And because having my mate wash my hair is one of my favorite things in the world, I don’t put up a fuss even though I can’t quite shake the feeling that something bad’s about to happen. Cashol is attentive as ever as he helps me pull my layers of clothing off, and his arms are strong as he helps me into the water. He strips down and climbs in next to me and then pulls me against him. He sits on one of the little ledges under the surface of the water and I rest my arms on his thighs as his fingers undo my coronet of braids.
I relax against him, my eyes sliding closed. The warmth of the hot spring does feel amazing on my lower back, and the heavy pull of the baby’s weight on my front is non-existent in the water. I’m so ready to give birth, but I’ve still got a few more weeks at the very least. My baby hasn’t dropped, and Maylak - the tribe’s healer - seems to think I’ll carry right up until the last moment. Which sucks. Nine months is a long time to be pregnant, and that’s a normal human pregnancy. Because I’ve been knocked up by an alien? I have a full fifteen months of pregnancy (give or take some wiggle room) which feels like forever. Though I suppose it could be worse - Maylak’s been pregnant since we landed here almost two years ago and she’s still got about a year to go.
Cashol finishes undoing my braids and gives my arm a little tap. That’s my signal to dunk my head, and I do so, holding onto his leg. When I resurface, I settle back in against him and the sweet scent of the soapberries fills my nose as he crushes them into a paste and then begins to work it into my hair. I’m relaxed and feeling wonderful as I lean against him.
The sound of a crying baby makes me open my eyes and I glance over. Josie’s awkwardly handing Elsa back to Nora, and as I watch, Josie’s mate Haeden approaches and gives Josie an affectionate nuzzle. It’s strange to see, considering that Haeden’s a rather standoffish, surly sort, but Josie melts against him and I’m happy for her.
Seeing Haeden reminds me of his comments, though, and I touch Cashol’s knee. “So what did Vektal talk to you about?”
His long fingers massage my scalp. “We can talk about it later, my lovely mate. It is not important.”
Uh huh. If it wasn’t important, he’d have already told me about it. I turn in the water and narrow my eyes at him. “You might as well tell me now, while the cavern isn’t full of people, so I can pitch my fit in front of as few as possible.”
He gives me one of those heartbreakingly gorgeous crooked smiles and then glances around the cavern. It’s just Nora and her babies, and Josie and her mate, and anytime you get Josie and Haeden together lately, they tend to forget about everyone else. I see them heading off, possibly to go back to their own cave and uh, ‘reconnect’. People do that a lot in the first flush of resonance. I know from experience.
Cashol brushes his fingertips over my forehead, wiping away sudsy juice. His smile fades a little. “Vektal is just worried.”
A knot forms in the pit of my stomach. “About?”
“The brutal season.” His fingers trace over my skin, less about cleaning up and more about just touching me. “Our storage caches are nearly empty. We must all work hard to replenish them so no one goes hungry over the cold months when it is difficult to leave the caves.” He skims my cheek. “There are many more mouths to feed this time.”
“Vektal wants you to go out on the hunt, doesn’t he?” My voice is flat. Just the idea of Cashol leaving my side for days on end - even weeks - fills me with terror. The other hunters leave for days at a time regularly, and it’s just a thing. It’s a necessary evil, and when they return, their mates are always thrilled to greet them again. They reunite for a few days, hunt near the caves to be with their families for a bit, and then inevitably go back out on the trails, because everyone depends on them for food. It’s a fact of life on the ice planet.
Except…for my mate.
Ever since we resonated to each other, Cashol hasn’t gone out. There’s nothing wrong with him. He’s not injured, not sick, not weak. He hunts small game near the caves and keeps me company. I’ve even gone out hunting with him, back before my belly grew to a monstrous size.
I accept that I’m clingy and just slightly a bit too needy to be normal. I don’t care, either. With my mate at my side? I’m happy. Let Haeden say what he wants.
But Cashol’s small nod sends an icy dagger right through my gut.
I wrap my arms around his calf, clinging to him. “I don’t want you to go.”
Again, he smiles. “I am not leaving just yet. There is time still. But I will have to go out, soon. As I have said, there are many that depend on us and there are more mouths to feed.”
Those are Vektal’s words, and I don’t care how practical they are. I bite my lip. “I don’t want you to go,” I say again, panic surging through me. “I’m so close to having the baby.”
Cashol’s eyes widen and he pulls me up into his lap in the water, his hand roaming my enormous belly. “Is my son arriving? Has he dropped?” It’s a word he’s picked up from pregnancy-speak among all the pregnant humans.
The excitement on his face just makes me more depressed. “No, he’s still in the same spot he ever was.” I rest my hand over Cashol’s big, three-fingered one. “Still a few weeks to go I’m afraid.”