Hate To Love You

I felt those knots start to tighten again, but it wasn’t fear for me this time.

If Shay was going to do anything, so would I. I wouldn’t let him get hurt, either.

Shay jerked forward a step, his head rising in challenge. “What is the fucking deal, then, Cameron? I’d really like to know, because your whole sister thing came out of left field. I didn’t even know I should be watching for a stalker, much less worrying she’d try to beat the shit out of my girlfriend.”

There was the quarterback who led his team on the field, the reason he was the ‘big guy’ on campus. Shay stood alone, but if his entire team were behind him, they would’ve been at the ready to do what he commanded.

He didn’t need them, though.

He looked ready to tear into Cameron by himself and that he would thrive on it.

This was the Shay who beat the shit out of Carruthers and his friend and then attacked them a second time in full view of a police officer.

Cameron seemed to sense it, too, and he held up his hands. “I’m not here to do any harm. I’m supposed to drop off my sister’s keys and then go home. I don’t have any plans to come back here. Trust me.” He paused a second before turning to me. “Look. I get that my sister wanted to hurt you. I do. Honestly. And a part of me hates that. I don’t like knowing that she was going psycho, but you gotta understand—there are no bad guys here. My sister is sick, and my parents are the bad guys in her situation. They’re not getting her the help she needs. They just want to push her off and keep going on all their stupid trips.

“And I’m the bad guy, too, because if they’re not going to deal with her, then I should. And I didn’t. Because I’m selfish, and I’m an asshole, and yeah, a part of me just wanted to be a normal guy partying in college and having a good time before I grow up. So, I’m the bad guy in her situation. She’s the bad guy in your situation, and you never know.” He gestured to me. “You might be the bad guy in someone else’s situation, and you might not even know it. Like I said before, we’re all bad, and we’re all good, and we’re all human, but if you’re standing there thinking that I’m going to be the villain, and I’m going to attack you or something—it ain’t going to happen. Right now, I’m hurting because the girl I hoped to be my wife one day dumped me. And I’m ashamed because I have to drop off keys for my sister, and I don’t even know where her dorm is. I’ve never been to her room. In a year and a half, I didn’t have the time. I came here a lot. One of my best friends lives with Shay. My girlfriend visited my sister, but I can’t even remember the last time I really visited with Phoebe. Maybe she met me at a fast food joint for breakfast before I left to go back to my college.”

He sucked in a breath, letting it out.

His head hung low. “I saw you just now, and I was so pissed at you because I wanted to blame this all on you. And then I saw how scared you were, and you have no idea the shame and anger that ripped me inside because I know that I made my sister feel the same level of fear you just did. But it wasn’t fear, it was hurt. I hurt her, and just my presence hurt you now.” He stopped, his throat moving up and down rapidly.

His chest rose, then paused, and settled down again.

“And I guess I’m sorry for that.” He looked at Shay. “And I’m sorry for being jealous of you in high school. You were the golden boy and you didn’t seem to care. It all happened so naturally for you. I hated you at times. I wanted to be your best friend at times. And I respected you at times. And now I’m just embarrassed to be around you because of my fuck-ups.”

Shay glanced to me.

I knew what happened to him in high school. The golden boy image wasn’t one he donned on purpose. He just didn’t let people know the other side of him.

He coughed. The threat of violence was no longer in the air.

“Look.”

Cameron didn’t seem capable of looking him in the eye, so Shay turned to me. He spoke to Cameron, though, “I’m sorry to hear about Sabrina.”

Cameron lifted his head at that.

Shay looked at him. “I do know how much you loved her. I can only imagine the pain I’d feel if I lost Kennedy.”

I felt a flutter in my chest.

Shay cleared his throat again. “And I hope your sister gets the help she needs.”

Cameron looked away, and his eyes closed tight. He held still a moment before wiping a hand over his face and coughing a few times. “Yeah, man.” He blinked a few times and held his hand out. Shay shook it, and Cameron nodded. “That means a lot.” He stepped back, glancing to me. “I really am sorry for what my sister did.”

I felt his apology and nodded, my chest feeling a little lighter.

I held out my hand. “I can take the keys for you. I’ll give them to Amy.”

Shay’s lip tweaked at her name, and I rolled my eyes. If Cameron got a pass, I could start using the RA’s actual name. Little steps, right?

Cameron ducked his head one last time and held his hand up in a wave.

After he was gone, I could only look at Shay.

“Why do I feel suddenly exhausted and like I shed thirty pounds at the same time?”

His eyes softened as he came toward me. He held his arms open, and I moved into them, my head going to his chest. He cupped the back of it, and cradled me, murmuring by my ear, “Because life can be fucking exhausting, and I think we’re going to be fine now.”

I wound my arms around him, and held him back.

I hoped so.

We ended up going to his place, and after we hung out with our friends, and then went to his bedroom, I started to feel the same thing.

I burrowed into his arms and closed my eyes as his hand smoothed down my back. He murmured, “What happened to you sleeping at your dorm every night this week?”

I laughed, lifting my head. “Maybe Sunday through Thursday nights?”

“It is Thursday for another hour.”

“Maybe I’ll start that on Sunday.” I rose, finding his lips with mine. “Thank you.”

He drew back, frowning slightly. His hand skimmed down my arm. “For what?”

For loving me.

I didn’t say that. Instead, “For being the guy I needed to fall in love with.” We’d been through hell already, and no matter what else was going to come at us, we could handle anything.

Raw emotion moved in his eyes, and he was letting me see inside.

I loved him even more for it.

I kissed him again, and like he said, I knew everything was going to be okay.

And it was.





THE END


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ANTI-STEPBROTHER





Kevin was kissing another girl. And he wasn’t just kissing her—he was inhaling her. He pressed against her, her dark hair twisted in his hands, his lips moving down her throat and lingering between her breasts.

It was a trainwreck.