“I’ll get his top rocker, Pres,” Pop says from the other end of the table.
“Asshole,” I say and shake my head. He just had to call me that. “Somebody get Squat in here. I want this meeting over with as soon as fucking possible.”
CHAPTER 3
“This party is shit,” Duke says. He tips his head back and looks over his shoulder at his old lady who’s breastfeeding their baby across the room. Not gonna lie—Nic’s tits have gotten real nice since she had Robin. Not that I’ve been looking since Duke caught me eyeing ’em a few weeks back. There’s a lot of shit brothers don’t care about, but respecting their old ladies is mandatory.
“You’re the one who’s turning this place into Chuck-E-Cheese,” Grady grumbles with a sideways glance at Duke.
“I’m just saying. We didn’t plan anything.”
Neither Grady nor I make a move to get up. The clubhouse isn’t dead, but it’s not hopping either. It’s a weird night, and nobody knew Jim was going to ditch the gavel today, so we weren’t prepared for anything.
“Don’t worry about it,” I say and finish off the beer in my hand. “We’ll have Ruby get something together.”
“Except she’s not the pres’s old lady anymore.” Grady shoots me a taunting grin. I do my best to ignore him. I know what he’s getting at, and I have no interest in going down this road with him.
“And on that note, I’m gonna go find some pussy.”
Standing from the table and surveying the room, I spot two lost girls behind the bar. One is bare at least from the waist up, and the other has just a bra on. They’re quietly talking to one another while wiping down the bar top. With the snap of my fingers, I have their attention, and with the crook of my finger, I have the new girl coming toward me. I haven’t had her yet—don’t even know her name—but she’s here and she’s willing, so she’ll do. Anything to get Amber out of my head.
Grady is a real fucker for bringing her up. It’s not like I can go more than a few hours without thinking about her as it is. I’m on autopilot as I grab a hold of the bitch in front of me and take her mouth. I can’t really feel her touch even though she’s trying to get her hands on every inch of my skin that she can. My body is here in the clubhouse, but my heart and mind are back in Michigan in a grassy field watching a girl give a mean old man the dirtiest look I’ve ever seen.
Amber Wallace isn’t the love of my life.
She’s not the one who got away.
She’s not my old lady.
She’s my everything, and if I weren’t so used to admitting that to myself, I’d feel like the biggest fucking pussy.
I keep my eyes mostly closed as I devour this bitch’s mouth and palm at her ass. My gut twists the closer we get to my room. It’s like a lead balloon that’s getting bigger with every step. The woman in my arms is soft to the touch but not nearly soft enough. It’s not the skin I miss getting lost in. Her curves are all wrong, and her hair is too straight. Nothing about her feels right, and even though I know I’ll be hard enough to pound her pussy once we’re naked, I’m not going to enjoy it the way a man should enjoy getting his dick wet.
Regret is a powerful emotion, and it doesn’t get any easier with the passing of time. If anything, it just gets worse. Days go by, and you don’t chase after her. Then weeks. Months. And finally years go by, and no matter how much you want to drop to your knees and rip your own fucking heart out of your chest for breaking the strongest woman you’ve ever met—you don’t. Because some mistakes can’t be fixed, and there’s no going back.
Not everybody gets a happy ending, and I’ve had to learn to live with that. Even seeing half my brothers get hooked up with old ladies isn’t enough to make me seek out mine. I’ve been down that road more than a time or two, and it always ends with me in a two-week detox. It was fucked enough when I was VP, but as president, I can’t be going off the fucking rails for some pussy that rode somebody else’s dick and walked out on me over a decade ago.
I’ve got the chick pressed up against the door to my room when the lead balloon in my stomach feels like it explodes. Amber isn’t some pussy, and I’ve never believed she cheated on me. I just don’t know how to make any of it any better. I can’t make it hurt less. I can’t make myself forget her. I’m rendered totally inept when it comes to moving on from Amber Wallace.
“Baby, what’s wrong?”