Any sane woman would have been terrified to turn the corner of a dark alley and find some tall, wide shouldered biker standing there, smoking a cigarette, his eyes damn near glowing with evil against a buzzing streetlight that hung from an adjacent building.
For me, it was everything I could have ever dreamt of.
So many nights I had stood in my bedroom window, staring across to Knox’s window, wondering if he was there and what he was doing. Or who he was doing. I had gotten to the point where I felt confident enough to talk to him but then my mother ended up in bed with his father and all hell broke loose. In the blink of an eye, my entire world changed again. My mother chain smoked more than ever. She cried at the kitchen table. She missed my father. She wasn’t sure if she actually liked Knox’s father or not.
Across the yard, Knox’s mother took off. His grandmother died. His father was never home. And before I knew it, Knox started to wear a leather cut just like his father. He had been sucked into the MC life.
But the life worked for him. It made Knox who he was odd enough, it matched who he was before the life. As though he was born to become this outlaw kind of man. For me, that meant always having a dream and fantasy but never living it out. It meant I’d never have the wraparound porch and white fence out front, you know? I’d never stand at the door and greet him from a long day of work. Maybe that was meant to be for the better, but it didn’t end up that way.
“Hey, darlin’,” Knox said as he tossed his smoke across the alley. It bounced, sparked, and died out.
“Knox,” I said. “That was bad what you just did.”
“Bad? When you fuck my boys…”
“Porter is tied into this,” I said.
“Fuck him,” Knox said. “My band works hard.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” I approached him. “It’s been a while, huh?”
He stood before me, towering over me. “Far too long, darlin’.”
I held my hand out. “Here. This is from Danny. He was going to rip you off.”
“Of course he was,” Knox said. “A lot of these dickhead club owners do that. The band really does have a life outside this. They’re honest guys. Good guys. Paying for their families.”
“And you?” I asked.
Knox grinned. “You know who I am, Ana. What I do. What I stand for.”
“So the Reap is still alive?” I asked, referring to the Reaper’s Bastards MC.
“Is that a question you really want answered?” he asked, reaching for my face.
His fingers stroked my cheek, bringing life between my legs for the first time in a long time. There was a different feeling when Knox turned me on. It wasn’t just about me getting wet. It was like heat surged head to toe inside me. It was the wildest feeling, something no person gave me.
I tucked my shoulder to his hand and let out a little sigh.
Knox was killing me. He was always killing me.
“Ah, fuck,” he whispered. “What happened to us, darlin’?”
“Do you really want to go there?” I asked. “History sometimes hurts.”
“Yeah, it does. I never stopped thinking of you. I know you’re not happy here. I can fix all that, Ana. I can steal you away.”
“Into what kind of life?” I asked.
“One where you know you’re loved. One where you know you’ll forever be touched the right way.” The back of his hand gently touched my cheek. “The way you deserve.”
Next thing I knew I was turning, backing up, knowing I wanted to hit the building and have him pin me against it. I wanted to feel his hand against the back of my leg and lift it. I wanted to feel him kiss me, undress me, fuck me. We never had our chance at it the right way. Everything had always been so rushed, waiting for the next slice of hell to come barging into our lives.
Knox got close to me, but not as close as I wanted him.
I then lifted the money to him, like I was afraid of him or something.
“Take this,” I whispered. “I have to go. Porter is on his way.”
“You think I give a shit about that guy?” Knox asked. “Darlin’, I just want you to find happiness.”
“I’m working on that,” I said. “Saving money so I could get away from it all, Knox.”
He nodded. He put his hand over mine and pushed it away. “Keep the money.”
“What?”
“You heard me. Keep it.”
“No. It’s your money.”
He shook his head. “Ana, I earn on my own. You take that money and stash it away. You never know when you’ll need it.”
I swallowed hard, feeling all those old emotions starting to stir again. Each time I met up with Knox, he always found a way to give something to me. To remind me that under that outlaw attitude and thick muscle there was a beautiful man with a beautiful heart.
“What about your band?” I asked.
“I’ll take care of them. I usually do. Plus, we’re sort of moving away from it all. Bret’s old lady hates him on the road so much. Luke’s old lady just had their second kid. Might be time to put it all away. Which is fine by me.”
“Jesus, Knox,” I said. “I had no idea. You guys are really good and popular.”
“I’m looking at the true star in all of this,” he whispered to me.
Just like that we were set back years, the two of us staring down at the beginning of a wild kiss. Our lips got so close, just barely touching, then Knox pulled away.
“Not this time,” he said.