Heart-Shaped Hack

“I don’t steal it. I appropriate it from people who shouldn’t have it in the first place. Then I give it to those who are more deserving.”


Kate twisted her napkin. “I can’t keep the money. I’ve already spent the first two donations, but if you come back to the food pantry with me, I can return the most recent one. It’s still locked in the safe because I wasn’t planning on going shopping until tomorrow.”

“No, Katie. I don’t want it back. It’s for you. It’s for the babies.”

“It’s wrong,” she said quietly.

“Is it?”

“It’s against the law.”

“Trust me when I say the people I took it from don’t want the law involved any more than I do.”

“What are you saying? That you’re a thief who steals from other thieves?”

He wrinkled his nose, and it was adorable.

Stop! Thief!

“It sounds so distasteful when you say it like that. I prefer master appropriator of ill-gotten funds. You can call me master for short.”

“I have lots of things I’d like to call you. Master is not one of them.”

“That’s okay, Katie Brown Eyes, as long as the other names are favorable.”

“Stop that! We are not on a nickname basis.”

“After seeing how riled up you’re getting? Not a chance.”

“Am I supposed to accept that this is okay because you’re stealing money that has already been stolen once? Instead of giving it to charitable organizations, why not give it back to the people it was stolen from in the first place?”

“I only wish I could, but it’s a bit more complicated than that.”

“I’m pretty sharp. I can probably keep up.”

“I’ve no doubt that you could.”

“But you’re not going to tell me.”

“Not right now.”

Kate let out a frustrated sigh.

“I assure you that you can spend the money with a clear conscience,” Ian said.

“You can’t assure me, because now I know it once belonged to someone else. And there lies my ethical dilemma.”

“You’ll have to take my word for it then.”

His word? Was he crazy? “I’m just trying to help people, Ian. I don’t like the position you’ve put me in.”

“Please don’t be upset with me. I really do want you to keep the money. For the babies.”

Kate picked up her muffin, but she’d lost her appetite so she put it back down and brushed the crumbs from her hands. “You said you felt like talking to me again. Why? What do you want?”

“I thought maybe we could be friends.”

“A few days ago you hadn’t decided whether you even wanted to introduce yourself.”

“Clearly I’ve made my decision.”

“Why would you want to be friends? You hardly know me.”

“You’d be amazed at what I know about you, Katie.”

Oh, yes. The credit card. She’d have to cancel that immediately. And she’d choose a new, stronger online password that Ian would not be able to crack.

“I appreciate the donations very much, and I will spend the last one because my clients desperately need it, but I don’t want any more of your money. And I really don’t see us becoming friends.”

Kate had been harboring some fairly romantic fantasies about running into Ian again, but in not one of those fantasies had she ever cast him as anything other than the hero, and certainly never the villain. He had ruined everything.

“I’ll win you over eventually. I’m very charming that way.” As he got up and walked away, he turned and said over his shoulder, “Until next time, Katie.”





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