Not that he lived.
A loud bang sounds on the other side of the closed door. My heart skips a beat and I jump from my spot at the head of the bed. The darkness makes me jumpy. I don’t know what it is, but the solitude kind of freaks me out.
The hinges on the door creak as it opens. Light filters in, bringing with it a sort of relief. Two figures appear in the doorway—one large and bulking, and one small and slender—casting a shadow over the bed and most of my body and face. Their bodies are pressed together. The larger body sandwiches the smaller one between himself and the door frame. My stomach drops and my mouth goes dry. I have to push back the hurt and remind myself that while I’m technically his, it doesn’t mean he’s even remotely mine.
Because even though it’s been over two years since I’ve seen him, I’d know him anywhere. Not many people get to be Wyatt’s size, and nobody carries themselves the way he does. When he walks, it’s with this humble confidence that just radiates, but he’s totally void of any arrogance. At least that’s who he is when he’s sober.
The woman he’s with giggles. She fucking giggles as his hands trail up and down the sides of her body. Jesus Christ, the sorry fuck is hooking up with girls now. Grown-ass women don’t giggle, and we’re too damn old to be fucking around with coeds. The little bitch—not that I’m pissed about having to watch my old man maul a damn teenybopper or anything—flips the light switch, basking the room in a soft yellow light. I cringe, blinking away the spots in my vision. Once I’m able to see clearly again, I steel myself to face the only man I’ve ever loved.
I clear my throat and snicker when the girl turns to face me. She can’t be more than a year or two out of high school, if even. She’s your basic bottle blonde with too much makeup and not enough pretty to back it up.
“Oh shit,” he whispers.
My eyes travel from the whore to Wyatt. I have to actively work to suck in a breath. His light brown hair hangs down to around his hulking shoulders. He’s still beautiful even if he has totally lost that youthful, boyish beauty he used to have. It’s been seventeen years since I met this man, but his eyes are the same. The narrow shape makes him look like he’s always grouchy even when he’s laughing, but the blue-green color is inviting and makes him seem almost gentle—like an enormous teddy bear—even though he’s definitely not. I get lost in his eyes just like I do every night as I tell our son and baby girl that I love them. Piper’s eyes are rounder, but the color is spot-on, and when she gets mad, there’s no doubting who her daddy is. Zander is another story. As he’s grown and become more of a man, I see less and less of myself in him and more of his father. Sometimes so much so that it’s painful.
Coming back to my senses, I adjust wiggle my wrists to give the pair a little wave. With the brightest, fakest smile I can muster, I say, “Honey, I’m home.”
CHAPTER 2
“Get in the chapel, shitheads,” Grady yells from behind the bar. His deep voice startles me from the half nap I had going on. Fucker. We don’t have Church for another few minutes, but he’s trying to step out early so he can get on the road to go see Miss Priss down in the city. That kid’s his world, so I get it, but for fuck’s sake, let a brother nap.
I pry one eye open just long enough to see that nobody’s really moving yet. They know his game, and they’re not playing it either. With that knowledge, I close my eye and try to regain some fucking peace. Diesel isn’t even back yet from wherever the fuck he went.
It doesn’t take long for people to migrate my direction—one set of heavy boots and another set that clicks. Christ, if a chick is heading this way, they’re probably going to be fucking yapping and talk-blocking my goddamn nap. Not that this is the best place to catch a few z’s, but my place is too dirty to get comfortable in. I need a steady bitch for some regular pussy, a few home-cooked meals, and a little maid service.
“You ready for this?” It’s Ruby. I’d know her voice anywhere. It’s not exactly soft in tone, but it’s gentle while still sounding self-assured in a way that only she can pull off.
The next voice I hear is Pop’s. He grunts before using his words and saying, “Never gonna be ready, but it’s time.”
It’s time.
Those two words make my body lock up, my lungs reject oxygen, and my mind go blank.
It’s time.
I know it’s coming. We talked about it a few months back, but that doesn’t make it any fucking easier.
I’m not ready either, Pop.
“Go,” Ruby says. Jim grunts again and walks off, leaving Ruby behind. I suck in a deep, necessary breath, and try to get back into the napping groove, but it’s no use.