Fribby made it to the button after all. And the button must’ve still been set to Runcita’s coordinates. I look around at my new surroundings here inside WarWings’ Central Campus, not quite believing it.
I grin a beakful of fangs, thinking about how close I came to getting my candle snuffed out just now by that depraved bastard Rexro. I sure wish I could see the look on his monsterish scaly green face as he flies through the empty space where I was just a second ago on the teleportation pad. I bet all those other cadets hanging around out there in the lava pits are snorting and hooting and howling at him right now as he picks himself up off the ground.
And for a second I worry that Rexro will turn around and go after Fribby. But then I realize the robot will have a thirty-yard head start on him. Plus he’ll be all pooped and tuckered out from the energy he’s just expended trying to murder me.
And heck, that robot is so ornery I’m sure she could put up a good fight even if they were on equal footing.
But now that he’ll be all tired and confused, Rexro won’t be a match for Ms. Cyber Scales. Fribby will be fine. Fribby will be more than fine.
Fribby will prevail.
But just in case, I whip out my powerstaff and send a message to Fribby:
Thanks chick!!!!!!!!! I owe you big-time!!!!
That was badass!
I’m in front of Runcita’s locker right now!
She was just here, so I’ll track her down soon.
Are you doing OK?!
And then I think:
Maybe I’ve got the makings of a Terrible after all.
And maybe I can still get Runcita to be my Queen for EggHarvest!
Suddenly there’s a white-hot flash in my brain. Then, without really knowing why I’m doing it, I squirt blacksmoke out my nostrils and start singing a WILL TO POWER poem:
“The secret of life is
when in doubt,
be terrible!
Because true happiness
can only come to you
by making someone else’s life
unbearable!”
And when I finish belting out the poem here in the corridor, I feel the poem surging through my central nervous system and giving me a major boost of MATING MAGNETISM. The title of this poem is “The Secret of Life Is Strife.”
My nostrils flare.
The secret of life is strife.
I feel my heart smile a little.
I snort firebolts of joy out my nostrils.
Who knew that being ferocious could get you so far? And I can’t wait to tell Dr. Terrible about my progress, but then I recall we aren’t on speaking terms anymore and this makes me feel pretty downhearted. But not so downhearted that I can’t still be happy about my progress.
Plus I don’t have time to think about this stuff anyway, because I have to find Runcita pronto.
I’m on my Queen Quest.
I glance around to get my bearings.
Where is my Queen?
Now the corridor is jammed with cadets getting ready for their first-period classes. Above me the airspace is choked with flying dragons.
Down here on the ground, fools and chicks are hooting at each other and laughing. And the sounds of deranged dragons slamming their lockers shut ring out in the corridor like rifle shots.
I wave my scaly snout and take a couple sniffs around Runcita’s locker and I get a fresh juicy whiff of her. I can tell she’s just been here. Maybe even as recently as just a few seconds ago. And I don’t mean to sound perverted here, but this blast of Runcita’s essence shooting up my nasal passages feels like a sweet kick to the brain.
Then I swivel my scaly head around and:
There she is!
Runcita!
My God, she is looking even more scaly and gorgeous than when I saw her out in the lava pits. And it takes everything I have not to faint at the sight of her. Run-ci-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three taps down the palate to tap, at three, on the fangs. Run. Ci. Ta. She’s right there, maybe twenty feet down the hall. I can’t believe it.
She’s just squatting there jabbering to some crusty older dragon fool. But I take a closer look and realize it’s not just some older crusty dragon fool she’s talking to. It’s her dad. Dean Floop.
Dean Floop!
Holy crap!
And the demented and dangerous Dean Floop is jabbering on to his daughter Runcita, waving his talons around, and his tail is whisking back and forth. The Dean is wearing the eye patch over his left eye, from where Dr. Terrible blinded him last night out on the campus quad during the RageFest.
Holy crap.
All the other cadets are keeping a wide berth from Dean Floop as he stands there whipping his spiked tail around in the corridor and talking to Runcita.
Now I can’t be certain, but it sure as heck looks like Runcita doesn’t care much for her dad. I mean the vibe she’s throwing him right now is Hurry and wrap this up and get out of my scaly green face. You figure Runcita knows what a treacherous scoundrel her dad is.
So I just hang back, watching the two of them jabbering back and forth. I mean it sure looks like Dean Floop is trying to convince her of something. Like he’s aiming to get her to do something she doesn’t want to do.
Because the Dean keeps flapping his leathery wings and waving his talons while his daughter stares down at his giant webbed feet and just keeps shaking her head no.
So I figure whatever they’re talking about has got something to do with the fact that it’s Crown Day. But I don’t have a clue as to how. I mean you never see Dean Floop out in the halls like this. And I know it can’t be a coincidence, the fact that it’s Crown Day and suddenly here’s Dean Floop walking out in front of the other dragons.
I mean usually all Dean Floop does is stay in his lair on campus and have WarWings cadets sent to him, to terrorize them. Or, in some cases, eat them.
So I figure that I’ll just have to wait for the two of them to finish jabbering. Because I’m sure as heck not about to go up to Runcita with the Dean standing there. I’ll just have to wait for them to finish and for Dean Floop to turn and fly off.
Then I’ll go up to my darling Runcita and offer her my crown and ask her to be my Queen for EggHarvest.
But as I’m thinking this, suddenly Dean Floop turns and points a murderous-looking index claw right at my scaly ass while he speaks to Runcita. And she follows his claw with her gaze and for a second her green eyes light on me and my toe claws shudder. And I instantly duck down behind a group of cadets out of sight.
Holy crap! Was Dean Floop pointing at me? Did Runcita just glance over at me?
[ 11 ]
HOW DR. TERRIBLE REVEALED HIS FIENDISH EVOLUTION MACHINE AT THE TELEVISED PRESS CONFERENCE EARLIER THIS WEEK
Let me quickly tell you why Dean Floop hates my grandpa Dr. Terrible so much. And why Dean Floop would love nothing more than to dance on my grandpa’s scaly green carcass.