought I did, but it wasn’t love.”
“How can you say that?” he said. There was genuine sadness in his voice and Elle felt a pang of sympathy for him, despite what he was doing to her and what he’d done to Forrester.
“Because I didn’t know who I was, Gris. And if you don’t know who you are, you can’t really love another person. Not properly, anyway.”
“What do you mean, you didn’t know who you were?”
“Think about it, Gris. You know the story of my childhood. You’re the only person I ever told it to.”
“Yeah, I know it. So what? I didn’t exactly have a rosy childhood myself.”
“I know that,” Elle said. “But it meant that when you met me, when you came along, I was still trying to figure out the really basic things about my life. I was trying to figure out who I was, what I wanted, what kind of a person I was going to become. I didn’t know what I wanted, Gris. I didn’t know what I deserved.”
“And now you do?”
“Yes. I do.”
“And you deserve more than me, is that it?”
Elle looked at him compassionately. Despite wanting desperately to leave him, she still found it difficult to tell him this. She wasn’t used to asking for what she wanted, or saying it out loud.
“That is it, Gris. I want more. And I deserve more.”
“What’s so bad about my love?” Gris said, becoming strangely vulnerable all of a sudden.
“Nothing,” Elle said. “It is what it is. And I hope you can continue to grow, and become a more loving person in the future. If you do, you’ll be able to give some girl, some day, the love she deserves.”
“But not you?”
“Not me, Gris. I’ve already found the love I want, back in Stone Peak. And I want to be with him. Forrester claimed my heart. I’m his now, and nothing you can do will be able to change that.”
Gris nodded. He knew that what Elle was saying was true, but it was still hard for him to accept. Perhaps it was too hard. Elle couldn’t tell. All she knew was that she no longer feared Gris. She just hoped, for his own sake, that he wouldn’t cause trouble for himself and get into a fight with Forrester.
Forrester was the exact opposite of Gris. Forrester had real strength. If it came to a fight, Forrester might kill Gris. He would only do it if he had to. Elle knew that. But it would still be a tragedy for Gris. It wasn’t his fault that he came from where he came from. It wasn’t his fault that bad things had happened to him when he was a child. But it was his responsibility now to overcome it, and become a better man than his own father had been. He was responsible for the man he would become, same as everyone else, and he still had a chance to make some woman happy some day. If he only made the right decisions now.
Gris locked the doors.
“We’re going to sleep here for a few hours. I can’t drive in this weather without some rest.”
“We’ll freeze,” Elle said.
“I’ll keep the engine running so that we have heat.”
“What if I’m not here when you wake up?” Elle said.
Gris shrugged. “You’ll be here, Elle. Because we’re still not far from Stone Peak. If you’re not here when I wake up, I’m going back to that jail, and I’m killing that man you think you’re in love with. You’re not in love with him. It’s an infatuation, plain and simple.”
Elle sighed. She’d thought she was getting through to him. She’d thought he might let her go. It was probably too much to hope that someone could change that much in such a short time. Over time, Gris might become a better man, but not today. You can’t expect miracles from people, especially after they’ve had a life like Gris’s.
Chapter 38
Forrester
FORRESTER FELT DIZZY BUT HE forced himself to his feet. Maybe it was a sign of how out of it he was, but he could have sworn he saw Elle’s face at the window in the door at the end of the corridor before he’d lost consciousness.
It couldn’t have been her.
He knew that. But still, the thought of her gave him strength. He didn’t know how much time had passed since Gris had knocked him out but he didn’t care. He couldn’t afford to wait any longer. He had a girl out there, somewhere, waiting for him, and he couldn’t stand not being with her for another second.
The light coming from the window told him it was about dawn. He must have been out cold for the night. He looked toward the door.
Right there, he thought. That’s where I saw her.
He wasn’t sure if it had been a dream or not. He could see movement out in the office. The sheriff was out there, with the four boys who’d been helping Gris.
“Sheriff,” Forrester called. “Sheriff, I’m awake.”
The door opened and the sheriff came through to the jail, followed by the boys.