At the mention of Dad, I see him crumpled on the floor with a bloody dent in his head. “It took me a while to really remember what happened that night.”
Her eyes flick to me and then back to her fingernails. “That might be a good thing.”
“Destiny had a mental…something…a breakdown or whatever.”
Something like concern flashes in her eyes. “Because of that night?”
“You really just asked me that?” I feel rage swirl my insides into a cyclone. “Because of every fucking thing you and Dad did to us.”
She lowers her gaze.
There are two answers I need. The sooner I ask the questions, the sooner I can be out of here. “Why didn’t you wait to set the fire until Destiny and I were out?”
Her frail body heaves with a deep breath and she hangs her head deeper. “I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“Because you were stoned,” I spit.
She offers a feeble nod. “I…” She trails off and shakes her head. “I think I forgot you were upstairs. I just knew I needed to burn the bodies before anyone else came in and found them.”
“You forgot us.” The words are acid leaving my mouth.
She cringes up at me, but doesn’t respond.
I push the cyclone of emotions that I don’t fully understand away and ask the next question. “Why did you kill Dad?”
There’s no doubt she understands what I’m asking when her eyes flick to the guard near the door. She lowers her gaze guiltily. “It just happened.”
I shake my head. “None of it ‘just happened.’ Things like that don’t ‘just happen.’”
Her eyes narrow. “You think I meant for that to happen?”
“I don’t know what I think. All I know is that one second Dad is carving a hole in Destiny’s forehead, and the next, there’s a hole in his.”
She takes a deep breath and the creases ease from her face. “He changed when he started using.” She shakes her head. “I guess I did too. I know I didn’t do right by you girls. I let him hurt you. When I realized how much, I couldn’t live with myself.”
“He more than hurt us,” I say, the fury eating a hole through me at the image of the guy pinning Destiny to the wall.
Her eyes drop to the bleeding cuticle she’s been picking at. “I should have stopped it before it went that far.”
“You think?” I spit.
She cringes up at me. “Things were complicated.”
“They weren’t complicated,” I say, standing. “They were easy. You were our mother. Your one job was to take care of us. But the only thing you took care of was your habit. You forgot us! Nearly burnt us alive!”
I can’t stay here anymore. Just being in the same room as her is making me sick. I spin for the door.
“Lilah, wait!”
I want to keep walking. I want to not care. But I can’t stop myself from turning to look at her. She’s standing, her hands braced on the table as if she needs the support. “You lit the fire,” I say, not even caring who hears. “You trapped Destiny and me in that house to burn. All you’ve ever given a shit about is yourself.”
A tear leaks over her lashes and she drops into her seat like a ton of bricks.
I don’t know what she thinks is supposed to happen. If she thinks I’m going to go over there, patting her on the back and telling her not to cry, that everything’s okay, she’s sorely mistaken.
“Hope you enjoy burning in hell,” I say, spinning for the door. “It’s the least you deserve.”
When I burst through the door, Bran is pacing on the other side. He stops and looks a question at me. I step into his arms and hate the tears that spring to my eyes. I don’t want to care enough to spare even a single tear for her. She doesn’t deserve it.
He retrieves my things from the locker and guides me to the exit without a word. And even when we’re finally alone in the car, he doesn’t push me to talk.
I lean back and close my eyes. “I killed a man.”
The tears roll down my face as I say it. He pulls me against his shoulder. I cry and he holds me as he drives. I feel his strength. I feel his love. I feel him in my soul, and it spills over into him.
I press my face into his shoulder and start talking, and when I’m done, we’re home and rain has started to shower down on us like the tears I finally let myself cry.
And Bran knows everything.
Chapter 33
Bran
I knew it was bad. I just never expected it to be this bad. I bring Lilah back to my place, because after everything I just heard, I don’t think she’s ready to handle Destiny in the shape she’s in. I lay her on my bed and she curls onto her side. I slide on next to her, lean against the headboard and stroke her hair. There are a few more tears before she falls into a restless sleep. Once her breathing becomes heavy, I get up and call Mom.
“Hey,” I say when she answers. “Lilah’s going through some shit and I need to be here for her. You okay covering the bar tonight?”
“I got it,” she says. “Everything okay?”
“Not really, but it’s not mine to talk about.”