I know he didn’t know, because he’s usually hiding in his shed when I’m in the house with them, and usually they keep their comments mild around him. Today, Mom thought he wasn’t there. So she let rip.
“It was just because her friends were there—it’s okay.”
“Okay?” he says, letting his eyes scan my face. “Gracie, it’s never okay to speak to your own child the way she just did.”
“Dad, please,” I say, and my voice hitches.
He narrows his eyes. “Fuck.”
“Stop swearing, it’s not like you.”
“Fuck,” he repeats as if he didn’t hear me. “They’ve screwed with your head, haven’t they?”
God, he looks so pained. So guilty.
“No, I just had a bad day.”
He narrows his eyes. “Damned bad, by the look in your eyes.”
I nod and my bottom lip trembles.
“Jesus, princess.”
He pulls me into his arms and I burst into a fit of uncontrollable tears. It doesn’t matter how old you get, there’s always a time you need your dad. I cling to him, fingers curled into his shirt, and I cry until my body is doing nothing more than jerking silently.
He pulls me back and stares at my face, his eyes now soft, all the anger gone. “What happened?”
I swallow. I can’t tell him. He’d never understand.
“Gracie, you know you can tell me anything.”
I look down. “It’s just been a bad week.”
“You’re lying to me, honey.”
Dad. He knows everything.
“Please,” I say. “I don’t want to talk about it right now. I just needed … someone.”
He nods. “Understand that.”
I force a broken smile.
His phone rings. He stares down at it, and I can see my mother’s name flashing on the screen. He looks pained, because I know he cares about her, and what he just saw ripped his heart out.
“Answer it,” I say softly. “You know she didn’t mean it, Dad. She … she’s trying to be something I don’t think she is, either.”
He stares at the phone, I’m not even sure he heard me. He hangs up the call without answering. He’s hurt. “I don’t care if it’s not who she is, she’s your mother, Grace.”
“Yeah.”
“She’s always favored the other two girls. Always treated you differently.”
“Dad,” I say softly. “You’ve always favored me. It’s not really all that different.”
He stares up at me now. “Maybe, but I’d never, ever disrespect those girls.”
No, he wouldn’t.
My phone rings now, and I pull it out of my purse to see my mother’s name flashing on the screen. I contemplate answering it. I look over to Dad, and his face is hard again. I hang up, too, and shove the cell phone back into my purse. “Let’s go have a beer.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “A beer?”
“Yeah, a beer.”
He grins, and I feel some of the stress leave my body. “Okay, honey.”
Beer fixes everything.
*
I’ve had three beers with Dad when my phone rings again. I stare down at the screen to see Don’s name. Oh God, it must be over. They must have caught Raide and brought him in. Something angry twists in my chest as I lift the phone and press it to my ear. “Hey, Don.”
“Grace, just letting you know we haven’t gotten Raide Knox.”
I flinch. “What do you mean, you haven’t gotten him?”
From the corner of my eye, I can see Dad watching me.
“That wasn’t his house. It wasn’t even the house of someone he knew. He scoped the place out, saw the owners went away, and broke in. He’s been squatting there.”
Squatting? Oh my God.
“When we arrived, it was perfectly clean. Not a trace of him. He must have suspected you.”
He didn’t. I know he didn’t.
I broke everything off for fucking nothing. I ripped my own heart out, and his, for fucking nothing.
“You’re sure it didn’t belong to a friend of his?” I whisper.
“Positive. The owners had no idea who he was when we contacted them.”
“God dammit.”
“It’s not your fault, Grace,” he says gently. “It happens. A lot.”
“Now what?”
“You’ve still got a month. Take it. He won’t have gone far. Raide is here for a reason, and he won’t leave until he’s got whatever it is he’s looking for.”
His sister’s boyfriend. That’s what he’s looking for. And stupid me thought I could protect him from himself.
“And you want me back on it?”
“Of course. You didn’t screw up. Like I said, it happens. You’re doing a great job, giving detailed reports.”
I’m not doing a great job.
“Do you still want the job?” he asks.
I close my eyes. Do I still want the job? Do I want the chance to see Raide again? My heart is aching, I don’t even know why. It’s something I’ve never experienced before. Raide has affected me. He’s made everything blurry. But he’s also still out there, and maybe … maybe I can help him. He’s innocent, I believe that. Maybe this time, I can help him and fix this before anything bad happens.
“Yes,” I say quietly.
“Good. You did well, Grace. Don’t be disheartened.”
“Thanks.”