“Is there enough for Havoc if he can come?”
She nodded. “Absolutely.”
I gave her a kiss and swiped my car keys off the table. “I’ll let you know who’s coming later today,” I promised as I headed outside to my car.
Hope swirled through me. Maybe I could convince Nash to give Havoc a go. We didn’t need his blessing to carry on with seeing each other, but it would make life easier for everyone.
* * *
“Hey Carla,” J greeted me when I arrived at the Storm clubhouse. He was on his way inside when I pulled into the car park. He stopped and waited for me.
“Hi, J.”
“You looking for Nash?”
I nodded as I eyed the building. It was rare that I visited the place. “Yeah, can you see if he’s in for me? I’ll just wait out here.”
He gestured for me to come in. “You don’t have to wait out here.”
I shook my head. “I want to have a conversation with him and I think it’s best to do it in private.”
“No worries. I’ll go find him.”
A few minutes later, Nash walked towards me with a grim look on his face.
“Hey, you,” I greeted him, trying to keep a friendly tone in my voice.
“Mum tell you I called over to see you this morning?” Yeah, he was pissed.
“She did. I was gonna come see you anyway. We need to talk.”
“You know where I stand on this, Carla.”
My hope faltered.
This was going to be harder than I thought.
I dropped my gaze and stared at the ground while trying to get my thoughts together. This had to come out right because I was sure I only had one shot at changing his mind.
He reached for my chin and lifted my face. For the first time since this had all started, I saw care there. “Talk to me.” His voice had softened and while I briefly wondered where that had come from, I didn’t want to ponder it for too long. God only knew how long it would last.
“Dad leaving and never wanting anything to do with me caused a shitload of insecurities for me, Nash. I’m sure you realise that, but I’m not sure you realise just how deep they run. I promised myself a long time ago that I’d never end up with a man like our father. I wanted a nice guy, a steady man who would never let me down. The trouble was I never believed myself worthy of that, so I kept choosing the wrong men. When I met Havoc, it honestly was only supposed to be a quick fling. A biker wasn’t in my life plan, no offence.”
Listening intently, he nodded at that.
“I know you’ve said Havoc is violent and dangerous for me, and for sure, I’ve seen his temper. But he’s never once shown me any violence. In fact, he’s gone out of his way to give me the opposite. He also gives me honesty in a way that no other man ever has. He respects me and doesn’t tell me I have to change who I am. And he’s super protective of me.” I paused, waiting for him to say something, but he didn’t, so I continued, “Nash, you’ve seen me with other guys. You know that I’m a mess most of the time if I’m dating someone. Do I look like a mess at the moment? Do I seem unhappy and insecure?”
I watched him closely to gauge his reaction and I could have sworn I saw conflict work its way across his face. But in the end he said, “Carla, you haven’t known Havoc as long as I have and you haven’t seen the shit I’ve seen. I know you think you know him, but you don’t. And he might be giving you all those things now, but we all know relationships start off with best behaviour. It won’t last.”
My mouth fell open. I’d stood there and been honest with him and all he could give me in return was that? “You’re not willing to even stop and consider what I’ve said?”
His jaw clenched. “I did, but it doesn’t change anything.”
“Oh, my God, you frustrate me, Nash! You always think you know best. Let me tell you, you don’t know best on this.”
He stiffened. “You’re not going to stop seeing him, are you?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Fuck, Carla. You never fuckin’ learn when it comes to men. I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
“I’ve heard you loud and clear. If he hurts me, I’ll own that. But can you at least give us the chance to see where this goes without harassing him?”
He stood there fuming and I thought for sure he was going to continue arguing with me. In the end, though, he jabbed his finger at me and declared, “If he so much as causes you one tear, he’s fuckin’ dead.”
With that, he turned and left. I stayed rooted to the spot, stunned at what he’d said. Just before he disappeared inside, I yelled out, “Dinner tonight at Mum’s. You and Velvet are invited.”
He didn’t turn back or stop, but rather nodded and said, “We’ll be there.”
I failed to mention that Havoc was invited.
Tonight would either be an epic failure or new beginnings for all of us.
25
Havoc