The ‘mad scramble’ for the knife we both described in court was nothing of the sort, although only I knew this.
I knew that Jamie had to die if we were all to live.
The sketch I had of what Kit had done sent me wild with fury. Let the blood be on your hands, I thought. I will not give birth in prison. I will not give up a second’s liberty for you.
All those years playing pool taught me about trajectory and precision, and I also learned how to bluff. I knew exactly what I was doing as my fingertips bounced the knife Kit’s way, and I watched with satisfaction as his faithless hand closed around the hilt.
Acknowledgements
Thanks to my fabulous new editor Ruth (I have thoroughly enjoyed my first Trossing), Louise Swannell, Leni Lawrence, Cicely Aspinall, Naomi Berwin, Penny Isaac, and all at Hodder and Stoughton.
To the wonderful team at United Agents: Sarah Ballard and Zoe Ross, Margaret Halton, Amy Mitchell, Joey Hornsby, Eli Keren and Georgina Gordon-Smith.
My learned friends: Daniel Murray, Bathsheba Cassell, Harriet Tyce, Gemma Cole and Chris Law. Special thanks are due to the author and lawyer Neil White, who answered a tweet asking for ‘five minutes’ of his time and was still fielding daily emails six months later. Any legal or procedural mistakes are mine, and there will be no further questions.
To the coven: Mel McGrath, Louise Millar, Jane Casey, Laura Wilson, Kate Rhodes, Sarah Hilary, Serena Mackesy, Helen Smith, Denise Meredith, Ali Turner, Alison Joseph, Katie Medina, Helen Giltrow, Louise Voss, Colette McBeth, Paula Hawkins, Tammy Cohen and Nikoline Nordfred Eriksen.
Thank you Helen Treacy and her indefatigable red pen, Sali Hughes for calling BS on hippies, and Julia Crouch and Claire McGowan for always knowing whether I need wine or tea.
Finally, and above all, thank you to my family: Mum and Jude, Dad and Susan, Owen and Shona. And to Michael, Marnie and Sadie. I love you.
I’d like to acknowledge the following resources:
Carnal Knowledge: Rape On Trial by Sue Lees
Eve Was Framed: Women and British Justice by Helena Kennedy, QC
Total Addiction: The Life of An Eclipse Chaser by Dr Kate Russo
Totality: Eclipses of the Sun by Fred Espenak, Mark Littman and Ken Wilcox ‘Dancing in the Cosmic Sweet Spot’ blog: Graham St John