I can feel my heart shrinking under the onslaught of this sword. The natural flow is being restored to my scaly green ass. For once in my life, it feels like my gigantic compassionate heart isn’t trying to get in the way of everything. And with my massive heart out of the way, my body can get back to the task of jacking up my WILL TO POWER.
Part of me hates myself for this, but the truth is that Metheldra’s words about Dr. Terrible wanting her to treat me make me feel warm and happy inside. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate the deranged bastard. But the warm feeling is there too.
I keep my lids closed as I lie on the slab and snort firebolts.
“I think I can feel my heart shrinking,” I purr. “That one sword you’ve got stuck in there is working, it feels good. By the way, you never told me where Dr. Terrible is. I need his advice. I aim to get this chick Runcita to be my Queen. And today’s Crown Day, so I got until sunset today. And if I don’t get Dr. Terrible’s advice, I might miss my chance to get a Queen and end up having to live out my days as a slave.”
Metheldra pulls one of the swords out of my tender belly.
“I’m sorry, Gork,” she says loudly. “But I have strict orders from Dr. Terrible not to reveal his location to anyone. And he made a point of saying that goes for his grandson Gork, too. I made a promise to Dr. Terrible and as much as I’d like to help you, I’m afraid I have to keep it.”
But then she drops the sword and it clatters on the stone floor.
“What a klutz I am!” she says.
Now she bends down to pick up the sword and puts her beak to my earhole: “Dr. Terrible’s hiding in his secret underground bunker on the west side of the island. The one where the entrance hatch is disguised as an old dead tree trunk. Off of Conquer More Road. Do you know the bunker I’m talking about? If you do, just nod your head slightly. Be careful though! I’m pretty sure my lair is bugged. There might even be some micro-drone transmitters in here.”
And I don’t know if it is her breath or the information she whispers to me, but I suddenly feel dizzy. I know exactly what underground bunker she’s talking about, over on the west side of the island. I’ve been there a thousand times before. I can’t believe I didn’t think to look for Dr. Terrible there.
Anyway, I nod my scaly green head slightly so Metheldra will know I know where that bunker is.
Then the dragoness stands back up straight alongside me.
“But even though I can’t tell you where Dr. Terrible is,” she says loudly, “I think I can give you a piece of information that will be even more valuable than that! Something that could help you in your quest to get a Queen. You want to take that chick Runcita, right? Dean Floop’s daughter?”
Now at that moment there’s suddenly a loud banging at Metheldra’s lair door.
“Open up! Open up! By order of WarWings Security, open this door at once! We know you have Dr. Terrible’s grandson in there! Resistance is useless! Open up!”
I hiss and spray sparks out my beak.
Metheldra quickly yanks the rest of the swords out of me and hands me my uniform. “Hurry!” she whispers. “Go through this tunnel and it’ll take you back out to the main entrance of the Institute!”
She opens a circular hatch in the wall and looks at me. I stand there naked holding my WarWings uniform, and I take a long meaningful look at Metheldra in the flickering candlelight.
“Let us in! Open this door at once!” bellows the guard at the door.
“What were you going to tell me?” I whisper. “The other thing you were going to tell me. How I can get a Queen. And if it has to do with that chick Peekaboo, I don’t want to hear it. I’m not there yet. I haven’t given up on my first choice, Runcita Floop.”
Metheldra shoves me through the hatch into darkness.
“Runcita,” she whispers, “she’s in the gymnasium right now. Back on Central Campus. You’ll find Runcita there. And then you can ask her to be your Queen. Your BIOCON LEVS should be higher now, after my treatments. Now go! There’s no time! Hasten!”
And with that she slams the hatch shut and I’m surrounded by total darkness.
[ 36 ]
THAT HEARTSHRINKER SWORD IS A MIRACLE
I climb up out of the hatch and there I am, squatting near the gated entrance to the Institute where I was before.
Everything Metheldra told me has been true.
So I unfurl my wings and flap them twice and set out flying through the jungle back to Central Campus. That dragoness Metheldra might be a little deranged but she is a total maestro when it comes to her blades. I mean there’s no way I can deny the newfound sense of strength and power. My heart definitely feels smaller, shriveled, shrunken. Insignificant.
It feels glorious to pound my wings like this and work off all the crazy building up inside me. Whizzing through the jungle. And I’m flying as fast as I possibly can because I want to get back to the WarWings gymnasium. And I can definitely feel the new astronomical levels of WTP coursing through me from all that swordupuncture.
My God. That HeartShrinker sword is a real miracle worker.
Glance down at powerstaff. FLIGHT SPEED at 238 MPH.
WILL TO POWER has exploded. FangBanger.
So I fly my scaly ass a couple miles through the jungle. And I’m almost back to Central Campus when off to my right I hear a swoosh noise.
As I turn to look, a massive powerstaff swings out from behind a tree and strikes me between the eyes.
Whack.
When I open my eyes, I’ve got the worst headache of my life. And I can feel my blood pounding in my dome and for a second I get real worried that my skull is going to explode.
Then I look up and see that maniac dragon Rexro squatting here over me.
Great. Just what I need.
Now squatting alongside Rexro is one of his WarWings Security Commando dragon goons. I groan and reach up with my talons and feel a giant bump on my skull from where this dragon Rexro has whacked me with his powerstaff.
“Hey boss,” growls the Commando dragon, “he’s coming around! He’s waking up! Hey boss! Looky!”
That’s when I notice something is off. Because Rexro and his Commando fiend are upside down. And I wonder if Rexro’s mighty crack to my skull has shattered my neural pathways, given me brain damage.
Then I twist around and look up and see these two fool dragons have strung me upside down from a tree branch. I’m upside down there with my leathery wings hanging limp off my back, and I am slowly twirling in circles.
So that explains why my head’s throbbing like a bastard.
“Well well well,” says Rexro. “Looks like this little birdie flew too far from his nest!”
The fiend next to him starts giggling hideously and snorting blacksmoke out his nostrils.
Fortunately for me, I have a secret. Because what these two fools don’t know is that at this moment I just so happen to be rocking a FangBanger. And what else these two dragons don’t know is I just had forty or so swords jammed in me up to the hilt and now my BIOCON LEVS are so high I ought to be registered as a lethal weapon.
Not only that, my wounded black heart has recently shriveled up to the size of a raisin.
So I reach for my powerstaff on my utility belt and prepare to chop these dragon bastards’ heads off with my laserblade.
What?
My talons grasp around on my utility belt but my powerstaff isn’t there. The holster is empty.