Hate To Love You

I grunted and was acutely aware of how he was right behind me up the two flights of stairs to our class.

A line of students stopped at the top, waiting to enter the room. I waited at the end, needing to cover the last two steps. Shay was right behind me. His one arm was on the handrail as he moved his foot to my same step.

He was leaning right over me.

Tension filled me.

I could lean my head back against his chest. He wouldn’t move away. I didn’t think he’d move at all, and considering it, some of the tension faded, but that effect he had on me was still there. I bit down on my lip. I couldn’t move away from him. The group of students moved forward. One more step. One to go.

I moved up.

So did Shay.

He resumed his same stance.

His breath coated the back of my neck, and I almost groaned. Almost. I held it in.

Pop quiz. Those words surged in my mind. I needed to remember what we were doing, where we were going.

The last step was cleared, and then we were through the doorway. Shay walked behind me, his arm lifted and rested on my shoulder.

I could feel Becs’s and Aby’s attention sharpen, so did so many other girls in the room. If I shrugged him off, that’d produce more attention. We all knew how much I loved attention.

Shay’s soft chuckle grazed my ear. We moved farther down the middle aisle until we got to my desk. His arm fell away, he swung into his seat, and like one being, we both sat at the same time.

The back of my neck grew hot.

Something was thrown at me. I turned and Linde mouthed, “WTF?”

Shay chuckled again—so sure of himself, so arrogant, so cocky.

Linde lifted his hands up, still waiting for my response.

What could I say?

I rolled my shoulders before turning back around. The professor arrived, and it was like how Shay called it.

“Close your books. Clear your desks. Take out your pens. Pop quiz, everyone.”





“Girl.”

That was Linde’s greeting to me once class was done. Shay got up and left, not looking back. Becs, Aby, and two other friends picked up their pace. I had no idea if they were going after him or just excited to leave class.

I knew what Linde was asking with that one word. “I felt like I would’ve caused a scene if I pushed his arm off.”

“What is going on with you and Shay?” He waited in front of me as I grabbed my bag. We walked together out of the classroom and building. “Is he messing with you?”

“Does he do that with girls?”

He opened the door, holding it for me, and I glanced over for his response.

He let the door go, falling in line again beside me. “I’ve never seen it, but that’s weird. You want me to say something to him?”

Say something? After Shay told me not to poke my nose in Linde’s business, and Linde was offering to poke his in this business. Ironic. My mouth dried up. If he did, Shay could tell him about my concerns. Linde could be pissed at me.

I shook my head. “Nah. It’ll sort out. I’m sure.”

Some guys called Linde’s name as we neared the food court. He pointed a fist toward them, then broke away from me. He started walking backwards. “I’ll say something if you want me to.”

I just gave him a grin. I didn’t want that. Linde was my second friend here. “If I do, I’ll say the word.”

He stretched his arm out toward me, a cocky grin on his face. “Word. Just say it.”

“Say what word?” Kristina asked from behind me. I turned, watching her sort through a stack of mail as she looked between Linde and me.

“Nothing.” I fixed her with a smile. Shay was gone. I wouldn’t see him for another forty-eight hours. Already things were feeling better. “How are you feeling?”

She groaned. “Embarrassed. I never drink. Now you know why.”

We laughed, heading through the line into the cafeteria. I grabbed a salad and water first. Linde didn’t just pour drinks last night. He ordered a pizza, so today was healthy me. Today was my fight against the freshman fifteen. No to pizza, yes to leafy greens.

My stomach was frowning all on its own as I sat down. Kristina was still in line. She was grabbing a bowl of soup.

Then I saw her roommate and other two friends, as well. They were heading toward the table with bags in hand. Casey tossed her bag onto the table across from me. “Hey, Kennedy.”

I picked up my glass of water, holding it to my lips. “So, you do know my name.”

Her grin faltered. Laura and Sarah dropped their bags in their own seats and turned for the food, but Casey paused. “Did you think I really didn’t know?”

“There was suspicion.”

Kristina came back, bypassing Casey and setting her tray down. “Where’d you stay last night? I didn’t see you this morning before class.”

“I—” She scratched behind her ear. “I stayed in Laura and Sarah’s room.”

“No, you didn’t.” Kristina rounded the table to sit next to me. “I knocked on their door. They didn’t answer either.”

“Because . . .” Her eyes darted around as if she were stalling before she continued, “Because we all slept in. We were all late for our classes today.” Her hand pointed behind her. “I’m going to grab some food. I’m starving.”

“That’s odd.” Kristina watched her go.

I stabbed my lettuce.

“What’s odd?” Sarah was the first back, only an orange and water bottle in her hands.

“You were late for class today?”

Her forehead wrinkled, and her eyebrows pinched together. “No, we weren’t. We didn’t go. This is us finally getting up.”

Casey had lied.

Kristina glanced to me but asked Sarah, “What’d you guys end up doing last night?”

“Studied downstairs with Kreigerson and Boots until they asked if we wanted to head to a party. We all slept at their house.”

I still didn’t know who these people were.

“Casey told me she stayed in your room and you guys were late for class this morning.”

Sarah laughed, finishing unpeeling her orange. “I don’t know why she did that, but we didn’t and she didn’t. We finally got our asses up an hour ago and had to beg Kreigerson to give us a ride to the dorm. I already skipped one class, no way am I missing the rest of them today.”

Casey and Laura came back, but Kristina didn’t mention anything. They talked about classes. There was more Kreigerson talk, among other guys’ names.

I watched how Kristina’s shoulders slumped farther and farther through lunch. Casey’s lies were hurting her. I held my tongue. Like Linde’s protein/or-whatever-else-it-was shake wasn’t mine, neither was this. And with that final decision, I pushed it out of my mind.

We finished lunch, and I went with the other three to check our mailboxes. After that, we parted ways. I checked my phone. I had enough time to look up local psychology jobs that might be open.

Pop quiz was aced, and I was back to my regular schedule of being a loner.





Missy was studying in Holly’s room. Not surprising.

I was in mine, busy looking for a job. It was the beginning of my search. I’d have to narrow everything down before I even got to the part where I started filling out the applications.

I was going over one more search on the Internet when my phone rang.