He sucks my clit and his tongue teases it until my whole body is a live wire. I twist my fingers into his honey waves as a long animal sound, like a cat in heat, claws its way out of me into the still night around us. I’m helpless to stop it. I roll my pelvis up to give him all of me and he eats deeper. His tongue dips inside me and I grind my hips with the rhythm of his mouth. When he sucks hard and grazes my clit with his teeth, lightning rips through my body and I arch up and scream out my orgasm.
He lifts his head from between my legs and lays his chest across my stomach, his ear against my chest. I can feel the pound of his heart, keeping time with the pulsing between my legs, where my heart seems to have lodged itself.
“I’m aching so hard to fuck you, but didn’t bring protection,” his breathes against my skin. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
“You could just pull out,” I whisper. I want him inside me so bad that I’m pretty sure I’ll die if I don’t get it.
He lifts his head and looks at me, and I see the need in his storming gaze. But then he backs away and straightens my clothes. “Not here.” He looks around the abandon dirt parking lot. “Not like this.”
My whole body protests as he fastens his enormous erection back into his jeans.
“What if I want it here, like this?”
He steps between my knees and holds my face between his hands. “When I fuck you, it’s going to be someplace where I can savor it and make it last. It’s going to be somewhere I can make you come, over and over and over.” He presses a kiss to my mouth. “Because I love the way you come right out loud. Just hearing you that jacked up is almost enough to get me off without you even touching me.”
When he fucks me. It sounds like a promise, and it’s enough that my body finally agrees to unclench.
“I love the way you make me come.” I press my forehead against his and lower my eyes, embarrassed to confess this while I’m looking into them. “It’s only ever happened with you.”
He presses me back and searches my face. “You’re serious?”
“You’re incredible,” I tell him honestly.
He smiles and kisses me, slow and deep, then lowers me off the hood and steps back and opens my door. “You’re pretty fucking incredible yourself.”
I slide into the seat. He closes my door and I roll the window down.
“Drive carefully,” he says, kissing me through the window.
Zoey told me giving head was gross, but this time she’s wrong.
Caiden’s not a boy. He’s a man. To know I can make him feel that way is the most intensely powerful feeling. I totally get what he said about how hearing me come could make him feel like he was going to come too. It’s like I’m wired differently when we’re together. Switches flip inside me and somehow we’re totally connected, vibrating to the same harmonic. We amplify each other—make every sensation bigger and more intense. It’s the craziest, scariest, most incredible thing I’ve ever felt.
And I never want it to stop.
Something fizzy, like seltzer, erupts inside me. I start the car and pull away, trying to contain it. When I turn the corner, Craig is there, smoking. He sends me a wave. I can’t stop the goofy smile as I wave back.
I’m on the highway when the first kernels of my next poem start materializing in my head. Girl Unhinged is the title. But I’m not sure words will ever be able to capture this feeling.
Chapter 8
Caiden
My fingers fly over the keyboard. I’m more focused that I have been in months. Maybe it’s because the mass of nervous energy that had taken up residence in my chest is gone. I can finally breathe, which means more oxygen to my brain. My final interview for the adjunct position, with the dean and department chair, is next week. It’s between me and a woman from Orange County. They’re scheduled to make a final decision on the same day I defend my dissertation, in four weeks.
I’ve managed to finish the next chapter of my dissertation ahead of schedule and my conclusion is flowing freely, pouring out of my head like Niagara Falls. I almost can’t type fast enough to get one thought down before it’s being drowned by the next.
My eyes keep flicking to the clock in the lit department conference room as I type. I’ve only got half an hour before I have to go over and beat the living shit out of Jones, then start my shift at the library.
I see Hannah in the sidelight next to the door just before it opens. She slips through and closes it behind her. “I was hoping I’d find you here.” She drops her messenger bag on the floor and pulls the shade to the sidelight, blocking the view from the hall, then locks the door. “Dr. Garret is making me redo most of my research. I’m going to stab him in the fucking heart with his mother of pearl letter opener if I don’t find another way to blow off this tension.” She pulls off her shirt as she turns back to me.
“Hannah…I’m totally on a roll here. This is a really bad time.”
“We can keep it short,” she says, unhooking her bra and tossing it to the floor. “I just really need to come hard, then I’ll be fine.”