Hate To Love You

“Hey.” I stopped to wave.

She looked up, a grin spreading over her face. She’d been frowning down at her planner, but put it away as she drew near. Her eyes flicked to Shay. “We meet again.”

“Kristina.”

She nodded. “And everyone knows who you are.” She asked me, “Where have you been all weekend? Oh, my God. You’ve missed a ton.”

“What are you talking about?” I assumed she would’ve seen the dick-in-the-hands video.

Her eyes widened dramatically. “Laura, Sarah, and Casey had a massive fight last night. Massive. I must share the details.”

Shay began edging backward. His eyes found mine. “That’s my exit. I’ll see you later.” He held a hand out toward Kristina. “It was nice seeing you again.”

“You, too.”

Kristina sighed as he left. “I know I have a boyfriend, but damn, girl. He’s gorgeous. I can’t believe you’re still holding out telling the girls about him.”

I groaned. “Are you kidding me? They know about Gage. I’m already stress-eating that situation. I got home from the library and ordered a pizza last night.”

“Did you eat it all?”

“My stomach made me stop after three slices. Don’t judge me. I was hungry.”

“No judgment here. And talking of no judgment,” she whacked my arm, “you didn’t tell me about your video this weekend. I think it went viral yesterday.”

Kristina grabbed the door leading into the food court, and I went ahead. “I was hoping you hadn’t viewed it.”

“Are you kidding me? Casey was there. She had front-row tickets.”

Yeah. Casey. She’d become a different sort of problem. I cleared my throat as we got into the line for the cafeteria. “You said the girls got into a fight last night? Are they eating with us?”

She snorted, pulling out her ID. “I doubt it. Casey took off. I have no idea where she went, and Laura and Sarah have been at the guys’ building all day. I saw them in the dorm bathroom this morning, but Sarah said they needed a mental day.”

The amount of stress that just left my body was comedic. I tipped my head back. “Thank God.”

She handed her card over to run through the machine. Mine was next, and our conversation was paused. It was food time, which meant ice cream first for me. If the other girls weren’t eating with us, I snagged a table in the far corner. Kristina found me. She’d gone the healthy route today with a salad, an orange, and a carton of milk.

I looked at mine. I had pizza last night. My tray consisted of ice cream, a piece of cake, two chicken strips, and a small bowl of yogurt.

I said, “You’re not holding up your end of the Freshman Fifteen Agenda. I can’t eat your end for you.”

She picked up her milk and pointed at me. “You’re doing quite fine, Miss I Have the Longest Legs Ever, But Act Like They’re Short and Chubby. Kennedy, you can eat like this and still be drop-dead gorgeous. Not me.”

I pointed to the Double Ds. “You have your own blessings. Don’t cut yourself short.” Not to mention, she was gorgeous.

“Yeah. Those.” She gazed down. “If anyone tells you big breasts are the way to go, they’re an idiot. I want to do a reduction.”

“Really?”

“Casey thinks I’m nuts, but she doesn’t understand. She’s tiny and compact. Guys love her body.”

I frowned. “If you didn’t have a serious boyfriend, you’d find out how many guys love your body. Trust me.” Since she brought up the C word, I prompted, “Tell me about the fight.”

“The fight.” She let out a breath of air and then started.

Casey had been withdrawing a little more each day. Sarah and Laura hadn’t been happy about it all week. Kristina wasn’t sure what started it, but Casey said something. Laura and Sarah weren’t having it. They said something back. It was Casey’s turn. Then theirs. They were going back and forth, and as Kristina was curled up on their couch with her social work textbook on her lap, an entire fight ensued.

Laura and Sarah wanted to know what was up with Casey.

She refused to say.

This enraged them further. It was time to double down, so they bluffed. She had to tell them or they weren’t going to drink together at Rugger’s (another name I didn’t know). Casey got so mad she stormed out of the room, but came back in, grabbed her backpack, purse, and her phone. Her second storming out was the real deal. Kristina hasn’t heard from her all night, except one text to let her know that Casey was sleeping somewhere else, and that’d been it.

Laura and Sarah went to their room, and Kristina only saw them in the bathroom.

She was saying, “I mean, I can kind of see Laura and Sarah’s point. Casey has been different. She doesn’t pick up after herself, and she’s been snappy. She’s herself sometimes, but other times, it’s like she pulls into herself and puts up a wall. Have you noticed anything?”

A chicken strip caught in my throat. I gulped it down, wincing at the pain. “What?”

“You’ve been hanging out with her more lately. Have you noticed anything?”

“She wore a sweatshirt to the football game. That isn’t normal.”

“Yeah. See. Things like that. They just don’t add up. It’s almost like she’s becoming a new person.” She finished her milk and stabbed at some lettuce with her fork. “Can I talk to you about something else?”

Her tone went serious. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I thought the fight had been the sobering topic. I was wrong. “Sure. What is it?”

Shay . . .

Where I slept last night . . .

How I’d been “off” lately . . .

Those three things and so many others flashed in my head, but she said, “I think Casey likes your brother.”

Another floodgate of relief.

I waved my hand in the air. “I know.”

Her mouth opened slightly. “You know?”

“Uh.” I grabbed the last chicken strip but began pulling it apart into little pieces instead of eating it. “Gage asked me about Casey a while back. I’m not really surprised.”

“You’re not joking?”

“No. Why?”

Her eyebrows dipped together. “I can’t tell. Sometimes you’re sarcastic. For real, though? You knew?”

“I guessed. I saw him sitting with you guys at the game.”

“Is that why you didn’t come over?”

Kristina had been my first friend at Dulane, but she didn’t know my rules. I nodded.

“I wondered why you didn’t sit with us. I mean, we saw you at the game, but I was kind of hurt. I thought you didn’t like us anymore.”

My eyes shot to hers, and the second chicken strip dropped from my hands. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” She stabbed at more of her lettuce. “I mean, you avoid us sometimes. I know you’re comfortable being alone, but I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder, you know? Like, did we do something, or are you upset with us, or something like that.” Her eyes glanced away.

She thought she was the reason I stayed away.

She thought she was the one who wasn’t good enough.

I was an asshole.