“I’m supposed to see her therapist again later this morning. Destiny doesn’t want me to go.”
I tip my face into her hair and breathe deeply. “I think what you choose to do is up to you, not Destiny.”
She presses tighter to my side. “I want to. Maybe she can help me remember.”
“But you said you weren’t sure you wanted to.”
She lifts her head and fixes me in her gaze. “But I think I have to.”
I brush my fingertips over her cold cheek and along the line of her jaw. When I pull her into a kiss, she kisses me back.
“Will you take me?” she asks, leaning into my side again.
“Of course.” I would do anything for her. All she has to do is ask. But if this therapist ends up destroying her by digging up whatever this memory is her mind is protecting her from, I’ll never forgive myself.
Chapter 30
Lilah
Bran walks me to the door of the hospital. “Do you want me to come in with you?”
I shake my head. “Will you wait?”
His eyes grow darker and search mine. “Of course, Lilah. I’m not going anywhere.”
I take both of his hands in mine, and despite the fact that my heart is about to explode, it warms with the love and concern I see in his gaze. “Knowing that is the only thing that gives me the strength to do this.”
He kisses me and when our lips part, I back away and turn for the door. When I get to Mary’s waiting room, it’s empty. Her office door is open.
“I’m so glad you decided to come, Lilah,” she says, appearing in the doorway.
I mentally brace myself. Now that I’m here, I have to follow through. “I remembered some things after I was here.”
She nods encouragingly and leads me into her office, closing the door behind us. She takes a seat in the wingchair as I lower myself onto the couch. “This session is yours, Lilah. We can talk about what you remembered, or anything else that you want to talk about.”
I squirm to get comfortable in the corner of the cushions and lean my elbows on my knees, watching my toes turn first in, then out. “I’ve had flashes blood for a while—a knife pressed against Destiny’s forehead, but I don’t remember whose hand it was in.” I look up at her. “I asked her Monday and she says it wasn’t mine.”
“Why would you think it was?”
“It was a carving knife I kept under my bed when creepy people started squatting in our house.”
“Because you were scared?”
I nod.
“So you see this knife cutting Destiny, but not who’s holding it?”
I rub my forehead. “There are a whole lot of things that don’t make sense. I see a lot of blood—too much to be just from Destiny’s cut. We were covered with it. We cleaned up in the bathroom and when we came out, the house was burning and we had to run through the fire to get out.” Things are scrambling in my mind as I try to piece it together. “I think our mom might have set the fire.”
“While you were in the house?” she asks, keeping both her tone and expression carefully neutral.
I nod. “But I don’t think she meant to hurt Destiny and me. I just don’t know why she would have done that.”
“The blood,” she says. “If it wasn’t Destiny’s, who do you think it belonged to?”
I shake my head. “I can’t remember. I don’t even know how I ended up covered in it.”
She leans toward me, her hand on her knee. “Do you want to remember, Lilah?”
I take a deep breath and rub at the itch in my arms. “Yes and no.”
“If you’re serious about remembering, it’s possible hypnosis could get you past the block in your memory.”
Cold terror grasps my heart and squeezes, sending a shiver wracking my body. “How would that work?”
“It’s really just helping you to find a meditative state where things are clearer.”
“But I would be awake…remember what I remember?”
She nods. “You will always be in full control.”
I’m shaking as I stand and move to the window. Her office looks out the front of the building, and Bran is out there. A light drizzle has started and he’s pacing the parking lot near his car, seemingly oblivious to the fact that he’s getting wet. He stops and looks toward the door I entered through, then paces some more.
I turn back to Mary. “Okay. What do I do?”
“Just have a seat,” she says, motioning to the couch.
I move toward it. “Should I lay down?”
“Only if you want to,” she says.
Instead, I curl into the corner and pull my knees to my chest.
She takes me through the basic drill and says at any point if I want to bring myself back to a full conscious state, I only have to count backwards from five.
“Ready?” she asks me.
I nod.
She briefly goes over the instructions again and then counts to five.
“Are you comfortable, Lilah?” she asks.
“I don’t feel any different,” I say, honestly.
“Then we’re right on track,” she says. “I’m going to ask you a few questions. Feel free to answer only what you’re comfortable with.”