“I haven’t seen much of you over the last few weeks and I’ve got the morning off so I figured I’d drop in and see how you’re going.”
His voice held none of the anger or tension it had since he’d discovered I was seeing Havoc. The combination of that and my high caused my frustrations with him to subside. “I’ve missed you,” I said. It was the truth. Feeling disconnected from him had been hard, but my stubbornness had prevented me from reaching out.
He rubbed the back of his neck, a pained look settling on his face. “Fuck, this has all gotten out of hand. I was just trying to look out for you.”
I reached for his hand and squeezed it. “I know. And I just wanted to do something in my life without you going all dad on me. Between us we had no chance. We’re both so damn stubborn.”
“That’s the fuckin’ truth.”
I let his hand go. “So where are you at with Havoc?”
He blew out a long breath. “I’m reserving judgement for now, but I’m not gonna give you hell over it anymore.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“I saw the way you were at the clubhouse the other night and now here today. You’re different, more confident, and I think Havoc has helped with that. He’s not the guy I’d choose for you, but even I can see what being with him has done for you.”
A smile tugged at my lips. “How hard was that for you to admit?”
I’d expected him to scowl or to tell me where to go. Instead, he surprised me again. “Let’s just say I won’t be having this same conversation with Havoc.”
“What do you mean? You’re not going to talk to him at all?”
“Oh we’ll be talking. I’ll be making it clear what will happen if he fucks you over.”
“I love you, Nash. Thank you for looking out for me.” Where annoyance would have once sat, gratitude pushed its way in. I wasn’t exactly sure how that had happened, but somewhere along the way I’d changed. And thank God because it was a hell of a lot easier not to argue with him.
He nodded. “Always, babe. Anytime you need me, I’m here for you.”
I dropped my gaze for a moment, thinking about our father’s visit that morning. When I found his eyes again, I said, “Dad came to see me this morning.”
He clenched his jaw. “What did he say?”
“Just that he’s sick and can’t I understand why he never came back.”
“Did you let him in?”
“Fuck no. His excuses are weak. He’s weak. I’ve gotten this far in my life without him and I sure as hell don’t need him now.”
He pulled me close and wrapped me in a hug. His lips brushed across my forehead as he held me.
No more words were exchanged but we didn’t need them.
All I needed was his assurance he would always be there for me.
Love is a verb.
And although his actions were sometimes not what I would have preferred, Nash’s love for me couldn’t be denied.
32
Havoc
“Pass me a beer,” J said as I searched the fridge in the clubhouse for a drink.
“Summer’s coming,” I said as I handed him the beer. The heat had ratcheted up that morning and the air conditioning in the clubhouse struggled to keep us cool. I’d arrived about an hour ago and my shirt clung to me in places.
J took a swig of his drink. “Gonna be hot out there on your bike. Maybe you should think about sticking around town instead.”
My gaze met his. “I considered it, but I’m itching to get back on the road.”
“What does Carla think about you leaving?”
A week had passed since she and I discussed our plans to travel together and since then we’d made a loose plan for where we would head first.
“She’s coming with me.”
He raised his brows. “Nash know about this yet?”
I downed some beer. “I’m gonna catch up with him about it today. We haven’t spoken for awhile.”
“Good luck, brother. He’s a stubborn asshole sometimes.”
“Who’s a stubborn asshole?” Nash asked, joining us.
J chuckled. “You.” He drank some more beer before adding, “I’m outta here. Like I said, good luck.”
After he left, Nash eyed me. “Carla tell you I spoke with her last week?”
“Yeah. I thought I would have heard from you after that.”
“I’ve been busy with shit.” He reached into the fridge and retrieved a beer.
I decided now was as good a time as any to break our news to him. “I’m leaving town in a couple of weeks and Carla’s coming with me.”
He didn’t react the way I thought he would. There was no instant anger that Nash was known for, but rather an acceptance of sorts. “Figured that was on the cards. Doesn’t mean I love the idea but I’m done fighting you two. Carla’s a grown woman now and far as I can tell, she’s happy with you. So long as she stays happy, I won’t step in again. But mark my fuckin’ words, Havoc, the minute I discover you’ve done something that hurts her, you’ll be in a world of hurt.”