“I need no mittens,” he tells me and presses a kiss to my forehead. “The weather is warm enough for sa-khui.”
I look out into the heavily falling snow and sigh. He’s not wrong, but I still don’t like it. “And you have my firestarter?” I touch my neck, now bare. Normally the humans all wear one of the computer parts brought back from the Elders’ Ship, because they’re made of some sort of graphite or metal or something that sparks easily to make fire. I don’t plan on leaving the cave, however, so I’ve given mine to him.
He reaches under his cloak and shows me the necklace. “It is here.”
I nod slowly. I can’t think of any other things to ask him. “You’ve got food? And drink? And—“
Cashol cups my face with his free hand. “I will be fine. Now, come, devour my face like Jo-see is devouring Haeden’s.”
I look over and Josie has her arms flung around Haeden’s much bigger form. She even has a leg hooked around his hips and he’s got her lifted into the air as they suck face. It’s…pretty impressive. I’m envious because she’s still small and lithe and I’m…well, ‘lumbering’ is probably the kindest word. I pat my huge belly. “You’re going to have to settle for a more sedate hug and kiss, I’m afraid. I’ve got a bit of a roadblock.”
Cashol grins and gives me a smacking kiss, then leans down and gives the same to my belly. “You must be good, Gancas, my son. Do not come before I return home.”
“That is a terrible name,” I point out. Jesus, he’s awful at naming, but it makes me smile to hear it. Better than ‘Goof’. “And it might be a girl, remember?”
“It is not,” he says, smoothing a hand over my belly in the hopes of catching the baby kicking one last time. “Rokan says it is a boy and Rokan is never wrong about these things.”
I make a face. It feels like a girl to me, but…Rokan does have a pretty uncanny ability to predict small things. “Speaking of Rokan, what’s he say about the weather?”
Cashol hops to his feet again and gives me another kiss. “He says you should kiss your mate and send him on his way.”
That’s…not a good answer. “Cashol? What’s Rokan say about the weather?” I’d go find Rokan myself but he left the cave on a journey with one of the new girls yesterday.
“He says it will snow.” Cashol shrugs. “It does not matter if it is little snow or much snow, I still must hunt.”
I swallow hard. This isn’t helping my anxiety much. “How long will you be gone?”
“Until the caches on my trail are full. It might be two hands of days, or it might be less.”
“Your hands or mine?” I ask, wiggling my four fingers at him. He’s only got three and a thumb.
He grins. “Does it matter?”
“It matters to me!”
He sets his spear aside and puts his hands on my shoulders. “Meh-gan,” he says, voice so gentle that it makes my insides ache. “I will be back when I have done my job as a hunter. It does not mean I will not miss you. It does not mean I will not think of you and your sweet smile every waking moment. It means I will be providing for you and our son. And I will be back in time to see him born, I promise.”
The hot tears that I’ve been fighting to hold back come pouring out in a rush of snot and sobbing. “Okay,” I blubber at him. “I love you, Cashol.”
“I love you, my resonance.” He kisses me on the mouth, even though I’m probably not very cute at the moment. “And I will be back.”
I nod and do my best not to cling to him as he pulls away from me. I wave goodbye as he picks up his spear again and heads out, joined by Haeden. It takes everything I have not to run after him, screaming for him to take me with him, but that wouldn’t be dignified or practical.
Still, it does my evil, awful heart good to see Josie sniffling beside me. At least I’m not suffering alone. I put an arm around her waist and give her an awkward hug. “Come on, let’s go have some kah-hraku-tea and drown our sorrows.”
Her little sob is punctuated by a disgusted laugh.
It isn’t until I lie down for a nap that I realize there’s a lump in the bed, under the covers. It digs into my back and I pull it out awkwardly.
It’s a…well, I’m not entirely sure what it is. The sa-khui use bone for the majority of their daily utility needs, since there’s not a Pottery Barn anywhere nearby. This rounded disk could be a plate or the makings of something else entirely, if it weren’t for the weird decorations on it. There’s a hole bored through the center with a leather cord tied through it, and it’s colored with a very messy looking squiggle. It’s…almost like a K? Or a M. Which makes me wonder.
I sit up and study it. I’ve never seen it before, but it’s in my bed so it was clearly meant for me. Is it sloppy handwriting? Something else?
Confused, I haul my ungainly body back out of bed, wrap a warm fur around me, and pad into the main cavern again.