Crap.
“Hey boss. What should we do with him? Huh? What should we do with him?”
“That’s an excellent question,” snarls Rexro. “Now let me see. Mmmm. What should we do with him?”
Meanwhile I’m focused on locating my powerstaff. If I can just find it. I mean it has to be around here somewhere. And as I twirl around upside down, my hooded eyes light upon my powerstaff in the tall grass where it must’ve fallen when they grabbed me.
Aha.
Now as I slowly twirl upside down I strain and reach my talons out for my powerstaff. Because if I can just get my powerstaff, I know with my shrunken heart and my new BIOCON LEVS I can chop off these dragons’ extremities in a jiffy. And the flesh flies will pick their scaly corpses clean before anyone even notices they are missing. Now the hot sun overhead is beating down on us, and I keep reaching for my powerstaff, and the rope tied around my webbed foot creaks under the strain of my weight.
“Let’s kill ’im and eat ’im, boss,” says the security goon. “I’m hungry. Let’s eat!”
I spread my black claws out and strain and use all my powers and you can see the biokinetic currents crackling from the tips of my claws to my powerstaff there in the grass.
Come on.
Just a little bit more.
There you go.
Now the powerstaff trembles in the grass. Then it hops over a couple inches in my direction and leaps up into the air and straight into my talon with a reassuring smack sound. It’s the most glorious feeling. I close my claws around the handle.
I’ve got it! I’ve got it! I’ve got—
The powerstaff tumbles out of my talon.
Oh God.
Now that ruthless tyrant Rexro steps forward and rakes his toe claws across my scaly green snout and I feel the blood well up in the fresh cuts and start trickling down my beak.
“That,” says Rexro, as he reaches out to steady the rope I’m hanging from, “is for blasting my cage with a firestream. You little sonuvabitch. I oughta kill you right now.”
Then Rexro’s Security Commando dragon blasts a firestream at the ground and instantly a massive fire is going right there in front of us.
“Looky there, boss! I made a fire! Now let’s cook ’im over the fire and eat ’im! I’m hungry, boss!”
Rexro conks him over the head with his powerstaff.
“Ouch!” snarls the security goon, cradling his scaly green head with his talons. “Whatdya do that for, boss?”
“Shut up, you idiot!” snarls Rexro. “Do you know who this is? This is Dr. Terrible’s grandson. The Dean said for me to fetch him back alive. Because the Dean wants to execute him out on the campus quad. Make an example of him. Maybe even lure Dr. Terrible out of hiding, case he wants to try and rescue his grandson.”
“Oh goody! Oh goody! Oh goody!”
Then Rexro looks down at me and snarls, “Today’s your lucky day, cadet. Normally I’d just eat you and be done with it. But Dean Floop says he wants to execute you himself. So that’s how we’re gonna play this! I am to take you to his lair right this minute!”
I feel my heart sink at the mention of Dean Floop’s name. Because the Dean’s lair is legend at WarWings, and for as long as anybody can remember, every cadet who enters the Dean’s lair has a nasty habit of ending up on the business end of a firestream. Or being eaten.
Now this big dragon Rexro yanks me down from the tree and I collapse in the dirt in a heap. Then Rexro binds my wings and forelimbs with flexcuffs. He throws me in some sort of bag and takes off flying through the jungle with me inside the bag, slung over his shoulder. It seems like he’s purposefully banging me against every single tree trunk he flies by.
Bam.
Bam.
Bam.
I feel myself coming in and out of consciousness. And I can hear Rexro’s massive leathery wings thumping through the air as we fly forward.
Where is my Queen?
[ 37 ]
DEAN FLOOP’S HIDEOUS LAIR
From the moment I’m tossed into the Dean’s lair, it is obvious he’s going to kill me.
I stand up and dust myself off. I’m still dizzy and bruised from Rexro’s rough handling of me, and it seems like there are a million throbbing knots all over my scaly ass from getting bounced against those tree trunks on the flight over.
Well this monstrous dragon Dean Floop doesn’t seem too overwhelmed with joy at the sight of me, that’s for sure. In fact when I first stand up inside his lair, Dean Floop turns his back to me and starts lashing his green tail around. And I can’t help but wonder if the Dean has turned his back to me because he doesn’t want me to see him wearing the eye patch over the socket where Dr. Terrible blinded him last night.
Now the Dean’s lair is glorious, I won’t lie. I mean the joint is overflowing with mountains of gold and diamonds and jewels. And there are skulls everywhere. He has all sorts of strange creatures’ heads mounted on the walls, from all the planets he’s conquered and all the hunting safaris he’s gone on throughout the universe.
Anyway, there’s a lone wooden chair set out in the middle of the Dean’s lair, and I stroll over to it. The Dean keeps his back to me.
“Nice of you to drop in, Gork,” he says. “Please don’t take a seat.”
I stop my rear haunch an inch away from the chair and straighten all the way back up.
Somewhere in the lair I hear a creature whimper and drag its chains across the floor.
The Dean belches up a thunderous firestream that shakes the lair and makes the walls quake. “How are you feeling today, Gork?” he snarls. “I hope Rexro wasn’t too rough with you?”
“No sir. I’m fine, sir.”
“Here,” he says. “Catch.”
My powerstaff comes sailing across the lair, rocketing right at me. I hold up my talon.
Smack.
“I have some good news for you, Gork. It’s come to my attention you would like to take my daughter Runcita to EggHarvest. And I am here to tell you that my daughter has agreed to be your Queen. Perhaps you saw the two of us discussing the matter in the corridor earlier? I believe you did. I saw you there.”
I just squat here like a jerk with my black beak hanging wide open. Not quite believing what I’m hearing. And yet I did see this scaly old dragon Dean Floop and his daughter Runcita speaking in the corridor earlier.
“It’s a simple case of you scratch my wing, I scratch yours,” he growls. “All you have to do is to tell me where your grandfather Dr. Terrible is hiding. Do you understand what I’m saying to you, Gork?”
Holy crap holy crap holy crap. This is real. This is happening.
Runcita will be my Queen.
Yes sir!