“I won’t be safe here. No one will be safe here now. This will start a war. If they caught Jackson, they’ll know the Brotherhood was involved.”
“They don’t know about the Brotherhood,” Grant said. “No one does.”
“So they won’t come here?”
“They have no reason to. As far as they know, Jackson was a lone gun who bought information from them.”
“Even with Wolf dead, the other Lobos will always want me dead,” I said.
“They’d kill you if they came across you, out of loyalty to Wolf,” Grant said. “But they won’t hunt you the way Wolf would have.”
“That’s true.”
“And besides, we’ll protect you,” Grant said. “We’ll always protect you, and your baby. All of us will.”
“I can’t ask you to do that.”
“You don’t have to,” Lacey said. “We’ve already discussed it. Los Lobos have lost two of the twelve. They don’t know about us. None of the remaining Lobos will be overly concerned with your whereabouts. With Wolf dead, Jackson made it safe enough for you to start a new life. With the Brotherhood at your side, you’ll be able to make a go of it here, in the Socorro Valley, with us.”
“How can I stay here without Jackson?” I said. “It’s my fault you lost him.”
“You’re not going anywhere, Faith,” Lacey said. “You’re part of the Brotherhood now. You’re Jackson’s girl. He chose you for a reason, and even in death, we look after our own.”
I knew what she was saying made sense. Jackson had made sure to burn himself into my very soul. It wasn’t just some fling, we’d had. It wasn’t just an affair. It was something deep. It went right to the core of my body. My heart belonged to Jackson and it always would. My soul belonged to him. He’d dominated me in every way a man could dominate a woman. He’d put his seed in the deepest parts of my body. If I was ever going to escape his grasp, I couldn’t see how. I couldn’t see myself ever being with another man. I was tied to the Brotherhood now, and I always would be.
I vowed then to do my best. Life would go on, and I would make the best of it. Jackson had given his life to protect me, and now that I had the Brotherhood at my side. I could at least try to make a new life for myself. I couldn’t allow the sacrifice Jackson had made to go to waste. I owed it to him to make something of my life.
And I would start immediately.
“Lacey,” I said.
“Yes?”
“Will you do something for me?”
“Of course, Faith. I’ll do anything.”
“Will you take me to a drug store?”
“Yes, I will,” she said, smiling at me kindly.
I was quiet in the car. It was my first time leaving the house since I’d arrived, and I felt like an inmate who’d just been released from prison.
Everything around us was beautiful in the morning sunlight. The town was so pretty. They called it the Hills because it was perched high above the valley. It was the ideal place to start a new life. It was the kind of place I’d always pictured myself living. It was the kind of place where I could raise my child.
We got to the drug store and there was only one thing I needed—a pregnancy test.
“Do you think it’s too early for me to take it?” I said to Lacey when we were back in the car.
“Probably,” she said. “What does the package say?”
I couldn’t read the fine print on the side of the package. I was crying again.
Chapter 21
Faith
I’D NEVER HAVE THOUGHT I’D be the one to say this, but no matter what happens to you, one thing is always certain.
Life goes on.
Especially when you’re singlehandedly raising a little boy.
With the help of Lacey and the Brothers, I got set up in a nice house up in the Hills, overlooking the valley. It was the kind of place I’d dreamed of as a little girl. It was a beautiful stone house on one of the older streets in Rio Secco’s expensive downtown. It had originally been built by a Spanish ship captain for his wife, and the colonial influence gave it such charm.
I felt it was an appropriate house for me because of what had happened to the Spanish sailor. After building the house, he’d brought his wife to California from the colonial capital in Mexico. From what I could find out at the records office, they’d had a happy life there together. At least for a time. They planted the trees that now shaded the mosaic swimming pool. They brought the red, clay tiles up from the coast that were now scattered in the driveway. And they’d had a son. A year after their son’s birth, the sailor was lost at sea and the wife raised the baby alone in the house.
Despite the tragedy, I took it as a good omen for what I was doing.